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Jim stared about him, at the space port.  This had been an unplanned stopover for him, but he was finding it quite enlightening.  He was on his own, returning from a brief diplomatic mission, and his plans to spend a few free days on Andoria had been scotched by a hyperspatial anomaly which had temporarily closed the space lanes to Andoria.  He had two options… go straight back to Earth, or go back to Earth via the nearest space port, Vulcan, and spend a few days on Vulcan whilst waiting for the Enterprise to return to Earth too.

Of course he chose to go via Vulcan.   It was a chance to observe Spock’s home planet, and even though he would rather have had Spock with him as a tour guide, it had still been a surprisingly enjoyable stopover.  Left to his own devices, he had found that he was having a good time indulging in one of his favourite hobbies… Vulcan-watching.  It fell just a little short of his all-time favourite hobby, Spock-watching, but it was enough to keep him occupied, and it was certainly educational.

He watched the quiet movement of the crowd flow and shift, in a logical and ordered manner.  Vulcans walked in straight lines, that was interesting.  They looked up, lined up their destination, and headed for it.  Only if there was cross-traffic, of the pedestrian variety, did they slow or deviate, just enough to avoid contact, then resume their course.

He attracted a few surreptitious glances, but he was mostly ignored.  He felt a sense of relief at this, and started to realise that to ignore someone can be a form of courtesy.

He sat down and waited for his shuttle transport to arrive, and watched as a vessel arrived and the passengers disembarked.   He watched the reactions of the Vulcans greeting long-unseen family members, and noticed something odd.  They were touching each other, their hands seemingly reaching up of their own accord, as though they could not help it, to touch a wrist, an arm, sometimes even to touch fingers.  After they did this, some would blush green and then glance about them to see if anyone had been watching.

No-one kissed.  Not one.   But they all touched hands.  The older, wiser ones, made it look accidental, brushing their fingers together tenderly as they reached to help with hand luggage, standing close and letting their bodies brush together lightly.  The ones they touched so, would let their eyes shine briefly with that I’m-not-smiling look that Jim had seen a thousand times.

Jim frowned.   He had seen this before, this behaviour.  He just hadn’t realised…. he thought about it carefully.  He had been in spaceports in many places.  On Earth, it was a place of high emotions… people hugged and kissed each other, cried uncontrollably, and called out each other’s names in delight.  So this was the Vulcan equivalent of that.  So that meant, when Spock accidentally brushed against him, when he took his hand and asked quietly if Jim were injured, or helped lift him up out of danger, or just reached down and pulled him up off the floor, their hands clasped together…. Jim blinked.

His Vulcan was not bad, and he listened to a conversation between two Vulcan women who sat beside him, “Did you see Sokal?”

“Yes.  It was rare that I did not see him.”

“Ah, so he is willing to go ahead with the marriage?”

“That was my impression on my arrival, and he confirmed it with his words.  He has expressed a willingness to relocate to Earth if I wish to pursue my work there.”

“He is a most considerate mate.  You will find your union prosperous.”

“I believe so.  I also believe….” And here the young woman looked around to ensure that they had privacy.  She glanced at Jim, but evidently decided that the blonde human was not likely to understand Vulcan, even if his poor human hearing could distinguish what she said, “…. that he was genuinely pleased to have my company.  He was always at my side.”

“Ah, that is most indicative that his affection is genuine.  You are indeed fortunate, T’Lor.”

They were doing that smiling-with-their-eyes thing.

Jim’s mind was racing, and he was realising who was always at his side.  Most indicative that his affection is genuine, eh? He thought quietly about that, and watched some of the Vulcan males interacting in the space port.  He realised something.  Vulcan males have enormous personal spaces: much bigger than do human males.  He watched several Vulcan males talking to one another: they stood about seven feet away from each other.  I guess, thought Jim, that has something to do with their hearing being so good?  Then he realised that in the thinner air on Vulcan, their hearing advantage would be lost, so that would not explain their tendency to stand back from each other.  Eventually, after observing quite a few Vulcan males interacting, he realised that Spock normally stood much closer than that to Jim.  “He’s practically snuggling up to me” murmured Jim to himself….

So when JIm arrived back on the Enterprise three days later, when he stepped down from the transporter and Spock was there, Jim was watching his hands, not his face, so this time he did not miss the abortive lift of Spock’s hand towards him as he stepped off the transporter pad and walked over to his first officer.   He did not miss that Spock, as he turned for the door, placed himself approximately thirty-five centimetres behind his Captain’s shoulder and stayed there for the next fifteen minutes as Kirk took a turn around the ship.

He arrived at his cabin, smiled, “come in” to Spock and led the way in.  He turned around after the doors closed, pursed his lips, and said, “I missed your company, Spock,” and reached out and pressed the Vulcan’s hand briefly in his.   Spock looked surprised and blushed furiously, then calmed himself and said, “As I did yours, Jim.”  He swallowed and closed his eyes briefly, then opened them as Jim gently allowed his fingers to trail along Spock’s hand as he released it.  Jim turned, allowing his body to brush accidentally against his first officer as he did so, and went to put his bag away.  Spock reached for his bag, his fingers accidentally brushing along Jim’s as he did so, and took the bag and lifted it onto the desk, ready to unpack later.  He would not look at Jim, and he seemed to lose his train of thought as he said, “I’ll um… I will….”

Spock was trying to say he would see his Captain on the bridge, but the words eluded him and he turned and fled the cabin.  The door swished shut.

Jim smiled, and said belatedly, “Dismissed.”

On the bridge, during the remainder of their shift, the Vulcan was all business and avoided looking at him.  Then in the turbo lift Jim realised why: Spock’s eyes when he did finally meet Jim’s were… well, just adorable.  The Vulcan looked at him like he had invented warp drive, pancakes and Pon Farr.  Of course Spock could not have looked at him on the bridge… if he had, the whole bridge crew would have seen that look, and known….  Jim smiled.  Before the lift doors opened, Jim reached out to brush Spock’s hand with his, and said softly, “Come with me.”

Spock followed him to his cabin, and when Jim turned and put the privacy lock on after they had entered, he did not question it.  And when the Captain stopped and turned, and took one of Spock’s hands in both of his, and lifted it to his lips and gently massaged it and kissed it, Spock’s knees sagged slightly before he realised and straightened himself back up, “Jim….”

“Spock, I’m so sorry.  I had no idea… until…. Vulcan was very educational.”

The Vulcan was speechless, his lips parted, his other hand drawn inexorably to Jim’s.  He shivered and stared at Jim, his breathing irregular and shaky.  His whole body was trembling, and Jim thought to himself, damn, if I had known before how to get him to react like this…. he took the Vulcan carefully, gently, in his arms, and Spock’s eyes were squeezed tight shut, as he ducked his head down and shyly tucked it into Jim’s neck.   Jim stroked the black glossy hair, and whispered, “Shhh.”

Breathe, thought Spock, remember to breathe… what has changed?  What happened on Vulcan?  Why is his…. oh, Surak, he feels so good, this feels so right… please do not let me have learned to dream….

“Spock?” whispered the human softly.

He means me.  That is my name.  But why is he saying it?  What needs to be said?


“Will you stay the night?”

This time Spock really forgot that he needed to breathe.  He didn’t forget how to do it, just that he had to do it.  Jim felt the stillness, and after a while, prompted, “Hey… breathe.”

Spock shuddered and whispered, “… Yes.”

Jim smiled, “What, to staying or breathing?”

“Yes.  Both.”

Jim stroked the glossy black hair, and said, “Spock, I had no idea….I had no idea that you were interested too.”


“As much as I was.”

“You were?  You are… I mean, obviously you are, but I had not realised it….” Spock stopped and looked confused.

“My God, you were in the same boat I was.”


Jim chuckled, “Boat.  It’s a saying.”

“Oh,” Spock managed a smile, but his smile was still tempered by shyness.

Jim pushed back slightly and held the Vulcan’s shoulders.  When had Spock pressed his body against Jim, so that it was insinuated into every contour of his Captain’s body?  When had he slipped those strong arms around Jim?  When had he developed… Jim looked into Spock’s eyes, and the Vulcan slowly blushed deep green and looked away.  Jim murmured, “Has it ever struck you that it might be illogical to deny the obvious, Spock?”

Spock closed his eyes, “I do not deny it, Captain.”


“I merely find it… embarrassing.”

“I find it…. tantalizing.  Fascinating.  Arousing,” he pressed himself against the subject of their conversation, the rock-hard arousal of the Vulcan, and Spock breathed in once, deeply, then pressed back, and closed his eyes, sighed and tilted his head back….

Jim reached up and kissed the exposed neck gently, causing Spock to open his mouth a little and gasp slightly.  Another shiver went through the Vulcan, and Jim felt strong Vulcan arms tighten around him like a boa, and the lean body tilt back to press his erection firmly against Jim.  Spock seemed to have gotten over his embarrassment pretty quickly, and his hand was sneaking around and finding Jim’s corresponding hardness….

“Oh, God… Spock…” murmured Jim, and the Vulcan looked pleased with himself, and began to gently rub along Jim’s erection.  It was Jim’s turn to open his mouth slightly and shudder with pleasure… he murmured, “I don’t want to rush you….”

Five minutes later Jim was howling out Spock’s name as the Vulcan’s body pumped repeatedly into his…. and then Spock was reaching out a slim alien hand to ask for the mind-meld, and an unsure human was nodding his assent, and then Jim was lost in the numbers for a while, before Spock found his Katra meandering aimlessly about in the wrong place in the Vulcan’s mind, and said, here, come here….


There, right there…

Ohhhhhh, so that’s where you keep the feelings hidden…..

Not from you…. not any more…..

And Jim was wandering around the magical place, and in his mind looking at Spock with those wonderfully expressive human eyes shining with delight…. And thus it was that, the first time he climaxed under the Vulcan, was the very same moment that he realised for the first time that Spock was deeply in love with him….

The next day on the bridge, he was not even game to look at Spock, because he was pretty sure that the whole bridge crew would know instantly if he did, how he felt about his first officer… but he was a little stiff and sore from the hours of lovemaking that they had ended up indulging in….

“Something wrong, Captain?” the voice was cool.

“A kink, in my back, oh….”


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