What Is Love?
What is love?
It was a question that for most of his life he had no answer. Love wasn't what he saw in his mother's eyes; not in the eyes of his various stepfathers; not in the eyes of teachers, friends or his many flings. Love was not something that James Tiberius Kirk could define. If he gave it much thought, he might have supposed that love was what his father felt; what gave him the courage to ram that Romulan ship so long ago. But he didn't give it much thought. Not really.
What is love?
Love, he decided much later, was nothing but agony and hearbreak as he stared into the tortured eyes of the Vulcan strangling him to death on the bridge of the Enterprise. Long fingers digging into his trachea, denying him air and speech. Love was the slightly horrified voice of another Vulcan, a simple name snapped into the air but holding more power than he could ever hope to command. Love was the shared look between Father and son lasting but an instant yet still holding unspeakable pain.
What is love?
Could it be this? Warmth and acceptance; a gentle touch, the ghost of a whisper? The feeling of loss that pulled him from sweat drenched dreams. The pounding of his heart, shaking hands and the feeling of something just behond his reach? Memories that weren't his coursing through his mind, colored by something he couldn't clearly define.
What is love?
Chess games that's what he called them. The reality was strategy sessions, quiet conversations about routine matters. Sometimes they might share a few personal tidbits; but more times not. Sometimes the chess board went untouched as they worked in silent companionship on reports and schedules, evaluations and commendations. And the condolences; far too many, far too often.
What is love?
Strong hands pulling him to safety. Strong arms offering him comfort. Strong shoulders helping him to bear the burdens when his own strength was not enough. Quiet support always within reach. Dark eyes that laughed with hidden humor at his jokes. A steady voice that brought him wisdom. A friend when he didn't know he needed one.
What is love?
Finally he knew the answer. Love was the hot desert sands, the sound of chimes and slow measured footsteps, the rustle of heavy silk robes. Love was softly spoken, barely heard words and gentle touch of long slender fingers to cheek and temple. Love was ....
Letting the best part of yourself go; gently, silently. Standing at his side, forever. Always his friend. His support. His Captain. And the best man at his wedding.
That.... was love.
Story Notes:
I take no responsibility for this one. My muse neck pinched me, took over the keyboard and pounded this out. Don't worry, I have subdued the muse and punished him severely.