Back when I was 12 years old I found this old series on tv, that said it was the original which came before Star Trek Next Generation (which all my family was into). I watched it for a while and sensed there was a connection between Kirk and Spock. At the time I had been fascinated with the sense of love between two male characters, and these two fit that pattern. I was fascinated with their words and what they expressed, and often attempted to recite their on-screen scenes in my head, and sometimes add in a few scenes of my own imagining (I'm not a native English speaker, but English has become my language of thought nonetheless - I think in English). I proceeded to forget about them for a long time, until in 2008 a re-run of "Generations" reminded me of the old tv show. In the meantime I discovered and learned a lot more about everything (what fanfiction is, that there are others who write it constantly and have done so for a long time, that soul-based relationships do exist, how we project our creative side, etc), so I could return with a more distinct passion - which I did, so here I am. :) It's too complex to state what everything means to me and how it's all interlaced - I'll do that here and there, in comments, reviews, in my artwork and in emails. I write longish ones!
My thoughts on why slash is so appealing to some of us.
Hey everyone. I must say this page on Slash Essays etc is very important to me, for I get the chance to find out how others feel about these issues. So thanks for writing how you feel. I have felt a great attraction to slash since I was very young, so I always sought to understand this, because it seemed so miraculous to me (that feeling) - and I believe that laying it down to issues from the real world is mostly off-track. I was very young, as stated (perhaps 6 years old?), so I could not possibly have felt this way because of my not finding acceptance from a man... But I still felt the amazing feelings when I knew a True Pair from the rest. I believe it is a much deeper issue, to do with the soul, and spiritual insight (although not everyone believes in these things, and I respect that, but we have to communicate in some way). I find these things multilayered to begin with (NOT just "homosexual") - so underneath all those layers there must be a different core. Don't allow yourselves to be dominated (in anger and confusion) by the systems of thinking which are currently in place, because then you'd only be playing their own game. I find that the miraculous feelings I experience have always made me more and more aware of equality principles, and many other such insights - which I'm always happy to discuss.
Thanks for commenting and letting me know that you enjoyed reading my essay. It's naturally a deeper thing that just the mere gender issue, I agree. But it's hard to shake free of a society's conditioning and look beyond it. Thanks for making me think a little outside the box.
And I can relate to what Dahlia wrote, yeah: how do you communicate your interest in such things, to others? Like, oh hi... and by the way, this is what I'm into... They'd never accept you and it feels like the support you do manage to find is still a little bit underground... like a circle, all women who read/write the same thing... But I guess that's the world we live in - still, I don't want to give up hope for finding a way to communicate, because it has been my experience that these things do appeal to a wide variety of people, on a human level - that is their very attraction for me, in the first place. The fact that I can cross many "final frontiers" through it.
And yes, Dahlia wrote exactly how it "happens", the way we get "transported" to another reality, through the turn-on. This might be escapist in nature, but at the same time it connects us more deeply with our own feelings, which are a source of self-confidence in the very real world.
As much as I've been studying slash all my life, I'm still amazed by every new discovery when I come across something so surprising as my heart pounding in my chest, and the irresistible urge to grin... So yes, that connection with one's own feelings is very important, and to be treasured.
"Slowly, he pulled his hand away, leaving the impression of his palm on the dusty surface. I could see the reflection of his face in the glass imposed over the smudged outline from his fingers. It was a surreal image" --- I am an artist. This deserves an illustration. I'll see if I can come up with something. And the gift to the Galaxy... wow. Thank you for writing this story.
An alternate way "The Menagerie" might have gone. What if StarFleet had refused to accept the Talosians' testimony on Spock's behalf?
I wonder how you came up with the name Vortex Hole for the café... the music is better there, indeed. :)
Author's Response:
'S a name I've had in my head for years; me and some friends ran a funky coffeehouse once. Seemed to fit...
Beautifully crafted story. It held me from beginning to end, and I was sorry it had ended. The insights into the levels and workings of the bond between Jim and Spock were much appreciated. The way Kirk realizes he shouldn't try to sway Spock (even if he could) speaks of true love. The Galactic Barrier... quite a trip!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for your comments; I'm glad you enjoyed it! My big challenge in writing this story is, how to write a story that doesn't resolve the unresolvable and still have it be satisfying to readers. From your comments, it looks like I achieved my goal. Thanks again!
I especially love the moment of their "conversation" when Jim "gently urges" Spock to stand, with a touch on his arms. Their TOS touches are one of my favourite things because it seems they just belong there, somehow. And this story moment managed to build that up and draw me in. Enchanting.
Author's Response: TOS really did give us so much to work with, all the scenes that so powerfully show their connection. There's a whole world to build from them. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and thanks for commenting.
A Recipe
Alchemy is one of my favourite subjects - thank you for this wonderful poem.
Author's Response: Thank you, it came very quickly. K/S is alchemy as far as I am concerned
The second story in The Cosmic Fuck Series. Kirk and Spock deal with the aftermath of their pon farr encounter. First published in Thrust in 1978.
I am honoured to read these older (legendary) stories, some of them dating back to when I wasn't even born - I'm glad K/S goes back such a long way because it's one way of connecting to those times. "Cosmic Fuck" is a great concept, there's more to it than meets the eye!
Jim will overcome any resistance. A companion piece to 'X-Ray Vision'
Whoooh... Kirk is so determined, but he's on to something after all. "It is your reality too", "until you connect with your Self". Yep.
What really happened on Pyris VII with Sylvia and Korob
I don't know if it's because of corroborative evidence over time, or something psychic, but I could see this story coming from a mile away ;) (when seeing the title/description there). *Obviously* it would be the absolute "nightmare" of some hostile alien creature knowing/sensing the truth about them and turning that to suit questionable private purposes... (*shivers*) In my mind, that is the central reason why they hide in plain sight, and being military they can do so quite well (even at the expense of showing love) - in order to get to know them so intimately, one would need proceed with the utmost respect (so totally not what Sylvia does!).
Good plot, it challenges me to think about what kind of "alien creature" I personally am. I take out just one point though, for their choosing to play Sylvia's game... If not even that fake "God" Superbeing could know their truth, there's no reason for them to get this desperate! lol.
Author's Response: The image of Kirk and Spock in manacles was just too good to let go, without some further exploration. Glad you liked it.
Kirk and Spock play pirates while on the Shore Leave planet. Originally published in the print fanzine T’hy’la # 4, 1984.
"Help, help," Spock called dutifully, and was set down again with a thump as Jim collapsed in a paroxysm of laughter." -- that makes two of us.
Author's Response:
Hi SlenderSail;
I have to admit that this also made me laugh out loud - not when I wrote it, because I write my first drafts in a white heat of frantic typing and missing letters and fumbled keys - but when I did my first edit it did. I blame the guys - Spock kept whispering these absurdities in my ear while I was writing this. So glad you enjoyed it. Thank you very much for taking the time to say so.
Cynthia
Spock is taken over by a malevolent alien.
Originally published in the gen zine, Voyages II. Reworked as K/S for Thyla 27
Best novel indeed - I would have added my vote, had I participated. Deeply dark, disturbing, distressing - maybe there is a sequel of their reunion? You demonstrate thorough understanding of the link/bond, and the concept of the "beast": may I ask how?
A bit of stuff and nonsense, a kinky Easter Egg, especially for Vampire Biscuits. With special thanks to Monty for looking over my shoulder and putting up with my hysterical laughter whilst I wrote this.
I can imagine Jim's look of exasperation at each new confession from Spock - like the way those scenes play out where somebody keeps the weapons coming ("what ELSE, Spock???" and he keeps drawing them out) - but it's funny, because no matter what, it's for sure that he will complete Spock in every way. It's a bit like a shock-game where one is testing so as to get all possible rejection out of the way. I must say something about your stories, resistance is overcome pretty quickly.
Author's Response: I love how Kirk slowly starts to enjoy himself too...LOL. I don't like resistance to last too long ;)
Oh no, again McCoy doesn't get it (and he's a doctor!): when someone so sensitive like Spock is dealt such a terrible blow, he goes into complete shutdown. It doesn't mean he doesn't feel, but that he feels too much. I wish McCoy would get it. But that's his character in the series too, so there isn't much we can do. :) Now on the story technique: may I suggest beta reading before posting. I understood the story, but found it difficult to read and to "get into" its space, because of punctuation, etc. I realize many find such rules annoying, but stories (even ones on the internet) represent a respectful invitation into their space. Readers need to 'hear' the correct rhythm. Flow-of-consciousness doesn't have the same grammar rules, but it is a special case which is still delineated so that we treat it as flow-of-consciousness. This is a classic story type, so it looks unfinished, as if the writer didn't care to bother. However, we read these stories because we love to feel the love put into them - and that includes taking time to write correctly. Sorry for such a lengthy comment on the technical aspect. No intention to offend, just to explain.
Love like wine, matures.
Oh this is sweet nectar for the soul. Home and at home to each other.
Don't know what to say about the description of their perceptions re: aging, it sounds almost like it was planned before the story got to that moment. Lol, the "branches of wood" part... its combination with the overall reverent tone just cracked me up, it's a funny interplay. My favourite part though is their mutual pledge.
Author's Response: They both look so cuddly in STVI, I couldn't resist writing about it.
Spock wants Kirk to pay
;) "Kill me, Spock" - yep, *intensely* erotic.
Just a couple snippets that popped into me head. The first two require no warning, other than perhaps a smiley. The third is rather darker than that.
Why do you warn us about the third poem? It's so beautiful... *sniff*
Lol, "Paraborg is God." - hmm, submission to calm a highly irrational and capricious entity? :D
Author's Response: Just cos some folks really don't like CD stories or poems. Damifino why, but...
Kirk has regrets and remorse.
This story has that "something" which has always fascinated me: when reading the character's feelings about the death of their partner, it feels exactly like when they say they love each other (or when they meld) - the feeling is unmistakeable, of transcending self. It means they are soul-mates, a love that crosses all boundaries; but then I wonder why this doesn't appear in the text. Perhaps it takes a longer time for that awareness to cross that final frontier... but that's the truth of soul-mates, that it transcends both life and death. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt bad when death happens, but at least it never parts them..
Author's Response: It is always painful for me to write these 'death' stories, but it is something I feel compelled to do. My parents were 'soul-mates' parted too soon and I think I have an insight into this particular type of pain., it is cathartic for me to explore this aspect of the Kirk/Spock relationship.
Future Spock has a unique opportunity. SPOILER WARNING...contains spoilers from the new movie, so do not read if you wish to avoid these.
GAH!!!! This is exactly what I wanted to write, coming out of that theatre!Fascinating... I just can't see literal time travel working - there are things in the Universe you just can't do - but I recognize this type of experience and adjacent language from a soul or spirit point of view. To know one's destiny in an instant, etc, these are experiences that happen. Of course, movies always have to literalize everything. But it was like the old tales: the balance has been altered and must be restored; this is achieved via restoring the trust between those two (rising above a misplaced destiny). That is just so powerful.
I had the words "fare thee well" as their parting words, in my head. I think here, "farewell" has that original sense, "travel well". What could be more appropriate for the Enterprise crew.