Penname: Ildze [Contact] Real name:
Member Since: 08/05/2011
Membership status: Member
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Reviews by Ildze
Guilt of the Innocent by kiragirl17 Rated: ADULT (NC-17) starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 70]
Summary:

After reading a few prompts about Spock leaving Kirk after a 'misunderstanding,' I decided to try my hand in it.

After being wrongly accused, Jim's life is thrown off course. He returns to Iowa to drink away not only his guilt but also the memory of a situation that he had no control over. When the painful truth is revealed, can the Enterprise get her Captain back before it's too late? Or is he lost to them forever?

8/24/2013 Updating all Chapters


Categories: Fiction
Characters: McCoy, Uhura
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk/Spock Slash
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort
Trope (OPTIONAL): Hurt Kirk
Universe: Abrams Universe
Warnings: Abuse, Rape
Series: Guilty of Proven Innocent
Chapters: 29 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 230459 Read Count: 113670
[Report This] Published: 05/16/2010 Updated: 05/24/2015
Reviewer: Ildze Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 08/05/2011 Title: Guilt of the Innocent

Aaaaaaah. What a cliffie. I have no idea when you last updated but can you please post a new chapter soon?
This story had me drop a few important things and my relatives got angry. But I'm always like that.
Noticed a few grammar and spelling mistakes, but the story grabbed me so I let them slide.
Hoping you haven't forgotten this story
Ildze.

Issues of the Heart by CMM Rated: ADULT (NC-17) starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 404]
Summary:

DONE!!!!!

This is in response to KrazyKat2009's Issues of the Heart challenge:

Summary: [AU]. Jim Kirk never joined StarFleet. He moved to California to escape his home in which his mother ignored him and his stepfather used him as a scapegoat for his frustration. Instead of becoming a notorious womanizer, Jim has chosen to lead a quiet life of solitude, living in an apartment complex, fixing people's computers and appliances for money. He keeps to himself, unless required to be around others in which he is unfailingly polite and respectful... but he uses his charm as a wall to keep people from getting to close to him. All of that changes when Jim goes to a StarFleet academic event to accompany a friend who goes to school there (not McCoy- who Jim can be introduced to later at author's discretion). Jim happens upon Spock, and cannot help himself from striking up a conversation after having read some of Spock's research in journals. Spock becomes intrigued of the intelligent young man, and wants to know more about him... but getting through Jim's barriers may prove to be quite difficult... K/S romance. No sex needed, but preferred. Would like emphasis on the evolution of their emotional/romantic relationship. BONUS POINTS: Please, PLEASE would like for Jim to be inexperienced in being intimate sexually with anyone (has issues with getting close to anyone enough for sex due to childhood neglect), but nonetheless is becoming intensely attracted to Spock. MEGA BONUS POINTS: Spock becomes patient, but determined, to win Jim's affections... and eventually leads to a lot of affectionate touching, comforting "snuggling", and maybe even some fondling. RULES? Have FUN.


Categories: Fiction
Characters: Amanda, McCoy, Sulu, T'Pring, Uhura
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk-Spock Friendship, Kirk/Spock Pre-Slash, Kirk/Spock Slash
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Angst, Character Study, Erotica, First Time, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: AU Alternate Universe
Warnings: None
Challenges: Issues of the Heart
Series: Answered Challenges
Chapters: 29 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 70946 Read Count: 612181
[Report This] Published: 04/21/2011 Updated: 05/13/2011
Reviewer: Ildze Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/10/2011 Title: Chapter 29: Three Years On

Oh god I loved it. Perfect ending. Enough dose of angst to make me right at home. Awww I feel gratified that you decided to share this with us.



Author's Response:

TYVM. It turned out better than I expected.

First Aid by CMM Rated: Mature Content (Teen) starstarstarstarhalf-star [Reviews - 27]
Summary:

This is in rsponse to Tech Duinn's Better than Chocolate Challenge, which asked for a h/c story in which Jim's family screws him over (again), and Spock helps him out. The challenge asked for lots of fluff; this has an overload.


Categories: Fiction
Characters: McCoy
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk/Spock Pre-Slash
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Character Study, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: Abrams Universe
Warnings: None
Challenges: Better than Chocolate
Series: Answered Challenges
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2324 Read Count: 14188
[Report This] Published: 05/15/2011 Updated: 05/15/2011
Reviewer: Ildze Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/06/2011 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Angsty with a dash of humor. Just how I like it. That Jesus line had me giggling for some time.
Great one shot is all I can say.

Author's Response:

TYVM.

Speechless by CMM Rated: Mature Content (Teen) starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 18]
Summary:

Because I have strep throat and feel like dog food, I'm making poor Jim suffer too.


Categories: Fiction
Characters: McCoy
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk/Spock Pre-Slash
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Character Study, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Trope (OPTIONAL): Hurt Kirk
Universe: Abrams Universe
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2595 Read Count: 8232
[Report This] Published: 06/28/2011 Updated: 06/28/2011
Reviewer: Ildze Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/06/2011 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Awww. What a cute ending.
Strepthroat is a bitch. God you described the feeling perfectly. I have had many problems with my throat over the years so I know how it feels.
Thanks for a very entertaining read.

Author's Response:

You're very welcome. I've had it at least a dozen times, and it's miserable.

Agony by CMM Rated: ADULT (NC-17) starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 301]
Summary:

Now Done!!! Happy Ending here!!!!

This is in response to 'Make This Have a Happy Ending' by vicktblueeyez. The challenge goes like this:

Challenge: Make this sad prompt have a happy ending. (not my prompt, belongs to anon at the kink meme)

Difficulty: Very

Prompt: Kirk/character of anon's choice are in a relationship the whole crew knows about and accepts. Then, Kirk gets top!secret-super!classified orders from Starfleet basically forcing him to seduce a traitor/spy to get information for Starfleet. [OR Kirk's orders force him to gain trust from the traitor/spy, so Kirk is all friendly and the traitor/spy takes advantage of Kirk.] Kirk follows orders/is forced but he's horrified, disgusted, and seriously messed up mentally by the encounter. Instead of comforting him or trying to understand Kirk's side, his significant other dumps him for cheating and the crew blames/is nasty to Kirk, since they aren't privy to Starfleet’s orders. Much angst ensues!

Keyword: Redemption

I've seen many takes on this prompt, all seeming to end sad which is why I haven't read them. Sad as in a broken Kirk, a broken relationship and K/S not getting back together. Mostly because Spock never found out...or he did but it was too late (Kirk ended up with Bones). I find it interesting that so many think a happy ending cannot be done. Kirk didn't believe in no-win scenarios and he didn't settle for the impossible. Instead of thinking in the box, he not only thought outside of the box but reshaped it. Saying something couldn't be done made him want to do whatever it was, even more. Yet, many feel that this prompt can only end in one way, heartbreak and it can only be written if the characters were extremely ooc. I think that is BS. A good author can make one believe in anything. They can take something old, already done and reshape it. The challenge here is to reshape this prompt and for that, you have to have the Kirk mentality and be as equally stubborn.

Stuff I would like to see but not required:

-A groveling and tortured Spock. Tortured as in self loathing. Kirk being all "fuck u, you didn't trust me, abandoned me, don't talk to me" and Spock maybe falling to his knees crying? "I have wronged you t’hy’la in ways you/I cannot imagine. I'm so sorry." 

-Super awesome dramatic make up sex somewhere down the line is mandatory. Pretty please?

-Spock has to find out somehow. Kirk left and Spock is clearing the Captain's computer maybe? Kirk thinking his hacker skills is all that leaves the file there thinking it won't be found? Maybe Spock overhears a secret conversation from Starfleet officials? Maybe Spock and crew are on an away mission some angry person is all "I'll never forgive him for using me for information! I thought he loved me but he was only pretending to follow orders!" Spock, "What orders?" Angry person, "Oh you didn't know?"

-Big time angst. Things like K/S seeing each other from across the room. Accidental touching. Something with big time tension.

All is forgiven and it ends HAPPILY aka with Kirk/Spock together.

I hope this lets me work out some demons so I can go back to my happy stories. Here we go....


Categories: Fiction
Characters: Chapel, Chekov, McCoy, Original Character(s), Scott, Sulu, T'Pring, Uhura
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk/Spock Pre-Slash, Kirk/Spock Slash
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Angst, Character Study, Erotica, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: Abrams Universe
Warnings: None
Challenges: Make this have a happy ending
Series: Answered Challenges
Chapters: 24 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 66520 Read Count: 356599
[Report This] Published: 06/30/2011 Updated: 08/11/2011
Reviewer: Ildze Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 08/06/2011 Title: Chapter 20: Orders and Plans

Damn, what a dramatic story. I love it. The angst and the way it was resolved kept me engaged trough out it. Thanks for a very entertaining read.
Hope you update soon because I want to see the story finished.

Reviewer: Ildze Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 09/04/2011 Title: Chapter 24: Justice and Rewards

Such a great story. I'll definitely continue to follow your work. Thanks for entertaining me this summer.

Author's Response:

TYVM :)

Cursed Clich├ęs by CMM Rated: Mature Content (Teen) starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 15]
Summary:

Sorry; I had to join the fun. Sort of a sequel to The Package.


Categories: Ficlets
Characters: None
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk/Spock Slash
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Humor
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: ST:TOS Original Universe
Warnings: None
Series: Fairly Funny Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 289 Read Count: 2558
[Report This] Published: 09/15/2011 Updated: 09/15/2011
Reviewer: Ildze Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 09/29/2011 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

rofl.
made me laugh..

Summary:

This is one of my song-based fics, inspired by a 1980's song of that name by a band called Night Ranger. Look it up; it's a cool song.


Categories: Fiction
Characters: McCoy
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk/Spock Slash
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Erotica, First Time, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: Abrams Universe
Warnings: None
Series: The Music Fics
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2853 Read Count: 3805
[Report This] Published: 12/14/2011 Updated: 12/14/2011
Reviewer: Ildze Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 12/15/2011 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Oh, wow. Soo good <3

Just what I needed in this dark time before Christmas. Thank you. Lovely writing and Spock/Kirk. <333