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I cannot abide this burning, this ever-churning hell upon my loins. I’ve been rejected by my intended, and I have fought with my desires upon the sands of my homeland but it is all for naught. My Captain, so quick to prey upon the weak, refuses this once to prey upon me. My Time which we believed had receded, continues to burn slowly but surely beneath my skin. The Captain’s voice, faint and hollow, echoes between us just insistently enough to drive me into madness.

What form of Empirical Commander can I continue to maintain? What sort of Vulcan am I to succumb to such illogical purpose? And yet I need. I begin to burn again. It is not the sands of Vulcan that call, but the golden planes of flesh, the salty musk of human sweat and the manipulative hands which only he can wield. T’Pring would have sufficed, but if I am honest, I am happy to be rid of the futile link which once held us bound. The Kah-if-fee was expected, but this ridiculous obsession…It rekindles the fire of my blood anew. It makes me desire shameful things, speak unutterable truths and worst of all—to who but the most unsavory fiend with which I am most privileged to know?

James Tiberius Kirk, a wolf that dare not hide behind a sheep’s pathetic wool. There is no skin which can contain his exuberance for victory, his penchant for survival and his talent for deceit. Above all others, I hold him in my esteem and yet to utter such diatribe aloud would be the utmost humiliation. Kirk will not settle himself beside any being which might require true proximity. That I am such a being is abominable, for it is this proximity that I seek…that I so desperately need in order to avoid another dance with death. Were I fully Vulcan, I would take without recourse, but the taint of my lesser blood is strong enough to possess me with a conscience and the curse of a reason that not even the fever can abate.

            His body would be easily surmountable, but his mind is not something I can indifferently destroy. Humans are so ruled by their flesh, and yet it is only by choice that they relinquish what a Vulcan needs to vanquish the unrelenting heat of Pon Farr. I could rut against Kirk until we were both sick with dehydration, but without his willing mind I will forever burn asunder.

            I have told him of my desires, and I will continue to present them to him until he relents. I will pace these floors before the blazing totem in my quarters until it is time for my duty shift to begin. Someone must keep the ambitious young wolves at bay, and the Captain cannot do this alone. Until I am rendered to a state which begs my confinement, I must continue to be that force but if…if this continues, I will not be fit to remain here. I will venture to the monasteries at Gol and waste the remainder of my years toiling as an embittered eunuch.

            No. I will not meet with that fate. I will persuade him to give to me that which we have both desired but failed or, more accurately, feared to initiate. He will be mine, and I will be his. Together, we will continue as we always have but mightier and more successful. We will bring this empire to its knees, but first…first…

“Surak Almighty,
I feel my temperature rising
Higher, higher
It's burning right through my Katra

“Kirk, Kirk, Kirk,
You’re setting my blood on fire
My brain is flaming
And next time you can’t say no!

“Your gazes lit this pyre
Like a death song on my lyre
Sooth my biology
With burning love

“Ooh, ooh, ooh,
I feel my temperature rising
Help me, I'm flaming
I must be a hundred and nine
Burning, burning, burning
And nothing can cool me
I just need a lover’s stroke
And I’ll be fine

“A mind meld will cease this fire
Bonded, we’ll take the Empire,
And they’ll all bow to our might—
With burning love

“It's coming closer
The flames are taking my body
Please Kirk just fuck me
I will not get in your way!
It's hard to breathe
Ah! My chest is a-heaving

“Surak Almighty,
I’ll burn a hole wherever I lay
Come and fuck me from this fire!
I’ll chase you round the Enterprise—
Our minds will be as one
With burning love
With burning love
Ah, ah, burning love
I'm just a hunk, a hunk of Vulcan love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of Vulcan love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of Vulcan love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love!”



“Commander Spock, answer your comm!” Only the doctor would dare to interrupt my meditation.

I must answer his call, however, as my continued medical clearance depends upon it. “What is it?” I ask. It is once again becoming difficult to maintain my composure.

“Your security team needs to escort you to sickbay before you report for duty this morning. You’ve got another couple rounds of tests due before we’re through—Empirical orders.” The doctor’s voice sounds strained, but that is only to be expected.

Things are awkward between the three of us now, as we navigate an unlikely camaraderie. Kirk and I both owe him our lives; a fact that neither of us will forget but of which both of us are logically wary. “I will report to sickbay within approximately twelve minutes. Spock out.”






Chapter End Notes:



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