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The Ballad Of Solkar The Slut

Zefram was an earthling
Who built a ship of steel
He learned the science of warp speed
And all the Vulcans cheered


And down to Earth went Solkar
Oh he, of little taste
Just to accept a handshake
To greet the human race


CHORUS:
Oh, Solkar the slut
The slut, the slut, the slut
Oh, Solkar the slut
We all do what we must


Now, no Vulcan could blame him,
For being so uncouth
Though he often described it
As pulling out a tooth


He did the necessary
But we all know the truth
We know he quite enjoyed it
For we saw him crack a smile


While many of his crewmates
Would meditate a while
He went to Zefram's quarters
And was gone for many hours


[CHORUS]


For the bond from just one handshake
To last two lifetimes long
Is so unprecedented
That I put it in a song


Although I must believe him
As the records plainly show
That just one simple handshake
Is enough to marry two


[CHORUS]


Now, Solkar's grandson, Sarek,
He followed in his stead
As the first recorded Vulcan
A human girl to wed


With no official handshake
Lest our suspicions spread
Of the rumours that a Pon Farr
Sped the maiden to his bed

[CHORUS 02]
Oh, Sarek, the slut, the slut, the slut, the slut
Oh, Sarek, the slut
We all do what we must


Now on this ship, I see things
Of which I cannot speak
For guests should never admit
To having snuck a little peek


A Vulcan and The Captain's
Knowing looks and brushing arms
Is within regulation
But should make a Vulcan squirm 


And I reach a swift conclusion:
This has all got out of hand
Thus, the legacy of Solkar:
Surely not what he had planned


Oh, Solkar the slut
The slut, the slut, the slut
Oh, Solkar the slut
His family can't be stopped

Oh, Sarek, the slut
The slut, the slut, the slut
Oh, Sarek, the slut
His family can't be stopped

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