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AN: Written for ksadvent

Disclaimer:Only the fic is mine

Spock sat on an observation deck looking at the stars as they streaked by, the Enterprise was currently on its way to Earth to collect supplies for New Vulcan and to allow the crew to enjoy shore leave and Christmas with their families. The holiday was one month away and deep down Spock admitted it was an enjoyable holiday and this Christmas he was planning an event that would forever change his life and that of his boyfriend's. He planned to propose to Jim.

Spock sometimes found it hard to believe how his life had changed in ten years; the worst was the destruction of Vulcan and the death of his mother Amanda Grayson.

Jim had also lost someone special his husband, Gary Mitchell who had been a first officer on the Farragut, Spock remembered how he had learned that they had been on Earth after the death of Nero and Spock had been on his way to his quarters at the academy after his talk with his elder counterpart and saw Jim and his friend Doctor McCoy on a bench they had realized he was there and Jim jumped up.

Spock saw the bruises on Jim's neck and he had felt guilt and his remaining anger but his father's words came to him, "You committed the first crime by what you said about his father." As time went on, Spock realized how cruel he had been he had been livid by how Jim had altered the test he was giving and had behaved in a totally un-Vulcan manner; he had been no better than the bullies from his childhood.

Jim had hurried away and McCoy had glared, "You've done more than enough; he doesn't need any crap from you; he lost his husband today."

After McCoy had left, Spock had gone to the nearest computer and brought up the rest of Jim's file and saw the notice about the death of a man named Gary Mitchell. He had sighed. There was no way he and this Jim could ever have the friendship his counterpart had told him of. But Command had assigned him as Jim's first officer, Jim had been livid.

"I'm not serving with that piece of shit!"

Spock heard Jim yell that when he'd come onto the observation deck and Pike's voice, "I'm sorry son my hands are tied."

They had served together one year before he had found a way to apologize to Jim it had been during a time they were stranded on a planet and were huddling together for warmth and Spock had spoken.

"Captain, I committed a grave wrong I was so cruel for how I mentioned your father at your trail in front of everyone I stomped on his memory and no matter how illogical it is, I wish I could take it back."

Jim had looked at him like he was losing his mind. "Spock, you're freezing and delirious."

"No, Captain, I mean it."

But Jim hadn't believed him; it took months afterwards, but in the second year of the mission Jim had finally forgiven him "I'm sorry for what I said about your mother."

"I forgave you a long time ago, you were instigated by my counterpart and never would've done it otherwise. You have better honor than I had, thank you Captain."

Jim's blue eyes had lit up in a way Spock had never seen but liked very much. "My friends call me Jim."

That night had been a turning point and a friendship had formed it had come out full force five months after, when Spock and Nyota Uhura had been put on trial when everyone believed they'd been involved at the academy. Their romantic relationship had started three months after his posting to the Enterprise, but eight months later it had ended when both realized there was nothing really there.

It had been a scandalous trial and both were nearly dishonorably discharged from Starfleet but the Admirals had gotten a Betazoid to probe their minds. It had been made clear they hadn't started dated until after the destruction of Vulcan but the tape of Uhura kissing him in the turbolift while trying to comfort him while he was grieving after the destruction of Vulcan was the heart of the case.

Jim had pleaded for them to be allowed to remain in Starfleet and on the Enterprise, citing their record and how they had both conducted themselves since then. Sarek, Spock's father, had worked out a deal, Nyota had to publicly apologize for kissing Spock since he'd still been technically a teacher at the time, Spock was required to say he hadn't been in his right frame of mind at the time which was essentially the truth and should've pushed her away.

Spock also had to agree to give up his right to teach at the academy or anywhere else. He'd never be allowed to teach anywhere. In exchange they wouldn't be demoted or thrown out of Starfleet.

Spock and Uhura had agreed to those terms but their friendship was frosty for quite a few years after.

Spock returned to the present as Nyota came onto the observation deck, he was glad they had managed to become friends again. "Greetings, Nyota, I've come to a major decision."

"And that is?"

"I'm going to propose to Jim on Christmas day."

Nyota let out a happy cry, "That's great Spock."

"Years ago you never would've said that."

"Ten years is a long time, Spock. Jim Kirk has turned into a man to be proud of, and of course there is how he fought for us at our trial."

"I know, Nyota, Father has given his blessing and I'm going to follow human custom and visit Jim's mother." Nyota's face fell, "Spock everybody in the universe knows Winona Kirk hates your guts."

Spock gave an inner shudder as he remembered that first meeting, five months after the Enterprise had set out on her maiden voyage, Winona Kirk was on New Vulcan and had just been promoted to admiral, and he remembered how her eyes had lit up when she saw Jim but decorum had to be followed.

Later that night he had gone into the arboretum as was his nightly ritual, Jim and Winona had been walking arm in arm, and they stopped when Winona had caught sight of him. "You fucking alien piece of shit, you deserve to be thrown out into space for what you said about my dear husband!"

"Ma'am I..."

"Fuck you!"

She had released Jim and stalked out of the room leaving Spock and Jim alone.

"She won't do it, probably. She knows I'd be required as Captain to make an official complaint."

"And what about just before?" Spock asked.

"She's totally right about you, Commander."

Jim had then walked off before Spock could formulate a reply.

Spock looked at Uhura as the memory faded, "I know, Nyota and I don't blame her but she and Jim are so close with George Kirk dying when Jim was born and Jim's brother Sam murdered on Tarsus when Jim was ten living with his mother on Earth I want Jim to know I care about his mother I don't want him to face having to choose between us."

"He wouldn't choose between you two he'd find a way to get you both to declare a truce however fragile."

"I know what I'm getting into Nyota."

"Good luck you'll need it."

The next day while Jim was preoccupied with high level meetings Spock went to see Winona Kirk who was rapidly becoming an influential admiral her brown eyes were hard. "All right, you piece of alien shit, I agreed to see you what do you want?"

Spock absorbed the hurtful words and stood up straight "Admiral Kirk, I love Jim and I know we are soul mates; I want to propose to him Christmas day."

A look of disgust came on her face "I can't believe you brainwashed him into loving you. He was grieving for Gary, and how could he truly love the man who stomped on his beloved father's memory?"

"Admiral, I sincerely regret that I allowed my anger at his beating my test..."

"Yes, you were an angry teacher, your ass should've been thrown out of Starfleet along with that African bitch."

"Admiral, I can prove my feelings have you ever heard of a mind meld?"

"Of course I have."

"Then take a gamble as the human expression goes and let me initiate one, then if you don't believe me, I'll give up trying to win you're approval, and you never demand that Jim has to choose between us and that you'll never interfere, actions speak louder than words I believe."

He could see briefly in her eyes that she was impressed and he let her mull over her thoughts. Then she stood and came in front of him. "All right, commander I'm game".

He gently pressed his fingers to her temple, "my mind to your mind my thoughts to your thoughts."

What felt like moments late Winona Kirk pulled away breathing hard, Spock gently helped her seat on the couch. "It is exhausting for a non-Vulcan; you shall feel normal in moments."

Soon she did and she looked up, "I need to think about all this."

Spock nodded; "I shall give you that time."

A day later Spock was in his quarters meditating when the comm chirped and Nyota's voice, "Admiral Kirk wants to speak to you."

"Patch her through Nyota."

Spock turned on the screen and Winona Kirk's face filled the screen, "You come from an intense species, I don't forgive you just yet, but I'll be willing to try as time goes by, make my son happy as hell or you'll answer to me."

Spock felt his heart soar, "You have my promise, Admiral Kirk."

"Ms. Kirk for now, Commander."


An hour later Jim came into his quarters looking puzzled but happy, "I just spoke to mom and she said she's willing to give you a chance, how'd you win her over?"

"I did a light mind meld and showed her my feelings and let her see my love and regret for my past actions."

Jim put his arms around him. "I'm glad two of my favorite people in the universe are starting to get along."

"I am as well Thyla."

Later as they slept, Spock thought to how he realized he was in love with Jim, it had been the fifth anniversary of Vulcan's destruction and the Enterprise was due back to Earth since their five year mission was nearly over and he'd found Jim on the observation deck.

He knew Jim had been crying as his eyes were red rimmed, Starfleet had required Spock to go for counseling and the therapist had told him if he'd ever felt emotion coming to the surface go to a gym and use a punching bag.

"Forgive me Jim, I should've realized all these years how much you always hurt during this day too."

"Spock, you lost your entire planet."

"And you lost your husband Jim, I wish I'd realized your pain sooner and comforted you as you've always been there for me."

He had embraced Jim as sobs racked his body and slowly over a period of weeks Jim opened up about Gary Mitchell and Spock wished he could've had the opportunity to know him. Then two months later his Pon Farr had hit and Jim had helped him since his intended was dead.

But they hadn't permanently bonded; only a healer could do that and Jim wanted to go slow. Jim's words came to him, "Even though our counterparts had something doesn't mean it will be that way in every reality."

Spock had to admit Jim was a very logical man.

Christmas Day

Jim was confused as Spock led him into the arboretum next to the window, "Spock, we're due at..." He trailed of as Spock went to one knee and produced a gold band.

"Jim, I've come to realize a long time ago how much you mean to me and I know I never want to be without you, I'm not just saying this because my next Pon Farr is in two years, I love you and never want to be without you. I want to bond with you and also do this in the ways of your human species. Tears glistened in Spock's eyes as he let his emotions show, "James Tiberius Kirk, will you marry me?"

Jim gasped, then embraced him, nearly knocking them to the ground, "Damn right I will!"

Hours later in the Kirk farmhouse in Iowa, Winona Kirk smiled the Vulcan she once loathed, "I got to admit you know how to do a proposal."

And Spock knew he would do everything possible not to disappoint either Kirk.

He smiled at Jim, "Merry Christmas, T'hy'la."

Jim smiled back, "Merry Christmas, Spock."

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