For The One I Love
Jim had asked Spock if he could run himself a water bath, here in their respite 'apartment', within the grounds of the Healers Compound. Spock had said, 'of course, t'hy'la. It won't cause a water shortage, even if we are on a desert planet' (Vulcan).
They'd come here after Jim had been hit, by a faction of beings on a planet, where most of the people wanted to join the Federation. The weapon messed with his memories, in order to disorientate him, and then, dropped him to the ground, where he almost died - and, as if that weren't bad enough, he fell in ground where a poisonous plant lay, and because his protection suit had been ripped, by the double blast of the weapon, bare skin of Jim's came into contact with the plant, and left him with yet more injuries. The poison attacked his spinal nerves and cord, in such a way that stem cell therapy had to be administered in even slower stages. It also left Jim with a skin rash on his back, a burn of sorts, that was healing, but just as slowly.
When he'd woken, safe aboard Enterprise, he could remember their relationship, but had forgotten just how far down that road they were. To him, they were in the early days of their love. Sulu had taken Command of Enterprise, because Starfleet had sent him (he'd been on Earth, qualifying for Captaincy, in recent times, but had just completed the course and qualified, when this happened to Jim.
After the initial days, it was decided that Jim should go and live, for some time, with the Healers on Vulcan, and Spock, as his bond-mate, should go with him. This, they did. The Healers were discreet enough to not announce to the worlds that James T. Kirk, and his First Officer, were bond-mates (still something kept on the down-low - as far as Starfleet, the Federation, and any enemy out there, was concerned), and living here while Jim recovered; they were also uniquely qualified to help Jim regain memories, deal with his and Spock's bond, and keep his mind intact as he did all of this, and more. It, likely, was not going to be forever, but for the moment, Jim, who, now, had recovered his memories, after months of rehabilitation, was in a wheelchair - allowing his body to heal at its own rate somewhat, rather than faster than it wished to go. Eventually, it was his, and everyone else's goal, that, he would be fully recovered, and, again, Captain of the Enterprise - and he was, mostly, on track with that goal. McCoy took any chance he could to come back to Vulcan, and check in on his two friends, and, more often than not, he found them in 'good spirits'. Sulu also sent them frequent reports, and seemed looking forward to getting his own ship, the Excelsior, which Starfleet had promised him. So, Jim wouldn't be ruining any dreams, or stepping on any toes, when he did go back.
One had to remember, to recall in the first place, a human quote, during days like these; 'When It Rains, look for rainbows. When it's dark, look toward the stars'. It was apt, since Jim had been attacked.
Spock walked into the bathroom, having left Jim to run his own bath, and undress. Though, of course, he'd monitored how Jim was managing - and he knew that Jim was aware of that.
He scooped Jim up, knelt then, and lowered him into the bath, where upon, the 'curb' around the sunken bath, appeared again, to stop any water splashing over. Inside the bath was another set of taps, containing enough water to 'top up' the water from inside the bath, if one wished -while the lengthy main taps, which Jim had used to fill the bath properly, were opposite the bath's entrance.
"Will you do my back for me?" Jim asked.
Spock knew that Jim meant the -instant-dry ointment that McCoy had given Jim, for his back; the patch of skin, sitting above the water line; that had been affected by the poisonous ground during the attack on that planet. He obtained this from a bathroom shelf.
"Share the bath?" Jim offered. "Easier to put the ointment on then!" He smiled. "And this water is pretty much Divine."
"If you are happy for me to..." Spock looked to Jim.
"Of course." Jim noted. "We'll be fine."
Yet, sometime later, when the Ointment had been administered to Jim's back, and the two of them were sitting in the bath, talking about their day, Jim quite suddenly turned away, as much as he could manage to, from Spock.
Jim found he was blushing furiously.
"What is it, Jim?" Spock asked. He was careful not to try out his touch telepathy, as any such thing, or any mind meld, Spock actually feared, would set back Jim's recovery.
"I'm alright." Jim said, through clenched teeth.
"Are you in pain?" Spock countered.
"No, Ashaya, I..." Jim turned back to Spock, his cheeks still a little flushed. "It's this damn thing!" He Guided Spock's gaze lower. "I'm sorry." He paused. "I'm -" he began. "It's," He paused again. "I'm frustrated. I've wanted you all these months, even though I'm nervous about putting my dick through its paces, since things are different now, -Since that second weapon blast hit my back, and made me practically pirouette around. I must have looked an idiot. I felt like one. I still do. I've got a pump in my genitalia - to make sure I can still get it up! Me, the great 'Cassanova Captain'!" He fumed.
Spock listened, and held Jim's hand. "You are the exact opposite of an idiot, Jim." He spoke up.
Jim smiled affectionately, and then, continued, "I know the thing works. It knows when my body wants what it wants. This isn't the first time I've got hard, around you, since I got back from that mission, thanks to you, and woke up to see you, the man I'd fancied the pants off of, for a long while now. I know it can also sometimes, misinterpret signs, and give me a hard on, when that's not what I want to happen in a situation. I've experienced that, too - but I want this now; I can't take the 'no action' rule anymore. I'm not even sure why we're still adhering to it. I can take your level of telepathy when we touch." He reached out and touched Spock's shoulder.
"In honesty," Spock decided, and began to explain, "I am afraid, Jim." He held Jim's hand, beneath the water as it was, resting upon the bath's curved seat. "Not of what you can, or can't, do these days. Not of that. I am 'simply' afraid of setting back your recovery - of, I believe it's called, 'blowing your mind' with the intensity of my emotions, and memories - with the pace that all of those thoughts, might come rushing through to you. What if I cannot hold back, as much as I wish? How will I feel, having to hold back sexually, if I have to - when I want you so very, very much, and I know that you want me equally as much??"
"What if we top this bath up, and start out gradually? I know we can manage to be gradual - and, if we're ok, truly, we might not have to be gradual anymore..." Jim smiled.
"Since you have suggested this plan, what do you desire I do, for now, Ashaya?" Spock acquiesced, as he moved over to the 'top up' tap, and switched it on.
"I feel like I'd come if you just touched me, down there, for so much as a minute." Jim confessed.
Spock turned off the 'top up' tap, and moved back over to Jim. First, he took Jim's hand, and initiated an O'zhesta kiss. "I am so sorry that you have had to put up with all of this, with everything, but also, this, as well as all else. I should have braved us doing something like this," he moved his hand down below the water, and brushed Jim's abdomen first, with his fingers. "I have wanted to do what I am doing now." Spock added, as his fingers 'curled' around Jim's shaft. "I have been afraid of losing you. Illogical at this point," he brushed and caressed, Jim's dick from base to tip. His hand lifted up, not touching Jim, for a moment. "Afraid that you might forget that you wanted whatever we were doing, in the middle of it." Spock confided. "But, if I make you feel embarrassed, or if I ever made you apologise for needing our sex. If you ever thought it wrong," He paused, as he touched Jim, massaging, just gently 'tugging' even, if it could be called that, "then we would be back to a time when," His voice trailed off. His touches got light, for a second. Lighter. "when we were in denial; when we hadn't yet proved to Starfleet, that we could still be trusted still, focussed still, on the needs of the many, and not of us, selfishly, or blindingly. That would be very wrong."
"You can touch me, still." Jim yearned. "It's not like auto suggestion. I promise you, I won't forget, fret, and plead with you to stop. You won't traumatise me with this." Jim reached below the water line and touched Spock's pointed Vulcan penis. "And, I won't traumatise you." Jim lent in. He 'whispered', intensely. "I won't go back to all that Denial, all that heartache."
Spock moved forward to meet Jim, so that he didn't have to move over much. They kissed on the lips, and Spock began administering to Jim's needs again. "Tu Dena Val, T'hy'la." He murmured.
"I know." Jim assured him. "I know that - and me to you, too." He grinned into another kiss of their lips, and went back in for more, tugging on Spock's tongue, and his erection. After a while, he lent back in the bath, hands flat on the seat, closed his eyes, and tried to move in Spock's awesome hands. "Spock, I'm..!" He thrust his hips as much as he could. "I'm SO CLOSE!!! So Close!!! God, ohhh! Ohh! FUCK!!!! I'm gonna! I'm gonna do, it Spock!" He spilled himself into the surrounding waters, and Spock's hands, his dick and his hips twitching, still heated - and not still.
"You are magnificent." Spock stated, lovingly, as he moved to Jim's side.
"You're wonderful!" Jim looked to him. "What about you, Spock?" Jim looked down into the clear water. He plunged his hand into the water, and pressed, knowing that Spock enjoyed this; a heal of one of his hands, into that sensitive skin there, onto Spock's sensitive skin, onto his erection, into his sexual need, and his soul...
They began again. They continued on... They loved one another, as ever, and always.