Penname: Aname [Contact] Real name:
Member Since: 10/13/2012
Membership status: Member
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Reviews by Aname
Common Touch by Jane D Rated: All Audiences starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 143]
Summary:

When a diplomatic crisis threatens the relationship between Vulcan and Starfleet, will Kirk and Spock manage to stay on the same side?

 

 


Categories: Fiction
Characters: None
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk-Spock Friendship
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: None
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: ST:TOS Original Universe
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 13 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 66109 Read Count: 235135
[Report This] Published: 10/22/2012 Updated: 11/24/2012
Reviewer: Aname Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 10/28/2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Okay! I'm on board. Let's away!

You did it again--pulled us in with plot. It's nice to see that friendship fics still have a place in this fandom!

Reviewer: Aname Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 10/28/2012 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Perfection.

Reviewer: Aname Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 10/28/2012 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Excellent explanations of their self-imposed obstacles and authentic challenges to recognizing, communicating, and adjusting to shifting sands. Will keep checking back for more!



Author's Response:

Hi.  Do reviewers read responses to their reviews? - I never know.  Another thing I didn't know before I started posting was the effect of reviews - I have been caught unaware by their impact on me and the consequent impetus to keep writing.  Of course, this can be counter-productive in terms of taking time to get the story right (as well as on the rest of my life!), and I rather agree with you about the campus-storming in "Empirical Evidence", sorry about that.  But your reviews have a distinctive voice and I am writing to thank you for them and also for the trust in getting involved with a WIP, having myself profound sympathy with the reluctance to do so.  I will do my best to keep the balance between a realistic narrative and frequent updates and thank you again, very much, for your kindness in bothering to write.

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 11/12/2012 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

Best K-S spat ever, in any media, but so much more than a spat. You cover and uncover seemingly all possible territory which might bear on such an emotionally (and politically) complicated landscape. Excellent exploration of human and vulcan differences and challenges to partnership.

I was angered on S's behalf by K's 'words' ultimatum; considering S's unconditional trust of K (think "The Court Martial" hammer testamony). Then, Kirk spun it, reminding Spock of the times Kirk's sent him 1st into harm's way (he had me, for a moment, but it's not entirely fair..., or the same--but great writing and insight). You have an expansive brain! If there's a Margaret Wander Bonnano award, it ought to be yours.



Author's Response:

"Court Martial" hammer quote: possibly family favourite ST quote ever.  Thank you so much for being so kind; it was the chapter I wanted to get to because I most enjoyed writing it.  

 

Sorry I didn't get round to replying to your previous review and also that you didn't enjoy that chapter so much.  It is always lovely to hear from you and it made me think; now I have thought about it I think I have learned something helpful from some of it.  Other bits I didn’t necessarily agree with and there are bits of both reviews which play into where I'm going with the story and therefore I shouldn't discuss in an open forum; you can revisit the ground when I finish if you haven't given up in disgust by then.  But thank you, as always, for insightful and detailed feedback. 

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 11/21/2012 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

WOW! AGH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You have got to be kidding me!

This one took me by surprise: the cliffhanger--holy cow!--and the fact that you continue to reveal skill heretofore unforeseen. It's believable, too: actually hard to imagine Kirk responding otherwise, given the circumstance. I feel like I just took a sucker punch. I hope you realize you must keep writing--and not just for our (your loyal readers') sake.



Author's Response:

Actually, if I kept writing, it would be for the pleasure of hearing from you.  I read this review with a big smile on my face; I reckon it's the first time you've been anything but calm and cool and collected.  You are more than a loyal reader; you've been a wonderful reader.

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 11/21/2012 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11

The paragraph beginning, "The trouble was..." is either a little convoluted or I'm not the sharpest tack in the box. I had to read it three times. That said (and I have to add a little constructive crit. now and then, lest I appear to be an overly effusive Jane D fangirl), I love what you did with that Trallphori, my dear. I'd like to know how you came about developing that allegory--WELL DONE! I also like the fact that you have Kirk not understanding Spock so well. You give these guys room to grow, and portray their friendship as something sufficiently complicated as to seem real. I do hope you don't burn-out, because you are the brightest light yet buring in this genre.



Author's Response:

Ah, thank you for liking my trallphori.  And for being so nice.  When I've finished, I may go back and edit all the bits you think are unclear.

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 11/17/2012 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Okay, I've said, 'best K-S spat ever,' and now I'll add, 'best Spock POV' in a long time. Don't know if I've said it before, but you pack so many original ideas into each chapter--Spock's rumination on how the relationship with Kirk made him feel, his lack of enthusiasm for serving aside him again (and the maliability of both men's thoughts & feelings... very original, complicated ideas, and such authentic musings for a complicated friendship.

Hope the surgery went well and will afford all the desired benefit. Thanks for a great story and very considerate updating!



Author's Response:

Surgery was a bit like being run over by a gang of midget warriors with spears aiming for my eyes, but your review was a great compensation, particularly because I listened to what you said about my POVs earlier so am really pleased you liked this one.  Thank you so much.

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 11/27/2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hope 3rd time's a charm. Haven't been able to post tonight. So, no review (getting used to this?), but... (I tried PM, few days ago--maybe lost in cyber space).

Jane, were I an agent of any account, I'd find a way to get you paid for what you've been doing; what we've all delighted in, so completely. I enjoy your stories far too much to be thrown by a charismatic jolt. I'll leave navigation to you; toss in a few backseat comments, and enjoy the ride to wherever you care to twist, turn, or "jump." I like all of your suggestions for future stories (just, please write when time allows it). I am also a family person; so I appreciate the time quandry.

As I've indicated, I'll enjoy whatever you wish to write, but I'd love to see this story finished--I keep imagining what might happen within the 4 months which might make us regard Gol (I've a kink for canon) as perhaps not even a bad choice, given circumstances. I'd have Spock make the choice of his own volition, though; not as a result of Saredin's persuasion. Also a first for me, in fandom, I'm not ready to be done with an OC. Compelling Vulcans, other than Spock, are grossly under-represented in all of Trekdom.

There are many good Gol stories, but all seem centered on K/S tension sending Spock off. You have the opportunity and imagination to, as you've continually done, give us something new and unpredictable (citing more Jane D trademarks), and it feels as though you've set the stage for another good story--guess this is why it seems unfinished, to me.

Whatever you write, whenever you write, I'll be more than thrilled to hear from you again.

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 11/26/2012 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13

Okay, Jane, this isn't a review, it's an embarrassing, public plea: serve up another idiosynchratic jolt and you won't have to miss hearing from me. Are you going to leave us as you left Kirk... or will you clue us in on your plans, as they appeal to us, for the future?



Author's Response:

Deeply touched and amused (I thought you didn’t like idiosyncratic jolts?) – well, I acknowledge myself to be hopelessly in your debt, so here are my “plans”, such as they are:  I conceived Common Touch exactly as I wrote it so the truth is I have absolutely no idea what happens next, although of course I do have a view on whether Spock goes to Gol (I thought a strength of the piece would be that everyone would decide for themselves); I emjoyed writing it more than I can begin to say: I have (as you will have figured) an obsessive streak which cannot leave things unfinished and this means I fail at the balanced thing of writing at a moderate pace and keeping real life on track - in writing CT I virtually abandoned family, friends and a more than full time job; another reason for finishing it quickly was that I am committed to another writing project from January (though external deadlines should mean a much less intense level of activity); I would love to go on writing ST as well but I would need to figure out how to do so with sanity and also what to write.  On which last note, assuming that (a) I can be bought with flattery (b) I can come up with some ideas (c) you are serious and not an undercover agent sent to wreak havoc in my life and (d) you aren't letting yourself in for huge disappointment second time round, do you have a view about what this story should look like?  A sequel?  To fit in with canon (given that we’re getting close to TMP territory) or something off at a tangent?  Or a completely fresh story?   

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 11/25/2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I see no reason to stop, now, Jane D:) Here's hoping you go catch up on whatever you've been neglecting, and that we'll hear more from you, soon.

The last chapter was amazing. Again, you accomplised things I've never seen done in fandom, and which I suspect only you could articulate. I suspect we've all found ourselves deciding with someone our futures together or apart, and being torn between choosing the course we know to be best and the one we aren't prepared to ache for. You're right. Kirkk made the wrong choice. So did Spock, and he'll make another wrong choice, won't he? Ow! I hope your choice is to carry on, keep doing what you do so remarkably well. You can't be done with these guys, can you (even with Saredin?), or with us, right? Heartfelt thanks, gratitude, appreciation.



Author's Response:

You do realise, don't you, that if I wrote a sequel to Common Touch, I'd inevitably start with an idiosyncratic jolt?  You are my favourite person and I will miss hearing from you.  Thank you more than you know.

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 11/10/2012 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

I wouldn't want to miss a word you wrote, yet all together, the POV's a bit over the top for Spock (might work better presented as meditation, where canon allows Vulcans to mull things over). You and I could dwell in such a way, but he'd be more disciplined, concise, expedient; would rein himself in with "Kaiidth" (sp?). POV's are the one place where I think you stray unconvincingly from canon, as almost all ff writers do--the crux of that maturity bit I mentioned earlier.

Women FF writers portray this friendship as a love affair, whether doing slash or not, and write the characters as more feminine than would be true to form or function even in slash affairs. Canon gave us a profoundly unusual friendship, one exceeding bounds of known male friendships: S & K regard themselves as better together than apart, as completing each other, but not as inseparable or co-dependent. They are self-directed, ambitious, mature, independent men (whether hetero., homo., or bi., I'd argue).

None of us without prospect of marriage would tie our futures to a best friend, or even to a brother or sister who wasn't dependent on us by way of disability. Yet this relationship is so often written as if to separate the two would be more tragic than burying a beloved sibling prematurely; as if these guys lack the strength to endure what the most ordinary among us is expected to endure--the absence of the most important person in our lives, at destiny's doing. It's tempting..., and I've been emotionally compromised by many such tales, but even more unforgettable are the very few that convince us that there's more to these guys than canon left us with, but never less.


There's far more good stuff to say about this piece (and I loved it!), but criticism can be as constructive as praise, and I don't want my critique to be longer than your chapter.

Sorry to hear that you feel rushed to produce, and to finish. We're all so grateful!

 

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 11/04/2012 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

So, you want a review of every chapter, do you? Seems like the least I can do....

Looks like this chapter has received less attention from others, as well. It's not a bad chapter in any way. I suspect it inspires less feedback simply because it's a 'set-up' chapter, if you will, and is necessarily lighter on the Kirk-Spock interaction which pilots our Trekkie souls--you can't keep them both in the same room continuously and still move the story forward, giving us the depth of angles, intrigue, plot, etc... So, this isn't really a review--no time to re-read the chap. now--but I promise to leave a well deserved gratuity after each chapter from now on!

Thanks so much for being a writer your following readers can depend on. Please keep it coming! I'll be checking in every opportunity!



Author's Response:

Oh, you are lovely but no, I didn't mean you had to leave a review after every chapter (you sound like you have a life); I will just subside and be grateful for any and all comments and accept them at face value.  Lit crit is a funny thing, I'm finding - people in general are so incredibly kind but they don't necessarily like the same bits that I like.  Perhaps if they did, they would be writing and I would be reviewing.  Next chapter coming up.  Thank you for your company along the way.  Hope you had a good weekend.

Reviewer: Aname Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 11/05/2012 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Oh, so good on so many levels... where to start...? First, I get the feeling from Kirk's final summary on Saredin that we're not supposed to like him, but I do. His devil's advocacy prompts Kirk and readers to examine the relationship with which we're all obsessed, and from angles unique to me. I was glad to see Kirk have to question his response to being under Spock's command.You write brilliant questions for Saredin to ask, and equally brilliant responses for Kirk. I find I can't root against either opponent.

It's hard to imagine that Saredin doesn't respect Spock, and I'm wondering if Kirk and Spock have both misjudged him. Maybe I'm projecting... too eager to believe that you're not writing full-blooded Vulcans as virtually everyone does--as a uniformly miserable lot (how could they stand each other? I hope Kirk learns that Spock hasn't found working with Vulcans entirely distasteful). I like the possibility that the crews may actually learn enough about one another to respect each other, and I love how you turn too easily accepted notions on their heads. I could write a page on this chapter, or any of the earlier ones, but I am out of time.


Thanks so much. Looking forward to the next installment--and re: your response to my last comments, you are too humble. 

 



Author's Response:

Oh, I can't begin to tell you how amazing it is to have my writing properly understood.  With a reviewer like you, who needs chocolate?  You can write my next book and I promise I will give it amazing reviews. 

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 11/09/2012 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

I started to say I'd feel foolish trying to critique this work, challenged as I am to describe what I glean of your talents and to express how much I enjoy reading your stories, but given the effort you're putting forth, I'm obliged to make an effort.

I find the maturity of your writing slightly lacking in parts, but you counter with wonderful emotional breadth. Your understanding of people, relationships, nuances, and your ability to precisely pen them, along with a sense of irony, willingness to flip and spin these characters, imagination and vision of them beyond their familiar environments puts you in company of only a few, and perhaps leaves you a stand-alone among active Trek FF writers.

Many choose the OOC route when they want something beyond canon out of characters, offering a something lost-something gained (at best) variation of the characters. You give our cherished characters space to grow within their own fictional skin, making the journeys we take with them seem more authentic.

It takes special circumstances to make the self-aware/assured Kirk introspective: under circumstances you create, he'd have to be. And I applaud you for keeping him Kirk as McCoy knows him--not one to so extensively question himself in the company of others.

More intriguing is how Spock is revealed, and what he reveals to us and to Kirk. Again, circumstances make it all believable, and the unusualness draws us in for the very same journey of question, reflection, and discovery Kirk makes.

Kirk piloting shuttle to standing before Romulan Comander, without a word on transition, provided that idiosynchratic jolt I've come to expect from you;) You don't waste time on scenes apart from emotionally charged interactions, which I prefer over adding time between postings--and which is fine for FF, but you could, and perhaps do, go further.

Thanks so much!



Author's Response:

I do think we are swapping places here, and that your reviews are now longer and more intelligent than my chapters.  And certainly kinder.  Much of what you say is overwhelming.  I smiled when I read about the idiosyncratic jolt.  In turn, I've come to expect a comment on it from you and find myself thinking about you when I put jumps in the text.  I think this is partly how I write, to be honest, but there is an oddity about writing FF for this site - it's something to do with the reviews and wanting to deliver the next chapter to people who are bothering to read and therefore, as you say, only focusing on key elements of the story.  It's also a feature of trying to get to the end so that I can stop reneging on other obligations, although I will miss it when it's finished.

Thank you very, very much.

Reviewer: Aname Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 11/03/2012 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Oh, you are fantastic! I owe you much, for offering the best Trek entertainment available at the moment, and for updating regularly (even if not as fast as I can read:).

I did find the opening paragraph of this chapter jarring. It took me out of the moment and, for a while, it was like listening to someone describing scenes from a movie I'd missed, or like watching a sporting event that was pre-recorded, having lost the opportunity to see it in real time. If I recall correctly, you've used this 'jump' technique before: then, too, it felt as though you'd gotten into your story, then had the impulse to wrap it up quickly.

The "boardroom" brought me back to the moment and restored balance, and I thoroughly enjoyed the characterizations (though I hope Spock won't be drawn as an incompetent military mind).

I love the original scenarios you come up with and the vivid 'scenes' you create without needing to bog down the story in details better left to our genre familiar imaginations. If you stop writing Trek FF, I might stop reading it.

Wish I could offer better pay!



Author's Response:

Well, I don't know about better pay - your reviews are rather better than my chapters.  I am rather overwhelmed by them and by your kindness - thank you and thank you.  (I take on board what you say about jumping, I know it's something of my style - just checking though, she says defensively, that I noticed you meticulously reviewed Chapters 1, 2, 3 and 5 and said 5 was a bit of a jump - did you skip 4?  Or perhaps you didn't skip 4 and it's just that 5 was badly written, which is more than likely.)  And don't worry about Spock.  It's the weekend, more soon.

Common Knowledge by Jane D Rated: All Audiences starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 75]
Summary:

This is a sequel to Common Touch.

 


Categories: Fiction
Characters: None
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk-Spock Friendship
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: None
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: ST:TOS Original Universe
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 10 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 61599 Read Count: 169107
[Report This] Published: 12/02/2012 Updated: 02/06/2013
Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 01/15/2013 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

What a chapter. Realized I was barely breathing by the end, and of course, didn't want it to end. What a unique way in which to make Spock human. At the start of the chapter, I'd wondered if the virus would catch him and undue his Gol, but I hadn't anticipated this. Also had wondered if he'd save Stonn, or vice versa. But by now I should know you don't mix with predictability: I suppose if you do so at some point, though, you'll catch a few of us readers off-guard.

Liked Kirk's public address regarding his First. The question is, in the absence of Spock's humanity, would the intent have fallen on deaf pointed ears? As Spock blocks his receptors to all that is humanity, has his awareness of it languished? 

I think you pillowed Spock away in sick bay in another story. I know the Vulcan can be a pain in the arse, but I hope you won't keep him quiet for too long. But seriously, I know you'll deliver something original and thought provoking for the new awakening. Until then, holding my breath and waiting for more.

Thanks so much!



Author's Response:

No, please go on breathing...  Apologies for sickbay, but you know it's hard to write a story about a military crisis with a doctor in a starring role and not occasionally revert to it.  Don't worry, I won't abandon Spock there.   Will go away and think up "something original and thought provoking", no pressure there.  Thank you so much for this.

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 12/10/2012 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Jane D doesn't write FF as I know it. FF can be breezy or brutal. I prefer that which elicits an emotional response, but I never expect it to offer a cognitive challenge. I haven't worked so hard since the last time I read "Heart of Darkness." I had to read these chapters twice, but it was worth it; and for the first time since college, decades ago, I wished to write margin notes--an up-til-now unperceived failing of online 'publishing'/reading.

 

The paragraph in which Spock contemplates his early study of Greek philosophy, and his course of thought on it, within the context of all else Jane weaves together, is remarkable. Kirk and Saredin both ponder original causation as Spock and McCoy separately wonder what accounts for a dramatic change they see in Kirk? Can 'intuition without logic only get him so far'? It's fun to go digging for the answers in a story like this, to try to follow the different threads. I hope people will make the mental effort needed to do the tale justice, but I won't be suprised if it garners fewer reviews than previous Jane stories. It isn't fluff.



Author's Response:

I am going to print this review out and keep it somewhere to remind myself in dark days that I once inspired it.  Thank you so much, and I entirely appreciate the point about an emotional response - I hope to do better further on in the story but it was something of a choice - I'd love to be pointed in the direction of any other piece about Heraclitus and/or Aristotle which managed to elicit an emotional response.  Obviously, for my next challenge...

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 12/04/2012 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Super excited to see the sequel. I truly hope you'll enjoy writing it as much as we'll enjoy reading it. You lure us in, set us up comfortably, and then let in the villain.

Can't wait to see what Kirk writes to Saredin (if Saredin's character will further evolve in this story?); how Spock will respond,and how you'll bring him into the picture if he can't, as Kirk tells McCoy, arrive sans Constitution Class vessel for a ridiculously long time--Ah, but you're a clever one and we can't count on you, thankfully, to always navigate anticipated routes.

I wonder which of the three main characters you find easiest/hardest to write. In this chapter, I thought Bones sounds dead-on. I think you really get Kirk and Spock's voices down in dialog, but I wonder if you find it harder to do so as they 'scribe.'

Off to a great start. Thanks so much--you've made my week!



Author's Response:

As you know, I only wrote it to hear from you again.  And I hope you do enjoy it, because you have to take responsibility for me writing it, including to everyone else who reads it.  No pressure for either of us there, then.  I'll try to stay a step ahead of you, but you might have to wait for me from time to time.  Thank you  for liking McCoy here.  

Reviewer: Aname Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 01/08/2013 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

I loved so much about this chapter. It had me smiling broadly and 'feeling it,' alternately. Highlights: Kirk's ascent; descriptions of him and Spock sometimes blurred, so I wasn't sure which of them were under study at the moment, and then thought perhaps the effect was intended. Loved the lines (and all the imagery and more accompanying them); "The effort eased, suddenly, and he looked up to find that the ground had levelled. He had reached the gates." Moved by the reunion, on Kirk's behalf, and despite Spock's quietude.

In describing why Spock's voice is easy to read, and comparing him to those whose hearts haunt their sleeves, I thought you showed exacting understanding and discription of human--and hybrid!--emotional expression. Also commend you on getting inside Spock's head, and portraying what may be the best descriptions I've read of his inner experience and learning at Gol.

I also loved the humor: "Today it will be 45 degrees and cloudless. Tomorrow, too," and the fact that, as is so often done in Trek, it was paired with intense feelings and situations.

Many thanks, Jane D. I can't think of a story I've enjoyed more.



Author's Response:

I can't think of a review I've enjoyed more, so we are, as ever, on the same page.  Thank you so much for all your encouragement and understanding; I owe you much more than I can say.  Wishing you lots of cloudless skies.

Reviewer: Aname Signed
Date: 12/19/2012 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

I enjoyed chapter 3 very much, and greatly appreciate all you bring to bear to make your stories, the plots, characters, dynamics seem authentic. Thanks for incorporating all those elements that build a believable and intriguing sense of history and conflict. It's also gratifying to encounter OCs with enough weight to stand on their own. Kudos for avoiding tired Trek conventions (pun pardon, please): Wesley isn't a hack; Sariden's allowed to be fully Vulcan, and also to be capable of depth and growth; Ciani's not just a pivot point--I won't be surprised if she fills an action role in a future chapter (though not presuming to suggest it). I also appreciate the maturity with which the two main characters make their choices and deal with consequences, and the fact that Kirk being pulled from the ground to command this mission is as believable as anything in sci.fi.

POV and action chapters may be more exciting; but I like good scaffolding. Without meaningful character development and plot, I find all the fluff and action dissipates from my mind within about 24 hours. ~ Thanks tonnes, Jane D.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for an amazingly kind review - your feedback is always what I learn from, and I particularly appreciate the alternative spelling of Saredin, which is actually more authentic in the traditional Vulcan dialect from his home settlement...  Thank you tonnes, as well.