Spock hadn’t thought they would be together forever. Uhura was still so young and immature despite her efforts to be otherwise. But he had thought that their relationship had the potential to flourish, to grow into something more.
But it was not meant to be.
Uhura didn’t understand him, didn’t understand why he didn’t want to become sexually active or meld with her.
She resented his unwillingness to become so intimate with her and he resented the fact that she was pressuring him. Things became rockier the longer they were on the Enterprise and the closer Spock became with its Captain Jim Kirk.
Spock could not help but be fascinated with the young man who had beat his test and gotten under his skin. His older counterpart’s words still lingered in his mind as he watched Jim flourish at his position as Captain.
Had he been human he would have been genuinely surprised at how well Jim had taken to the position.
It was like Jim was made for the job and he had been made to stand at his side.
Despite their rocky start they had fallen into sync almost seamlessly within the first few weeks of working together. Jim led with courage and wisdom, always with Spock a half step behind and ready to catch him should he falter.
It was synergy. Independently amazing. Together unstoppable.
Spock had found his place and despite all the tragedy and pain that had lead up to it, he was more content than he had ever been with himself.
Not because of his relationship with Uhura, but because of Jim.
It was Jim who talked him through the nights when the weight of the loss of his mother was heaviest and had asked the question that had changed Spock’s whole perception of himself.
“Why do you have to be just Human or Vulcan? Why not be the best of both?”
Only Jim ever looked at him from that perspective and didn’t judge him because of what he was, but who he was.
Jim made him……happy.
More than Uhura ever could.
But he still did care for her, at least enough to give them another shot.
So he allowed for her to plan a date night, a night dedicated to them together as a couple.
A night dedicated to only them.
Uhura set up a fine Vulcan dinner to be prepared on the observation deck, classical Terran music to play on their stereo, and a whole night with no interruptions.
All Spock had to do was show up.
But when the time came for him to make his way to the observation deck and meet her, he wasn’t there.
Instead he stood in the Captain’s quarters, Jim’s last sentence hanging in the air.
“Could you stay?”
Jim’s words had been little more than a whisper, a soft plea that went against his entire image of self-confidence and invincibility.
It had been a hard day for the Captain. He’d lost three men who were under his direct orders and Spock knew he felt immensely guilty about it. They were the first people to die during Jim’s captaincy.
It hadn’t been Jim’s fault and Spock had told him so, but Jim still bore the weight of their lives on his shoulders and it was a heavy burden for him.
So when he had ask that Spock stay, in that sad broken pleading voice that said he expected to be rejected, but he had to ask anyway. Spock couldn’t say no.
So instead he led Jim to his bed, surprised when Jim allowed himself to be led so easily, and laid the captain down atop it.
Jim watched him the whole time as Spock knelt down to remove his Captain’s boots and socks, his face emotionless.
Only a flicker of pain crossed Jim’s face when Spock stood up again and took a step back.
But Jim’s fear was unfounded. Spock merely took his own boots off and sat next to Jim atop the bed.
He laid an ever gentle hand on Jim’s face and brushed away a tear that had escaped Jim’s carefully guarded features.
“I will stay Jim.” He whispered.
Spock gently turned Jim onto his side and wrapped his arms around him.
He placed Jim’s face into the crook of his neck and held him close.
“I will always stay.” He promised the blonde.
Jim said nothing in return; he just pressed himself closer to Spock and wept quietly into the collar of his shirt.
Spock rubbed his back soothingly and muttered assurances into his ear.
He felt no guilt over missing his dinner date with Uhura.
His heart told him he was where he was supposed to be.
I’m debating making a Uhura redemption chapter. If enough people ask for it I will. I don’t specialize in Uhura pairings, but I’ll give it my best shot.