Reviewer: Tatya Signed
Chapter 1: Reparations
No no... you haven't understood what I was trying to say :)
Being drunk and hurt is all good, but what lacks here, at least what I felt was lacking, is the Thruth about why Kirk is getting drunk. I understand it was wanted on your part, you desired to left it "open". Yet, as much as I can stylistically understand, I must also say that, withouth some background information about the reasons Jim Kirk is getting drunk, I don't think it is In Character with the person he was in the end of the movie.
There is a wonderful story very similar to this about TOS, and it was very credible. Because the author gave us the reason behind Kirk self-destructive approach (to the point of a more serious self-harming than in yours)
All the question marks in your reply to my comment means exactly that: there is something... not here in the story. It lacks something. It is more like a chapter than an one shot, and as a chapter I can't see a sense in neither their reactions. Sure, it could be... a lot of things. But it is undefinied and therefore too vague to make such extreme reactions, on both their part, "adeguate" :)
I would love to see a whole fanfiction about this, that is for sure :)Author's Response:
Have you ever reached a point in a conversation where you suddenly realized somebody was Just Not Getting It and probably never would?
Mine was this: "All the question marks in your reply to my comment means exactly that: there is something... not here in the story."
I think we're done now. You're right, this story isn't for you. And if I changed it so it was, it wouldn't be for me.
In the meantime, I encourage you to look up the "socratic method" of teaching. Wikipedia is a good place to start.