An Offer Made by SmuttyKitty
Summary: After "The Menagerie" Spock tries to win back Kirk's trust with a very particular offer.
Categories: Fiction Characters: None
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk/Spock Slash
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: None
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1899 Read: 7475 Published: 01/19/2006 Updated: 01/19/2006
The beginning.... by SmuttyKitty
Author's Notes:

Words like /this/ indicate telepathy.

Author's Note: This is only the second K/S piece I have ever written and it shows. I feel it is quite clunky and never really conveyed what I hoped it would. However, I wrote it so I figured it might as well get shared. I frequently enjoy reading people's "warm up" pieces so turnabout is fair play!

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Bones eyed up Kirk, then finished his whiskey. The evening had supposed to have been a nice drink to wind down after all of the excitement of Spock's court martial,but even two drinks later the edge hadn't been taken off the Captain's temper.

Even though he didn't have much to say on the topic, the doctor could sense it, thick, filling the air. His usual friendly demeanor, replaced with just a touch of ire and a closed face.

Bones stood up, left his glass on the desk, dropped a casual hand on his shoulder. He said his good night, and left. Leaving James Kirk contemplating his dark thoughts in peace.



The thing that bothered Kirk more about it all was that even though it had all turned out well, it hadn't for him. He had lost his most trusted officer and in many ways, his friend. There was a wall between them that he didn't know how to breach. Spock retreated as he always did, and if they took it the way they were supposed to, he would go and get him.

But not this time. He couldn't. And he didn't know why. He thought he was bigger than that. That because he understood the way it played out intellectually, that it shouldn't hurt him emotionally. But it did.

It stung him and mocked his ego. He had been so sure that Spock had been his loyal officer, and that he knew him so well.

He got up to go do something, the drinks with Bones had done nothing to relax his body or his mind. As he stood, he heard the door chime. Since the doctor had already been here he could only conclude it was Spock.

The captain let him in with a ghost of his normal grin. Spock stepped in the door a fraction and stood rigidly.

"What can I do for you?"Jim supplied as he turned back to his desk to perch on the edge.

"Captain,"the Vulcan started diffidently. "I have been meaning to inquire how you are? To employ a human method."

"I'm fine, Spock. Thank you for asking," he answered sedately.

"I am sorry to say that I do not agree with your assessment.・

"I don't think it's your job to worry about my well-being." The anymore seemed to attach itself unconsciously.

Spock walked about the room, in a seemingly aimless pattern, occasionally stopping to look at an object. Kirk was pretty certain it was a mannerism designed to set a human at ease. He could think of no reason why Spock would suddenly feel an urge to look at things he had seen a million times before. All the same, he let the other man gather his thoughts.

Spock suddenly stopped and faced the human. "I am sorry, Jim."

"I know."

"I did not enjoy deceiving you, nor did I enjoy taking your ship from you. I do understand how it may be unforgivable."

"Spock," Jim said and ran his fingers through his hair. "It isn't what you think. In many ways, I respect what you did. To risk everything for someone else, to exchange your life for his essentially. It's an admirable thing. But..."

He twitched his shoulders then abruptly got up and walked across the room.

"I do not understand." The Vulcan's face remained impassive, yet expressed his confusion and own emotion turmoil clearly.

"It's more about me than you. I thought I knew you, in some ways I prided myself for it. That Spock, the unknowable, the mysterious, was more than my subordinate or First Officer, but was my friend."

"I am your...friend. I do not wish that to change."

" No, Spock, it isn't about friendship. It's about pride, mine. I thought I knew you well, in a way I have known few others, and I didn't. I don't. I don't know you. There is this Spock here, who is loyal to me, my best officer. But there is another Spock, one who served for 11 years with Christopher Pike. The Vulcan Spock, the human Spock." He stopped speaking and waved his hand dismissively. "It is my problem, and as I said, it will pass."

"Captain. Jim. I do not want you to be troubled by this. My loyalty is to you. Going to Talos IV was the last thing I could do for Captain Pike. My duty to him is done. Now it all turns to you."

"You misunderstand. I don't doubt your loyalty to me, to the Enterprise. I just don't know you. That's all." Kirk now stood by the door, a tacit request to leave and end this conversation.

There was perhaps only a fraction of a second that Spock actually considered leaving, and dismissed it. Instead he knelt in the middle of the room, head down, palms up.

"Spock, whatever you are doing, stop it." Kirk said in a tone somewhere between casual and command.
"I pledge my life and my loyalty to you. And I will give you everything if you will accept it." Spock lifted his head, and looked at Kirk with an intensity that unnerved him.

"There is a way that you can know my intentions in all things, know that I am yours to wield."

Tendrils of anxiety bloomed in Kirk's guts. Whatever was happening here was something that was not in his control.

"Get up." He said tersely, a moment away from bodily tugging the Vulcan off the ground.

The Vulcan again put his hands up and his head down, waiting for Kirk to come nearer. He tentatively stepped closer. The dark head gestured for him to put his hands out, and he did so.

"Give me your mind."

Kirk nodded. He felt a spark from his hands. From inside and without he heard the words of the ritual, my mind to your mind. Then he could almost feel them in Vulcan.

/What is it Spock, that you have to tell me this way?/

/I would offer you the greatest symbol of devotion from Vulcan's past./

/Spock. I just need time to re-evaluate myself and you. That's all. Surely my reaction can't be so difficult to understand./

/No, it is not. But I wish to offer this anyway. I had considered it before./

/What?/

/In the ancient times, warriors were bonded together mentally. It helped them fight better, and ensured that warriors captured from others would remain in their new clan if previously un-bonded. But it was also given freely, as I am doing to you./

/I appreciate what you are offering, but I don't think we can be mentally attached. I don't think I could tolerate it, and I am pretty sure Starfleet won't approve./

An undefinable emotion briefly emanated from Spock. / Starfleet will not stand in the way of the will of Vulcan./

/I don't even understand what you are offering./ Kirk pulled his hands away. "You're going to have to do better than that? This was...is good. Why change it?"

Spock stood up and turned away from Kirk to speak. "I offer you a link between our minds. You will always know if Iam well, and the reverse. We will be able to communicate purely through mental means. You will never be lost where I cannot find you."

"If it was so great why doesn't everyone do it?・

"Those who are linked thus may find their minds turn towards each other when they would wish them to turn to others." Spock answered frankly.

"Are you saying that I won't want to date so much?" Kirk asked, with a hint of humor.

Spock arched his brow in response, "It is a possibility."

"What else?" Kirk pressed.

"If you were in terrible pain, I would feel it also, and only through mastery would I be able to control it. The worst possible scenario is two minds wrestling for control of two bodies, one a subordinate of the other. That is rare though. It is not a concern I have between us."

"Could it be detrimental to you? You have only framed in terms of what I would get out of it. And what about my privacy or yours?"

"Obviously as I am offering it would not be detrimental to myself. As for privacy, I would teach you to close your mind to me, a simple mental technique, one that Vulcan children master at a young age," Spock answered, with a mild jibe behind his words. The tension in the room was relieving. Regardless of the outcome of the offer, it had been beneficial for them to talk.

"It sounds like a precious gift, Spock. Why would you want to give it to me?"

"Because you are my captain. Because it is mine to give," Spock said with no hesitation.

"You didn't offer this to Pike, did you?" Kirk questioned, using his gentle persuasion to get to the heart of the matter.

"No, I did not," Spock answered, wary with the abrupt the abrupt turn of the conversation.

"Why was that?"

"I did not feel compelled to."

"And you do now?"

"No."

"So, why do you want to give it to me?"

"It can only be given once, this kind of Vulcan loyalty. I was grateful for the years of guidance I received from Captain Pike, but...it was not the same. I would think the fact that I offer to you what I would not to him would be self -explanatory and indicative of my regard for you."

"Perhaps, but I want you to spell it out for me. And this isn't a question of ego, but if you want to spent the rest of your life being my guard dog I want to know why," Kirk steamrolled on, relentless.

"But you would be guarding me as well," Spock replied, eyes luminous in the half light of Jim's cabin at this late hour.
A slow realization dawned on Kirk. The part Spock left out or couldn't say. Mutual regard. Whatever Pike had thought of Spock, it had never been a particularly personal relationship. And in spite of what had happened at Talos IV, theirs had always been a personal relationship. The kind born of fire, and responsibility. Of the need to be 100% honest with each other to keep 425 people alive.

Kirk paced for a few minutes, thinking silently, and Spock waited patiently. Abruptly, Kirk pivoted on his heel towards Spock, a smile illuminating his face.

"Very well, Mr. Spock. You drive a hard bargain. You've got yourself a deal."

"I do not see how this was a bargain, though I suspect you are merely being flippant or glib. It can be difficult to distinguish between some of these attitudes."

"Well, Mr. Spock, I believe you are about to get considerably more acquainted with them."

An eyebrow raised very high, but no other response was given to such human frivolity.

Before they got started Kirk poured the smallest splash of brandy into two glasses, and handed one to Spock.

"Sir, I do not see..."

Kirk cut him off, "Not to get drunk, Spock. A toast."

"Really? To what?"

"To the future, ours, the Enterprise's.・

Spock looked thoughtful, then nodded. The clink of glasses was the only sound, and Spock caught Kirk's eyes for a moment.

"Indeed. To the future, both the Enterprise's and our's.”

 

 

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