The Warmth Of Love’s Heat Is No Fleeting Fever
Spock tentatively pressed the button that would ‘announce’ his presence outside Jim Kirk’s quarters.
“Come in…” Kirk invited.
The door ‘swooshed’ back, and Spock stood, awaiting a further invite; unsure that he would receive it.
“You can come in here, Spock…” Jim said gently.
“Thank you…” Spock replied, and entered. The door shut behind him.
Jim looked at him. “I’m fine; I promise you that.”
Spock stood there awkwardly for a moment, and then, decided that the Vulcan approach had done enough damage for one day. “I had thought that I would never be able to do this, spend time with you, again…”
“You can!” Jim smiled, trying to assure Spock. He got to his feet, and dared to touch his friend’s shoulder. “All is well, Spock…”
“For all intents and purposes, I killed you – So, how can it be!?” Spock allowed himself to ponder this aloud.
“You did not do that… You were under the influence of such extreme body chemistry that it became a mind altering drug, my friend. Your mind was altered for you, against your will. It was, quite literally, not you who did those things. I KNOW this; it is not something that I ‘just’ tell myself. ” Jim said certainly, praying that Spock would come to KNOW all of this, too.
I never want to go through that again!” Spock spoke honestly.
“I do not believe you will ever have to. It will never get that extreme again.” Jim hoped he was right.
“I hope not.” Spock admitted.
“Sit down, Spock?” Jim offered, moving to his sofa.
Spock looked to Jim. “I don’t want you to have to go through it again either, or anyone else I may harm, but especially not you…”
Jim guided Spock into sitting on his sofa, and sat beside his friend, turning to face him. Yet again, he dared to touch Spock, because he knew it was what Spock, in these special circumstances, needed; putting his hand gently on Spock’s knee, he said. “Spock, none of it was your fault, and I swear to you that you are worthy of being trusted. You have my trust. Totally.”
Spock dared to reach out and touch Jim again, to hold his hand, “This simple feeling is not so simple, and yet, it is.”
“I know, Spock. I love you, too.” Jim confided.
“After the brutality of our fight, how can you?” Spock asked.
“It was a fight I entered into willingly, and it was just as brutal, if not more so, on you. It was a fight I had to be a part of, to bring you through it safely…” Jim explained.
But you yourself were not safe…” Spock recalled his hand, ashamedly.
Jim retook Spock’s hand warmly, gently. “Yes. I was! I knew that going in, Spock… I promise you!”
Spock looked to his friend, the man he loved, and was so in love with. One tear rolled down his face. Spock did not care, enough to stop it, that it was not Vulcan to let that tear be seen.
Jim took Spock, wordlessly, into his embrace, and let Spock lean on him.
“T’hy’la…” Spock called.
“I am here…” Jim noted, surrounding Spock with his love, sitting and quietly being with Spock, as each man allowed themselves to be loved, allowed it of themselves for what may be the first time in the entirety of their lives so far. “I am here, Spock; I promise you!” Jim repeated.