Reviewer: bemusedfox Signed
Chapter 1: Your pain, my pleasure
This is a good story! I like the idea that Jim is able to get some sexual satisfaction (though not enough pleasure) from the whipping! I also like that Spock is not only willing to acquiesce to Jim's Kink, but to actively particpate and enoy it.
As for constructive criticism, I would suggest trying to use less sesquipedalians in your writing as it tends to clog the flow of your story, and also at times makes it seem as though you were using a thesaurus as you were writing. Especially since sometimes you use words that might not mean quite what you are trying to say. Such as "responding with enthusiasm to the pheromonal emissions of his proximal mate." "Proximal" implies that Jim has multiple mates and Spock just happens to be the one closest to him, which, of course, is contradicted by the fact that Jim does not want to commit infidelity even though it would get them out of prison safely.
Big words are awesome, but using them just to use them hinders your writing.
However, overall, you have a very good writing style with a solid grasp on grammar, and are miles above the majority of internet authors. Your plot moves along nicely and you ablely weaved the flashback into the story.Author's Response:
Hi I thought I responded to tumour really thoughtful and thought provoking review so apologies, I must have typed it and deleted! Thank you for your comments, encouraging, and helpful. I really appreciate your thoughts. Words fascinate me but I admit sometimes I decide what I think a word ought to mean and thes forget that. I might be off message!