Date: 06/24/2017 5:44 PM Title: Chapter 1
This is one helluva long first chapter, lol, so I'm wondering how long this fic will be when it gets finished, lol. To assure transparency in commenting, I am a TOS fan from way back who is trying to like Abramsverse anyway. I like this story very much but do have some issues not with your writing but with some issues that arise from Abrams. There are two issues which give me problems - the notion that this erratic but brilliant kid winds up as captain of the flagship of the Federation right out of college and the allergy issue. Allergies can be debilitating. As a matter of fact, they can be disabling if you're unlucky enough (I am). So I find myself a bit irritated by the whole "allergies are a joke" thing. I also have issue with the fact that the captain of the Enterprise could be diagnosed with a potentially disabling mood disorder and not be removed from command. We must remember that as much as we love the boys they are representatives of billions of individuals out there and can decide the life or death of entire cultures. This is a military organization (I hate the new hats), and military organizations are simply not run like that. That said, I do like your story with those objections and think it is well thought out and put together. While I am looking forward to future chapters, i hope that the chapters are a bit shorter next time around. Big chapters take a long time to read!
This is a completed fic and is marked as such; not sure where you got the impression that this was one chapter of a multi-chapter fic.
While I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave a comment, I admit that I don't think individual fics are the right place to air greivances about Abramsverse in general. I'm sorry to hear that you have such terrible allergies and, although their severity can of course run a spectrum, I can understand finding jokes about them irritating.
Similarly, as someone who does suffer from extremely serious major depressive disorder and OCD in real life, I find myself a bit irritated by the implication that mentally ill individuals who are in treatment and being constantly monitored by a physician cannot be in positions of power. Being depressed, even severely depressed, does not neccessarily preclude a person from continuing to function and continuing to be responsible for others. Obviously we can't know exactly how that will play out in an imaginary futuristic setting, but I don't think it appropriate to assume outright that a captain suffering depression would need to be stripped immediately of their command. I hope that by the 23rd century attitudes about mental health will not be quite so reductive.
I do genuinely appreciate you reading and commenting frankly, and I hope you don't mind me responding with the same frankness.
All the best, Anna