M - O - T - H - E - R
"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold;
"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
"R" means right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER,"
A word that means the world to me.
Howard Johnson (c. 1915)
A Spelling Exercise (Sung by Jim)
T is for the way you tweak my nipples,
U is for the way you use my ass.
R is for your splendid double-ridges,
G is for the times we fucked on grass.
I is for internal stimulation,
D is for the dominance you give.
Put them all together, they spell t-u-r-g-i-d,
And that is why with you I’ll always live.