Penname: Jane D [Contact] Real name: Jane
Member Since: 09/30/2012
Membership status: Member
Bio:

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Reviews by Jane D
Spice by eimeo Rated: ADULT (NC-17) starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 346]
Summary:

It’s a question of biology. Vulcan biology.

The problem with falling in love with a member of an insanely private species is that it just might take you the best part of a five year mission to work out that the feelings are requited. And then you might discover that he’s already decided that the two of you can never be together.

And what are you supposed to do if he won’t tell you why?

~*~

Written as a response to T'Lara’s ingenious challenge, which is noted when it shows up in-text. Huge thanks to my fantastic betas Frodolass, penguin_attie and miloowen for being, well, fantastic. Any mistakes that remain are all mine.

If you'd like to download a PDF copy of the full novel (minus the author notes but including the translations from Vulcan), click here.

Also, the talented veta_black has created a fanmix for the fic, which you can access here.


Categories: Fiction
Characters: Amanda, Lori Ciani, McCoy, Original Character(s), Sarek
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: K/S plus K/other or S/other, Kirk/Spock Pre-Slash, Kirk/Spock Slash
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Angst, Character Study, First Time, Romance
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: ST:TOS Original Universe
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 55 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 282270 Read Count: 154814
[Report This] Published: 10/31/2011 Updated: 11/13/2014
Reviewer: Jane D Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 10/04/2012 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

I have never written a review in my life, I registered just to write this one.  It's wonderful.  It's the best thing on the site by a country mile.  It's obsessive and moving and makes me laugh out loud.  It's by far the most convincing and engaging narrative I've ever read about the nature of the friendship and what it means to each of them.  And it's the most credible description of how that friendship could have turned into something more.  Give up sleeping and eating and working and just keep writing, please.  And thank you.



Author's Response:

Wow!!! Thank you SO MUCH! I don't even know how to begin to tell you how incredibly flattering and wonderful it is to hear that my fic inspired your first ever review! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Give up sleeping and eating and working, you say? You would not believe how tempting that is...

Within and Without by louiseb Rated: All Audiences starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 65]
Summary:

NOW COMPLETE.

James Kirk is fearless. At least that's his reputation and it's been earned. But standing here, in this chamber of horrors, the captain fears three things - losing his crew, losing his command and losing his first officer. His friend.

Something is very wrong with the colony on Deneb III. 

In style of classic TOS with its roots in a classic TOS episode.


Categories: Works in Progress
Characters: None
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk-Spock Friendship
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Action/Plot
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: ST:TOS Original Universe
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 23 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 42955 Read Count: 231852
[Report This] Published: 12/14/2013 Updated: 07/30/2016
Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 08/10/2014 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18

Very nice Spock POV.  I like the mixture of irony, nostalgia, visual memory, Kirk half encouraging him from afar and the logical bit of getting down to business.

Particularly liked Spock tries and fails to understand why a family member would advocate repeating a pattern of behaviour which, on the balance of probabilities, seems likely to result in a loss of dignity at best and severe injury at worst.

In fact, I like the whole falling-off-a-horse memory.  Very authentic.

Also very authentic is the way they stop dead in the middle of a crisis and have a chat.  Not meant as a criticism - it's what happens all the time in TOS, and as you say, it's Spock doing exactly what Kirk would have done.

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 01/15/2014 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

NiceMcCoy voice.  Also, nice detail of shuttle capacity and wounded evacuation strategy - very convincing, always love that background colour.  Clearly writing and posting on the same day works, so don't feel that you have to wait...

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 01/28/2014 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

The jaws of defeat are close enough he can smell the halitosis - lovely.  Very faithful to JTK, the way he tried it out on the security guard.  And of course explanations always have to wait, don't worry, it's all part of the authenticity.  



Author's Response:

Thank you for picking up on my favourite line. And thank you for gently nagging me backstage. Works like a charm!

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 02/02/2014 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Oh, I do like your pseudo-scientific spiel.  Or perhaps I should omit "pseudo" - you can convince me of anything once you start talking about spectroscopies and pattern buffers.  I'm with McCoy - I'm a reviewer, not a...  Very authentically done.  Looking forward to the next update.



Author's Response:

Oh I do love a bit of pseudo scientific spiel. What did ff writers do before Google I wonder? I almost convinced myself... Thank you for the compliments.

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 02/09/2014 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11

Paritcularly like the way you keep up the pace, the journey down the tunnel and Kirk always half a step ahead of where Rawlson wants him to be and Spock half a step ahead of that.  And keeping the techie jargon coming.  Very TOS.  And just exactly enough informality from Spock.  Not too much, not too little.

I don't think, by the way, that your Spock is out of character at all, but it's interesting that Kirk's intuition is such a cornerstone of all Trek, yet Spock's allowed a gut reaction of his own.



Author's Response:

Thank you for giving me the springboard for chapter 12 with this review.I was floundering there for a while. And talking of TOS, I just re-read Common Knowledge and fully realised the Obsession inspiration for that cloud in Airlock Four.

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 02/25/2014 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Hugely credible.  Very authentic Spock POV (although I think that you can't be "very authentic" but you know what I mean).  Nice balance between the quiet of Spock's inner and historic perspective and the action - and I, for one, wasn't expecting the relevation that Rawlson is not a duplicate.  I'll nag if you like, but keep going.

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 03/13/2014 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13

I like the way you pick up details - character details, like getting into Chapel's mind and thinking about the aftermath with Rand - lazy people like me never stir beyond the main triol.  And also book details - that's a nice picture of Kirk, nice choices, and authentic, of course, because of Masefield.  Deeply impressed by quantum level filtration matrix, whatever it means.  Interesting that picture of Kirk not letting crew into his private quarters - instant vision of Chapel in Spock's quarters, Amok Time, and we tend to think of Spock as the private one, but of course the captain would have to be, as well.  Thank you for updating, more quickly, I'm afraid, than I can review.



Author's Response:

I can send you Scotty's tech specs for the quantum level filtration matrix if you like. I find it quite useful when sieving out those lumps you get in flour. Interesting that you had a flash of Chapel in Spock's quarters because I originally had a paragraph in here where she compared the two and then ditched it. I love occasionally getting stuck into some detail but am much too lazy to write big chunks of it -- and too fearful of accidentally stomping on canon. Was quite pleased with myself for tracking down Bonner the Stochastic in fanon though.

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 03/27/2014 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Really brilliant chapter.  I particularly like the way you manage to capture the details of combat so that it's clear what happens and why, and the reader has a feeling of both slow motion and rapid action.  Nice focus on the threat to the child and the fact that you can stop a powerful military command team dead in their tracks through an individual at risk - with all the "red shirt" fatalities in Star Trek, so easy to bypass the real horror of that situation.  And of course I love the phrase 'Vulcans do not' as employed by his half human first officer can be both wistful aspiration and deliberate obfuscation.

And the last line is a nice, haunting touch.



Author's Response:

I now have renewed admiration for anyone who can write those intense passages of physical action -- much tougher than writing emotional angst in my view. I just want to grab a camera and insert the moving images into the reader's brain. Thank you for your kinds words.

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 05/05/2014 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Very nice ambivalence around the waking nightmare leaving the reader, I imagine, in some (intended?) doubt as to what is really going on and whether Kirk has seen Spock, or perhaps sensed him or perhaps just doesn't know what is going on and it's just that dread, or lack of trust, even.  Great reference to the visual memory of Mirror Mirror, and also to the other episodes where, as you say, he has nearly lost Spock in the more traditional ways. And nice little surprise at the end of the chapter, showing that unlike me you actually have a plot and, um, more than three characters.   Don't think there's much doubt about whether your loyal followers want you to keep going.

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 05/26/2014 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I really like your Spock POV.  You do it incredibly well in the third person; I know you've done it before elsewhere.  I particularly like the perspective that the unreality, the lack of certainty of perception, is somehow transferred to the world around him (animate and inanimate) as opposed to himself.  And I like the thought processes through which he considers the potential human and Vulcan responses.  Hugely authentic but at the same time much more indepth and internal than permitted by TOS.



Author's Response:

I'd orginally started this chapter with a Scotty POV but Spock stood in the shadows of my keyboard, and raised an eyebrow and I simply couldn't resist. And yes, I find this by the far the easiest perspective voice for our favourite Vulcan. Really pleased this worked for you. In the end, despite the delay, it was mostly written in one time compressed morning so I can see a few rough edges now.

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 06/15/2014 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17

I think you do a lovely mixture of action and contemplation.  My particular favourites was this

Kirk has never liked tunnels; has never felt the urge to go caving, to fold himself into underground spaces and learn a world by torchlight. It's not that he's claustrophobic, he tells himself, it's just that given the choice he'll always opt for a sky full of stars, an open rock-face and a view. He feels vulnerable here in this shadowed world of dark sludge and curving corners in a way he never does suspended over the void. And it's not just the absence of a phaser in his hand, or the pressure of gravity compressed rocks above his head where there should be space and sky. The fact is there's a small boy where his First Officer should be and he's never felt more exposed.

I love the way you build in such obvious facets of how Kirk is (absolutely not an underground person and he's about the open air and of course El Capitan and the stars, lots of visual memories there) and then the wonderful contrast of Spock and Jake.  And I like the way you flash back over the past hours to see where it was leading to, again very visual.

Everyione is staying the course.  They're not all reviewing but they are staying the course, if only because they really want to know what happens next!



Author's Response:

Yay -- this was my favourite paragraph too. It felt obvious to me that this is not K's natural environment (and it seems a long time since I let the poor chap out into the light -- I've buried him for more than a dozen chapters now). I'm keen to know what happens next too. I think I know but when I start writing the characters have their own ideas and have a tendency to take over.

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 10/05/2014 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Great binary theme in this chapter - divided Rawlson, query divided Spock, Kirk divided as he is torn between different scenarios, and the binary arithmetic in Rawlson's thinking.  The two pairs, Rawlson and Barker, Kirk and Jake, and the two starships.  Also like the sensory descriptions of Rawlson - the feeling of dirt and taste and vision, too, (colours black and white and red) - all very immediately conjured.  And after all the other POVs, we come back to Kirk who isn't on his bridge and isn't in charge and isn't Rawlson and is stuck on the planet and doesn't really know what's going on, particularly with Spock.  Which is very reminiscent of TOS - camera panning in and out of starship and planet, different perspectives.  Think your muse is doing fine.  Thank you very much.



Author's Response:

Well, I think your review is much cleverer than my chapter. I know I was attempting some sort of theme and post your review, am quite happy to claim it was binary. Also particularly delighted that you can detected TOS-ness and sixities camerawork. That's still how I'm seeing this. Thank you for a lovely review -- will now wear a big grin all day.

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 12/14/2014 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20

I'm not sure this isn't my favourite chapter yet.  You do Spock POV so well - perfectly in voice, immensely accessible, very funny and a wonderfully light touch.  And really nice balance between reflection and engaging plot development throughout the chapter, and a sense of things about to happen.

Nice line

It is not possible for the universe to subtract the captain's presence from the sum total of life forms in your vicinity and for you not to know.

I really like the inner voice about emotional compromise which never strays into sentimentality.

And this

Despite his reputation as a miracle worker the Enterprise's chief engineer doesn't actually believe in miracles - you know, I don't think I've ever read anyone dissect the miracle worker tag like that and reduce it to the scientific expertise that it is, really nicely done.

And it's a good flashback memory, too - easier to see Spock taking refuge in memory than expressing overt fear or concern to himself.  

And how what's going to happen??

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 11/22/2015 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21

So nagging does work.  I'm not sure that capitulation is the best way of encouraging good behaviour but I won't quibble.  I won't quite say the chapter is worth waiting for - I mean, it was a pretty significant wait - oh, ok, it was worth waiting for.  I really love the Kirk inner dialogue (He needs a plan and he needs a phaser) and I like the Alice-in-Wonderland stuff and I think you are really excellent at describing the physical environment, including of Kirk walking around the ship - sounds, images, sensations, whilst at the same time providing the engagement of internal perspective  And the idea of endless mirrors for endless scenarios - really nice metaphor for all the different potential duplicate indivduals and developments.

You write very well about the twin anxieties of Kirk and Spock about each other's safety - it's done professionally and  unsentimentally and realistically, again in a nice mirrored way.

And your Spock is very, very true to life.

And it does feel like it's coming to a head - I'm sure you'll agree that you owe us the next chapter, like, now?

I mean, you wouldn't want me to nag, right?

Thanks so much for this.

Reviewer: Jane D Signed
Date: 05/15/2016 Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22

Well, you might not believe me if I said it was worth waiting 11 months for.  But on the other hand, it is quite lovely.  I particularly love the way you use humourous POVs from a range of different characters to colour in the background of a thousand missions to what's going on in the immediate foreground  - like here

Lying conscious on a biobed is Kirk's least favourite position. The doctor knows this. But he never abandons hope that this is the one time his CO will listen to sound medical advice. Privately she thinks the possibility of Kirk remaining horizontal given the information he's just been given is unlikely to be that time

What else?  The extended Alice metaphor works really well, and I think you have Kirk's inner voice quite perfect; we are watching events develop through his eyes, quite literally so, and because you make him convincing, you take us to the bridge as though he's holding the camera.  I love the way he talks to his crew in his head to tell the reader what's going on.  And I think the Bones/Scotty dialogue is great.

You do an excellent job of building both depth and pace by hopping from POV to POV.

And I think you did the Kirk/Spock reunion beautifully.  Satisfying and convincing and touching and not a moment of slush.  Everyone is in character.  Well done you.

Thank you and sorry about the nagging.