Reviewer: trekkie1701 Signed
Chapter 8: Chapter 8
I love how you handled their first time, the scene in the pool was wonderfully erotic, and how you handled Kirks relationship quirk was very satisfying (many writers do not consider those reservations and their romantic angsts fall short). I must say thank you for letting Kirk have some dignity, too often in fictions I have read, Kirk becomes a blubbering mess during similar situations. I thought Spock was a bit emotional but I don’t see how it would have worked any other way and have the same great result.
You had me going there when Kirk was about to be “broken”, I was beginning to believe Spock would be severely “too late”; great suspense build up! Oh poor Spock! I wish he didn’t have to resort to violence in such a way but then it wouldn’t have led to them deepening their relationship. I like your version of Taurus IV and how you got Kirk to open up to Spock about it. I connected with Kirks lines starting with “everything happens for a reason…” a great deal.
The way McCoy found out was hilarious and that the Shore Leave was simply sweet. =)
I liked how the 5 year was going to end on a happy note instead of Spock leaving for Vulcan and Kirk being chained to a desk wallowing in misery. Buuuut I knew it wasn’t going to end that way, what with the scientific mission you have planned for Spock and the foreshadowing of Kirk pissing of Komack by disobeying orders to a diplomatic event for Spocks’ sake. There was definitely going to be trouble. I liked how Spock got to be science officer and that Kirk wasn’t suffering from overly out of character gooey romantic possessiveness. Thank you for giving them independence.
The Scientific mission was great even though there was an insubordinate cadet (but what’s a story without drama and an idiot, right?). And Harrison had it coming. I was going crazy wondering what the Hell happened to Spock! You story is the only one I have read that had Kirk experience pain and other stimuli when Spock was hurt and found that to be very original (which I also like). I got a thrill out of Kirk having it out with Komack and, like Kirk, was hoping for more of a fight. I was suspicious over the Admirals action and stance like Kirk as well…very intriguing.
I was soooooo not expecting that! In the scene where Kirk is fooling around with the K’Van in the water my mind went “hey wait a minute” and then I was “no way, it couldn’t be….but how?” Then I couldn’t help but get mad cause you stuck Spock in a squid/horta body with the implication of forever!! (I personally didn’t like the TOS episode Spocks Brain so I couldn’t help but cringe learning as Kirk did what exactly happened) Knowing the way the relationship progressed in your story Kirk won’t leave Spock, for he simply can’t. I was very sad that Kirk, just like in STII he doesn’t get to have Spocks katra to hold on to, but that he can at least have contact with him (sort of since he is in an alien body). I know it’s weird but the image of “Big Octo” (the mini boss of Jabu-Jabu’s Belly from Zelda the Ocarina of Time) kept coming to mind so I used it as a reference.
Leave this story the way it is with the cliffhanger! I made a leap and thought of how this closely resembles S:TII and ST:III (it will when you write a sequel to tie up the loose ends and so forth). It also leaves us readers considering all the possibilities (like nimoys voice over at the end of ST:II). I felt that the title used as the last words of the story was well crafted genius! I didn’t think it could make it any better but it did! Take your time working on the sequel for great things are made through careful planning, time, and patience. When you do finish and post your sequel I will devour it, lol. XD
So in short: Wonderful, Beautiful, Amazing! It’s perfect and well balanced!! A great Spock and Kirk, you did them with justice and respect. I love this story and consider it to be one of my favorites. Thank you for making this and posting it. =)Author's Response:
Thank you so much for this amazing review. This stroy was a bit of an experiment and a risk. The fact that I ended it that way, with Spock still in the state that he is in, leaving the reader to wonder what will happen. I do want to do a sequel, but I need to finish up my other neglected WIP's first.