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There’s a chill on my face

That I’ve never known before

There’s a darkness in this place

That I’ve never felt before

 

Looking in through a window

Out at a vacuum

A vacuum of air

And it’s so cold

So cold

That I can’t bear

 

Jealousy is not for me

I’ve lived a life

Held down, unfree

Shackled by false pity

 

I drowned in faces

Hid in crowds

I dreamed of places

Past the clouds

I yearned so hollow

Filled with change

For tomorrow

To rise with age

 

The skies were golden at the dawn

The roof was warm

The spring had gone

I’d looked across the fields and fancies

Savored things I’d never had

 

I suffered

Took a joy in it

Held myself at arm’s length

But just couldn’t quit

I lacked the strength


I thought I knew

What Life could hold

I thought of youth

And joy and hope

I thought of pain

And fear and hate

I looked at fire

Watched it burned

And in my heart

I stared and yearned

But just today

A little while

I walked inside

And saw the truth

And in that moment lost my youth

 

For there you were

And stars could fade and die away

And still not have

The light in you

 

The night could fall down on its knees

Prey and scream

And still not see

In itself

The warmth and fire

In those eyes

Made for desire

 

Every world we’ve ever seen

Would have to be

Mad and full of ire

To call my words

Those of a liar

For there you were

And I was cold

To be so far

From you and old

 

For there you were a room away

And I could never

Touch or say

 

For there you were

With wit and fire

There you were

Thorn and briar

There you were passion’s child

Unbound eternal

Ever wild

 

And I could reach right out and speak

And I could let myself be weak

And then cold logic would prevail

The thing I love would my soul impale

The thing I need and want and seek

It would in leaving, havoc wreak

 

And so I keep myself in silence

So contrary to my normal quick defiance

I hide behind a Captain’s mask

And stop myself before I ask

What would it take

To unveil truth?

What would it take

To let you loose?

What would it cost?

What price is mine?

Who sees this first

And only time

Beauty in

A stoic’s face

And loses now

Gone and erased

Every glory come before

Entrapped now always at my core.

 

 

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