Before the older Spock told him what the hell was happening, he had no idea that that was how Vulcans kissed. Really, he’d just thought that it was a comforting gesture. How was he supposed to know that Spock would take it as a sign of courting?
Of course after he knew it was a bit awkward for a few weeks. He wasn’t sure if that was what he really wanted, and he had no idea of how to tell Spock that. Kirk liked his ladies; he liked his one-night stands. Was he really ready to give that up, for a man?
It was one evening over chess that he decided. Yes. He did want to give that up. Nameless women and nights he could barely remember; they didn’t mean anything to him anymore. It wasn’t what he wanted.
He wanted something that would last. He wanted someone who would be there for him when he was at his worst, best, and all of it in between. He wanted someone who understood him and knew exactly where he was coming from. He wanted someone who wasn’t afraid to tell him when he was being an idiot. Someone who could tell him no.
He wanted Spock.
Their relationship was still new to them. Though it was easy to begin, it sometimes wasn’t as easy to keep going. They didn’t fight often, but when they did, it was like a bomb going off. Kirk always yelled when he was upset. This was nothing new. But Spock didn’t. He never raised his voice. Except when it concerned Jim.
It was truly a sight, the normally reserved Vulcan exploding in anger in a n instant. It was powerful and scary. In fact it was the first time that Jim actually got stunned into silence. He could nothing but stare at his first officer. Spock’s glare was plain on his face. The fight slipped out of Jim in an instant.
“I’m sorry. Spock, please, I’m sorry.” Slowly, as if approaching a wild animal—which he may very well have—Jim took a step towards Spock. He held out his hand and hesitantly curled three fingers in, leaving out his pointer and middle finger. He looked scared that the Vulcan would refuse the gesture. Jim would be completely crushed if he did.
Two warm fingers curled around his. The storm behind the Vulcan’s eyes was still there, but the anger had, thankfully, left his face. Spock pulled him close and leaned forward to touch their foreheads together.
“As am I, T’hy’la. As am I.”
It shouldn’t have even happened. As Captain, Jim shouldn’t have even been on that planet in the first place. Security breaches were for security to take care of, not the Captain. But Jim didn’t believe in no-win scenarios, he also didn’t believe in letting others fight his battles for him. For some this was idiocy. For Jim Kirk, it was nature.
It wasn’t even the fighting that had landed him in the Sickbay. No, the fighting had been done and settled, but then the creatures had come out. No one could really say what they looked like for sure; it had been such a blur.
No one that is, except Jim. Jim, who was the only one to get up close and personal with one of the things, and not in the good way. The Captain had been down and bloody before anyone even knew the creature was there. Thank gods for Scotty’s quick beaming skills.
And the crazy genius had beamed them straight to Sickbay. Spock would have to remember to add that to his list of commendations for the engineer.
McCoy had made quick work of the Captain. The sight was one of horror. Blood smeared everywhere and flowing easily from a large gash on Jim’s leg, his shirt was torn to shreds as was his chest. He was pale white—like a ghost—and it was all Spock could do to not break down right there. He kept telling himself that Jim had been through worst, Jim would get through it, McCoy is the best damned doctor in the Fleet.
“Damn it Spock! Get out of my Sickbay before you pass out! I can’t take care of Jim if you’re standing there blubbering all over him!” The gruff doctor pushed him out of the room and rushed back to tend to Jim’s injuries
Apparently, he was worse at masking his emotions that he had originally thought.
When Jim woke, it was gradual; a slow realization that he wasn’t in heaven, that was just the nauseatingly white ceiling of his beloved Enterprise. The next thing he was aware of was the hand that gently held his own. The touch was so soft he wouldn’t have know it was there, were it not for the inhuman heat and gentle telepathic hum that emanated from that hand.
Blue eyes flicked down to the crown of ebony the rested on the side of the biobed.
“Shouldn’t you be taking care of my ship Mr. Spock?” He had to grin—or at least try to—as his first officer’s head snapped up like a guilty child getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
“Jim.” It was truly amazing how much emotion could be put into one single word. Even more amazing when it was a Vulcan who said it.
Jim shifted in the bed. Those things had never been comfortable for long. He looked about for something. Feeling his need through their touch Spock got up to hand him the glass of water on the desk across. Jim gave a pleased look and drank the water gratefully. He handed it back to Spock when he was done.
The Vulcan looked back at Jim after he set the glass down. He didn’t say anything for a moment, but his expression was alarmingly emotional, for a Vulcan. His eyebrows were drawn together, his lips in a tight line, small crinkles at the sides of his eyes. His dark eyes held the most concern of all.
“Jim. I…” he trailed off, not sure how to express his feelings; his worry, his devastation, his love.
Jim just smiled. He understood after all. Gathering the strength he could he lifted his hand. Without his usual misgivings for privacy, Spock’s hand quickly came and met his. Their forefingers fell into place and touched each other.
If this show of emotions from his first officer surprised Jim, he was really stunned when Bones told him how Spock had practically been crying ever his limp body for all the crew to see. Much to the embarrassment of said first officer. That’s okay. Jim would show him later how much he loved it when his Vulcan let his emotions show.
Jim hadn’t really been sure how things would go on New Vulcan. To be honest he was scared shitless of Sarek. What with the whole planet imploding thing and losing half your species and the need to repopulate. Jim didn’t think that the fact that his son was involved in a homosexual relationship that could bear no offspring would be very welcomed news to the Vulcan ambassador.
Boy was he shocked.
“I understand that you have entered into relations with my son.” Another no-nonsense Vulcan inference. How do you answer that?
Sarek nodded. “I see.” And that was that. Seriously. Weirdest meet-the-parent conversation ever.
Of course then Spock had to go and start holding his hand in front of the rest of the Vulcan race. He was pretty sure that the pointy-eared bastard was enjoying his little acts of scandal. Because that’s what it was; scandal.
Jim totally hit him when he found that out of course. No wonder the Vulcan elders had been staring at him like he’d just made out with Spock in the middle of the dining hall. Ha had.
Vulcan marriage ceremonies were fast. Like a band aid. Like a really fast, logical band aid. But the reception was nice. Well it was from Jim’s point of view. By about half way through it he had to go to Bones for a quick sobering hypo. It wouldn’t due to be shitfaced on his wedding night now would it? Not that he and Spock hadn’t already. Har har.
If he’d thought that Spock had been scandalous when they’d told Sarek, well that was nothing compared to the Vulcan’s daring right then. Course, maybe it didn’t really count as scandal since they were technically married.
Hmph. Either way he was making out with his husband in front of old wrinkly Vulcan elders who kept not-glaring at their clasped hands. How could he not be excited?
The Vulcan looked down at his lover, who had taken to curling up on his chest not ten minutes earlier, and it didn’t seem like he was going to move anytime soon.
“Did you ever wonder what it would be like if Nero hadn’t gone back in time?”
Spock was silent for a moment, expression unreadable. With careful conviction he looked down into the bright blue eyes of his T’hy’la.
“No. I do not. I am content with what has happened. Indeed, I believe I am… happy. I would not change it; therefore I see no reason to wonder how it could be different.”
Those blue eyes sparkled up at him, just like they did the first time they had met. That first time though, they had been sparking in anger and resentment and rebellion. Now though they were full of nothing but love and happiness and the smallest bit of amusement. Jim smiled and angled his head up until their lips met.
“Yeah. I love you too.”