Star Trek: In That Moment
Mirror of My Soul (Episode: The Empath)
Spock was surprised by little, but the feather touch to his shoulder took him completely off guard. Gem had been a void in the space around them until this moment. As a born and fully functioning empathy, her shields were innate and impenetrable. Spock had detected no thought and no emotion from her since their meeting.
He looked up into her small soft face, her dark eyes huge against her pale skin. She looked back. She did not look at him. She looked into him, and her eyes became a mirror to his soul. He saw in their depths what was inside himself. His love for Jim. His affection for McCoy. The abyss of his own loneliness. And despair.
The Vions had given Kirk an ultimatum, a choice he could not make, so he made the only one possible. He would sacrifice himself. Spock had known his decision even as he made it, and Spock had made his own in the same moment. He would not lose his captain, his friend, his T’hy'la.
McCoy had made it easy, giving Kirk a hypo under the guise of wanting him to rest. Now, at least, Spock was spared the agonizing moment in which he would be forced to countermand Kirk; the moment he would have to look in those hazel eyes and see the embattled soul of the man he loved bleeding—dying—knowing Spock would never return to him, and it he did, he would not be whole.
Yes, McCoy had spared him that. God bless him. He had a head of iron, but a heart of gold. Spock would be equally sad to leave him behind, but glad that at least Kirk would have someone to turn to in the horrible grief that would follow Spock’s absence.
Gem’s lips curved up slowly in a sad, sad smile, her eyes brimming with the grief in Spock’s own heart. It was a pain her instincts told her to heal, to take into herself and lessen for him; but something in his eyes begged her to leave it behind. It was the price he paid for love—these moments of unendurable agony—and he would give up neither. She moved her head just a fraction in acknowledgment, and her hand lifted away, as lightly as it had come.