It was time. Jim and Spock had been lovers for almost four months, and they were planning on having a formal bonding ceremony just as soon as they could get leave and go to New Vulcan. Jim felt that Dr. McCoy, his good friend Bones, deserved to know the truth. Spock logically pointed out that Jim should be the one to break the news.
“Ummm, Bones, could I see you for a moment?” Jim hovered in the door of McCoy’s office.
“Sure Jim, what do you need?” Kirk stepped in and closed the door behind him. He needed privacy for this.
McCoy waved him to a seat. “Ok, what’s up?” he asked.
Jim swallowed hard. This is gonna be rough. He knew that deep down, McCoy liked and admired Spock, but this kind of news would really push McCoy out of his comfort zone.
“Well, you see,” he began, fidgeting awkwardly, feeling like he was in the principal’s office, “Spock and I…we’ve been…we are…” he broke off as McCoy leaped to his feet.
“No. Oh, Christ, Jim. Tell me you’re kidding. You can’t be serious. Have you thought about what this will do to your career, to your life? Oh, sweet Jesus.”
“Hey!” Now Jim was on his feet as well, boiling mad. “Okay, I get it. You’re an old-fashioned country doctor, and you probably have a thing about two men in a relationship. Or maybe you just don’t like humans and aliens. But let me tell you, this is real, we’re in love, and if you don’t like it…” he got no further.
“Whooh, wait a second.” McCoy looked at him. “You came here to tell me you’re in love with Spock?”
“Yeah.” Jim thrust out his chin. “We’ve been together for four months, and if you have a problem with it, just let me tell you…” He broke off again as McCoy began to laugh.
“Oh, God, Jim, I’m sorry.” He got up, still laughing and came around his desk, wrapping Jim in a bear hug and pushing him back down into his chair. Still chuckling, he walked back around and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, pouring them each a glass.
“I’m sorry,” Bones repeated. “I didn’t mean that. Hell, I know you and the hobgoblin have been knocking boots. God, Jim, you look at him like he invented our solar system, and he looks at you like a lovesick girl. And Jim, that’s fine with me. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”
Kirk looked at him, more puzzled than ever. “Then what the Hell was all that about?’
McCoy shook his head. “I thought you’d come to tell me you’d gotten your pointy-eared lover knocked up, and I think you’re a bit young to start a family.”
“What…what? Bones, that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. We are both guys, you know.”
McCoy just looked at him. “Jim, Vulcan males are like sea horses back on Earth. It’s a biological failsafe, in case there aren’t enough females around. You think I’m old-fashioned; you need to realize the whole universe isn’t human-designed. ” He rummaged in a drawer. “You two may want to talk about birth control, but in the meantime, take these.” He tossed a pack of condoms across the desk. “Oh, and Jim?” He grinned wickedly. “Mazel tov.”
Jim staggered out of Bones’ office, condoms in one hand, drink in the other, visions of pointy-eared babies dancing in his head.