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When I meet him

For the first time

My hands, my fingers




And tremble


I need

To touch


So immediate

This burn


I hide them

Clasp them behind my back

So he won’t see

So he won’t know


If I am to serve on this ship

Can my Captain

Doubt my control?


I am Vulcan

I am in control

I will not falter


will rely

on me


I will not




time passes, he grows impatient with me

“Dammit, Spock, at ease already!”



In my room

Before the flame


I practice control

Visualize those eyes,

That tameless hair




Confident now

I force arms and hands

To hang tensionless


Most of the time


But still

Beside him

in reach


I casually

Behind my back

Clasp together

My hands

Chapter End Notes:

Dedicated to Dahliaxat - since I don't usually do poetry and am pretty sure her recent posts were what prompted me to throw this one down.  Feedback please!

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