Date: 11/15/2019 8:30 AM Title: Chapter 1
The first story in this sequence of fan fictions is interesting to me, it makes me question McCoy's Actions and Motives. Why? Well, the way it has been written, clearly, there was a sudden event during an Away Team ...Ice collapse leading to Spock dropping into freezing water, one assumes with injuries that kept him from trying to save himself. Kirk responded, immediately....yes, at risk to himself, yet Kirk is an otherwise Healthy, active, physically fit man....keeps himself Trained and ready to respond, so while it was difficult for him to rescue Spock, it was reasonable he would try to do so.
Once Kirk has Spock up to surface, they are all beam aboard, in transporter room, Kirk's ONLY CONCERN, is for Spock....but what is McCoy's response.....? He hypos Kirk with sedation? Why? For what purpose? How would sedation aid Kirk at that moment? It would not help him regain normal body temp, would not assist in any breathing issues....in fact would suppress his breathing function, so in fact....the only reason McCoy would have had to Snow Kirk...would be to remove him from Spock's side, to keep him "out of the way". Then one has to ask....how did McCoy decide who to give his Priority of care too? Did he stay focused on Kirk, as seems usual in the Abrams' Universe of Trek, and hand Spock over to M'Benga? I would not doubt that for a second, and would assume that those details would only come to light for Kirk after the fact.
Then, later, when Kirk wakes, we find he has been shut off into a "Private room"....away from Spock! Gee.....what an interesting factor. Why? Would not it had made much more sense, just from the Emotional welfare of Kirk and later on, when Spock wakes, for the Welfare of the Vulcan, to have roomed them together? Why would he want to add the extra stress of having Kirk wake up, not seeing Spock, having to wonder if his First is alive or dead, then also add in the physical stress of having the Captain have to walk to another location to see Spock?
then, when Kirk gets to Spock....most interesting of all....is McCoy's little Speech...his sort of backhanded compliment to Kirk about what a great Captain he is....that McCoy just knew Kirk would have risked his life for ANY of the crew had they fallen through the ice...and basically by saying that....diminished the action Kirk took in saving Spock's Life.
last....under the Guise of CMO, he actually turns on KIRK and uses the Emotion/deep Friendship and Feelings Kirk has for Spock....as a Threat against Kirk's position as Captain of the Enterprise...by asking "Are You Emotionally Compromised....", thus Gaining tremendous Power and Control over Kirk and, by design, over Spock as well....and over any developing relationship Captain and First Officer are forming.
Now, I Dare You, as Writer of this Fan Fic piece, to allow Kirk time to really reflect on all that happened and what was said between him and McCoy...during this Mission.....then I would love to see how you would write a follow up to this first story; Would you see Kirk as standing up to McCoy, protecting himself, his Command, his right to estalish whatever type and depth of relationship he wants with Spock.....or, would he shrink away (as seems the JJ ABRAMS' Universe Kirk Always concedes power to McCoy and his handy Hypo in fan fiction.)
if it were me....I would have Kirk drag McCoy into his day of reckonin....especially because what he did to Spock....by rooming the Vulcan away from his Captain, after such a terrible experience , was just plain mean and unwarranted!
as you can, you wrote a very intriguing story, at least for this reader!