Another partial/inspired by Response to the 'Words Can Hurt But Doctors Can Heal' Challenge - Hope it's Loving, Hot, Affectionate and Sweet!
Silence, Talk, And Actions
“You listen to me, Spock!” McCoy did not yell, but did not back down. “I don’t care what you saw the other Jim up to in that alternate universe… I really don’t. In this universe, in this thread of the tapestry, the bigger picture, whatever the Heck that is, James Tiberius Kirk is what people from my planet have labelled Gay. Unequivocally. Whatever factors make it a part of someone’s genetic make up, or brain chemistry, or whatever – He’s got the medical read outs to prove he’s the genuine article. He IS gay.”
Spock stood there. “You do not understand, Doctor.”
“Don’t tell me that; I’m literally qualified, more than most, to know exactly that, especially when it is as evident as it is with Jim! And, by the way, he really does love you, and you’ve just thrown that back in his face!” McCoy verbally spat.
“I am protecting Jim.” Spock confided.
“Yeah, and yourself, truth be told!” McCoy did not back down.
“I am not a coward, Doctor McCoy.” Spock ‘retorted’.
“Never even entertained the idea, until now!” Leonard H. McCoy replied. “What would prove that his love is genuine?” McCoy stepped up again. “If I told you that you mean so much to him, so very much, that our good friend, who is as good at hiding his emotions as are you, is in such a state at the thought that you do not believe him, do not trust him anymore, as you always have previously, that he broke down completely in his quarters, in front of me, this afternoon..? If I were to tell you that he now believes that because he allowed himself to be happy for five minutes, he is no longer fit to be Captain – Kind of like you believe you are not fit to be called a Vulcan??”
“It is not that. I am not that insecure – Not anymore. Not since Jim and I…” Spock was almost lost for words to explain.
“Then, what?” McCoy interjected.
Spock actually sighed.
McCoy was almost caught off guard. He stared at Spock.
“I suppose I would have had to confide this to you anyhow.” He paused. “I believe I will soon be going through Pon Farr.”
McCoy glared in silent yet unmistakable comprehension.
“It can become very vigorous.” Spock said quickly, as if the words, his admittance, were truly distasteful. “Jim is a very strong man; yet he is also the most precious soul I can think of. I ‘simply’ do not wish to risk harming him in any reprehensibly unforgivable way…” Spock paused, clearly saddened, not, perhaps, unable to any longer, make an effort to hide the fact; the emotion he felt.
“You have to talk to him about it, Spock. You simply must. Please.” McCoy dared to touch Spock’s forearm. “For both your sakes.”
Spock leant back on the wall directly behind him in his quarters. He looked to McCoy. “Yes. I realise that, now more than ever. I just couldn’t articulate it before… I admit to fear that, should a mind meld to explain myself become necessary, Jim would be at risk from the strength of my desire, doubled in frustration, because of being pent up. Even if I still managed to hold it back, as is right and moral, then, I was worried; I still am somewhat, that seeing the truth of what, if delirium truly sets in, it can become, he would be disgusted with me; even more deeply disgusted than if he ‘just’ believed I no longer wanted to be in a relationship with him; and that, because of the depth of that disgust, he would banish me from his life so entirely, I never would be at all near him again…” As Spock spoke, silent tears flowed down his cheeks.
“Talk to him!” McCoy implored. “I’ll take you to his quarters now. I’ll chaperone you.” McCoy promised. He reached out, and touched one of Spock’s shoulders, very lightly. “Talk to him. He needs you, and you need him.”
“Jim…” McCoy spoke gently, as he stood beside Jim’s bed in his quarters. “Jim… Wake up, you sweet heart…” McCoy coaxed with the utmost tender care. “It’s okay… I think we might be able to fix this, my friend.” He said, as Jim’s eyes fluttered open from his sleep. He bent down to further look into Jim’s eyes. “Spock’s in your living room.”
“Bones…” Jim began warily.
“It’s okay. You and he got yourself all in a muddle. He’s going to let me stay here with you both while he talks to you about it. He’s that willing to explain, to say sorry. He truly did not mean to cause you all this pain…”
Jim warily sat up, clasping McCoy’s hand.
McCoy, Doctor and friend, helped Jim out of bed, and to his feet, which were bare. He held supportively, protectively on to his still vulnerable, still rather exhausted friend.
His hand gratefully in McCoy’s helpful hand, his friend close to his side, Jim padded through to his living room, noting as Leonard exchanged glances with Spock, who looked quite terrible, too.
McCoy helped Jim gradually to his seat, opposite Spock. The Doctor sat next to Jim. Leonard looked from Jim, his dearest friend, to someone he had also come to care about, as a good man, and a valued friend. “Tell him the truth, Spock. I suspect it will make you both feel better, and lead to a happier ending…”
Spock’s gaze moved from McCoy to Jim, and he took a deep breath.
..As Spock began to speak, Jim’s undeniable, un-hideable, overwhelming grief and fear, fell away – Giving way to the return of such empathy, such understanding, and unshakable love. In all this, his love for Spock had never been the element that was shaking so much, it had, temporarily, (thank the Lord!) left him a quaking mess… “It doesn’t matter, Spock. We’ll figure it out. Our best friend’s a Doctor! He smiled at McCoy, still at his side. “I love you…”
Spock looked to Jim, and crossed the room, kneeling before him, and choosing to ignore McCoy’s proximity, and any embarrassment he and the Doctor might feel at this. “I love you with all my soul, T’hy’la… And I want you to know, my Ashaya,” He held so lovingly on to Jim’s hands. “that I have always been able to tell that you love me with all of your soul.” Spock had eyes only for Jim as he spoke with him, his beloved.
Jim, too, of course, only had eyes for Spock. He smiled, and cried, yet again overwhelmed. This time with joy, joy and such grateful, giddying relief.
Spock pulled Jim into a remarkable gentle embrace, and up to stand, moving in to the middle of the room with him. They hugged, and kissed, and held on, utterly in awe of one another.
McCoy reached for the medical tricorder he had brought with him. He ran it over Spock with great scrutiny. And then again, with equal scrutiny over Jim. That done, he quietly got up, and silently left the room, but not before he said “Given the situation, you’ll forgive me if I keep a close eye on you two, with comm. Check-ins. I’ll be back with some bio-monitors, very soon.” There was nothing more to be said right now. He just had to get them both through this Vulcan thing safely.