Reviews For Inner War
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Reviewer: TOS oldtimer Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 11/04/2016 5:38 PM Title: Edification

Rereading...  Such a wonderful novel. Kirk, Spock, Sarek; their struggles and conflicts come to life on the screen of my iPhone. As vivid as avid as a video might be.  Kirk and Spock so damaged - and Sarek terrified that despite marrying Amanda, he might have sired yet another dangerous, gifted telepath pwho will be corrupted by his power. And then there is Zienn, a true telepath who is not corrupted by his abilities, although he is sometimes tempted to overstep.  I think that you have created an autistic Vulcan who has succeeded despite his differences and is learning a lot from his experiences on earth. I think Zienn is one of the best OCs in Trek fandom.  Can't wait to "see" more of him.  

Thanhs for a fantastic read!

 



Author's Response:

Glad you like Zienn. He's the draft version of a character I'm using in an original story.


I remember first seeing Final Frontier and having a mind blown reaction to having Sybok dropped on the canon universe. The implications of his existence stretched way back into the storyline. I'm glad I finally got a chance to investigate that thread more thoroughly in this series.

Reviewer: Sceleta13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/23/2016 11:49 PM Title: Dress Uniform, Part 2

Marvelous wrapup  Like to see Spock taking the lead in "intimacy" with Kirk.  Also really liked the interaction between Kirk and Grange.  I hope we get more to see more of him in the next story.

Your title "Distant War" sounds intriguing, covering both Kirk's mission and Spock's stay at the temple.  I hope you give us more of Spock's "adventures" in the Advanced Ship Design class before he leaves for the temple.  

I'm glad you have whetted our appetites for the next story without a cliffhanger that would have us on the edges of our seats.

Thank you.  Very much looking forward to Distant War.

 



Author's Response:

Yup, more Grange. Lots more Academy. I'm enjoying that. I feel like I'm getting the opportunity to invent Hogwarts for non-magical nerds.

Reviewer: Jaylen0827 Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/15/2016 11:39 PM Title: Dress Uniform, Part 2

Thank you so much for this story!! It is my favorite  series right now. Can't wait for the next part. This is definitely in the top ten of my all time favorite series!!



Author's Response:

Thanks for reading and commenting! Really appreciate it.


More action and angst is on the way.

Reviewer: Sceleta13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/09/2016 1:38 PM Title: Careful

lol, I guess you could just call it the Colony War Series. But that's kinda boring.

BTW, I really appreciate your timely posting of new chapters.  I usually don't read WIPs because I've been burned so many times by them falling off a cliff (is there a proper writers' term for that?).  I got hooked on Colony War and couldn't stop reading when Kirk's War started up.

I know it must take a lot of time and effort to keep the stories going, and I am very grateful.



Author's Response:

It's actually an obsession that I can't stop. I have to work more on some other writing projects too this month. I've having to use working on this as a lure for working on that in that I have to write ten pages of that before writing ten pages of this.


On the other hand, everyone needs a hobby and it's not the worst vice in the world.

Reviewer: Sceleta13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/09/2016 12:18 AM Title: Careful

Another great chapter.  Love how much confidence Spock is showing, even with Kirk's imminent departure on a dangerous mission.  The "tea for two" meetings between him and Sarek are very interesting.  Would love to see Sarek's reaction if Spock told him Captain Sulu is going to duel Kirk for him :)

I hope Kirk and Spock are not going to part without being "intimate" again.  Maybe Spock will take the lead.  Some hints of that is this chapter.

I'm thrilled that you will be continuing this series after you wrap up Inner War.  I think you should continue to refer to the series as the Colony War Trilogy.  After all, if the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy can have 5 books, imagine how many STORIES you can have in a trilogy.  



Author's Response:

Ha. Funny. I was trying to think of some variant on "the increasingly misnamed" for exactly that purpose. Or I could jump right to pentology on the assumption that I will continue to fail to wrap things up suffiently.

Reviewer: Jaylen0827 Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/02/2016 6:30 PM Title: Lexington

Such a different perspective with Sulu being a captain and holding enough power to do harm to either Kirk or Spock.  

Wondering if we are going to get to see Kirk interacting with Lt. Grange, now that he has been reinstated. Would love to see Grange's reaction to Kirk in uniform and how Kirk would treat him while in uniform. Hmmm......might be an interesting exchange. 



Author's Response:

It's like you read my mind . . . :D

 

Reviewer: Sceleta13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/02/2016 4:19 PM Title: Lexington

Marvelous chapter.  I love how you have "repositioned" Sulu so he's the one in charge and Spock the one who must obey.  But Spock still holds his on, even at 19!!!!  

Looking forward to seeing how you complete  Inner War, but I  don't want it to end.  Are you planning more installments?



Author's Response:

I am working on another. Glad to hear there is a bit of demand from some readers. I have "Distant War" drafted in my head. I had some new ideas and a bunch of small ideas for this story that I've held back on. Which also helps keep this story narrow enough to be coherent.

Reviewer: nml Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/30/2016 3:33 AM Title: Sobering Up

I want my kids' signifiant others (God willing, one day) to say that about them to me! Esp for my boys, I always say I want to raise them that no matter my relationship w/thier wives, they'll say I raised them right. Go Amanda!



Author's Response:

Well, you make me think maybe I should say that to my mother in law. But, man that would be awkward. Maybe sometime when we're all drunk enough.

Reviewer: Jaylen0827 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 08/23/2016 2:02 AM Title: Review, Part 1

Argh.... what a place to leave us!!  The anticipation is killing me. Please update soon with the next part of the review.  I liked the way Jim surreptitiously communicated with Zien. Sneaky...



Author's Response:

:)


Life's been too busy, updates will be slower for a bit. Hopefully Thursday for part 2. :(

Reviewer: nml Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/18/2016 11:54 PM Title: Outfitted

You write so, always a pleaseure to read :)



Author's Response:

Thanks! I can see the style varying based on what I'm reading on the side. Since I don't go back and edit more than a chapter or two at a time, there is no chance to make it all consistent. It ends up a kind of diary of my reading.

Reviewer: coccinelle Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/06/2016 5:32 AM Title: Arrangement

Great story! how many chapters will there be before the story is completed?



Author's Response:

Hm. I'm not sure where I'm going to break this one to start the next. Maybe five chapters... 39 or 40 total.

Reviewer: Sceleta13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/04/2016 1:27 AM Title: Accord

Another great chapter.  I love Sarek's struggle to understand Spock and all the oops!!!! moments he has trying to be gentle and non-critical and not quite getting it. At least he seems to finally be listening!!!!!  

You did a great job of showing that in the passage where Sarek says he's made sure Spock will be acceptable to the temple and Spock says  "You make your selection based on your assumptions but it is I who must suffer the result. The attempts to remake me and the constant disapproval and distaste. I have no faith in your selection."  Unreformed Sarak would never have accepted that.

It's good that Sarek realizes that he is a "failed practitioner" of IDIC.  Now if he'd just realize the damage he's done by beating Spock down all those years.

Does he yet get what Spock is telling him with the frayed robes?

Looking forward to more, particularly what Kirk does to "work it out" as he promised in Chapter 29.

Thanks!!!!!!!!

 

Reviewer: conundrum1 Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/27/2016 9:15 PM Title: Precious

Now, that was one of my favorite chapters EVER. So realistic. Spock protesting against the attention, the dialogue with Zienn (and here I really appreciate how you kept track on the changes in Spocks voice. Put me right there. Also here: No problems to feel compassion for him. And what a great statement:

"Do you wish to become accustomed to melding?" He thought it absurd to ask and therefore a way of leading Spock to a solution.

"No."

Zienn felt the urge to grow sharp again. Spock's response struck him as stubborn and childish. He said nothing.

"I accept your judgement," Spock said.

Zienn considered that a statue might be better for such discussions.

 

The last sentence ...LOL !!!

Reading this story is making my day. Please update soon.

Reviewer: nml Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/26/2016 12:38 PM Title: Precious

Another great and intriguing chapter. You write very well and am very curious where you take this

Reviewer: Sceleta13 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 07/24/2016 1:38 AM Title: Personal Crisis

Terrific chapter. I really lIke the passage where Spock considers his 2 impossible choices:  3-4 years at the temple or never see his parents again. No wonder he gets the shivers!!!  Do you think Amanda would really disown him?  if not, please have her tell Spock that. If yes, let her keep  it to herself :)



Author's Response:

I've been writing this and thinking it's just a parallel universe, and then I remember that canon Spock must have done this. Gone through with being cut off from both Sarek and Amanda, right about the same age. I couldn't even go through with this more damage Spock doing that. Canon Spock was really desperate. Or overly logical, possibly got through it that way. That would be ironic.

Reviewer: Sceleta13 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 07/24/2016 1:16 AM Title: Futility

OMG 10 updates since I went on a no-computer, sporadic-internet vacation. I am truly amazed at the quality and volume of your output. I'm foaming at the mouth to review every chapter and include some of my favorite passages.  But I'm writing this on my tablet using 1 finger, so those reviews will have to wait. For now I'll just say WOW, FASCINATING, and MARVELOUS!!!!!!  Looking forward to seeing more. 

Reviewer: Jaylen0827 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 07/22/2016 1:09 PM Title: Personal Crisis

Loving  this cocky, self assured Kirk. I like the fact that he is older than Spock in this story and mentoring Spock. So glad to see him back to himself. The comic relief of him angering and frustrating those around him is absolutely precious! !



Author's Response:

This Kirk's a lot of fun to write.

And a new reviewer. Welcome and thanks!

Reviewer: conundrum1 Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/10/2016 8:11 PM Title: Movement

This chapter was worth a sigh of relief here....A better title you couldn't have found. I can't possibly tell you how much I enjoyed Kirk getting his act and his socks together and witnessing Chanel in front of her class. 

I also liked the bit were Kirk feels he has cheated on Spock by melding with Sarek. Understandable. The meld in general felt wonderfully described and again and again in your story there is a golden sentence with a thought of incredible relevance: "Your self-awareness has served its purpose, and is now the source of your distress with your life, which only encourages more self-awareness. You will not get out of this loop easily" 

Great...

 Strangely I couldn't somehow enter Kirks experience on Tarsus.  I have no idea why. I reread it twice. some things stay a bit vague maybe. But I am not sure this is the reason. I wished to feel more compassion with him -  I didnt manage.

But I am extremely glad, that now Kirk and Sarek are in the clear. Am looking very much forward to the continuation.



Author's Response:

I was going to play up the Kirk/Sarek thing a bit more but it was squicking me. I should try to write that pairing for real because of that aversion. I have a Kirk/Amanda story idea already. It didn't have a happy ending, so I haven't written it. I could try to give it a happy ending... somehow. It was bloody angsty.Hard to make happiness legit at the end of that much bad emotion.

Tarsus scene: That's really useful to hear. Thanks! I reworked that part, moving it from past perfect (I think, I'm not a grammar person) into simple past. But it still isn't told with the same immediacy as action scenes happening in normal in-scene. That might be part of the problem. There is also an enforced distance caused by the storyteller being current Kirk unwillingly re-experiencing what young Kirk experienced and then conveying that to the reader. Not sure if one or both of these is the issue or something else like simple lack of emotional investment caused by some other way we get into the scene. Especially the disjointed narrative caused by Sarek plucking memories up out of order. But I agree there is something amiss if the reader is expected to sympathize. I'm not sure it matters, but I have to put it down for a month and reread to know.

Thanks for your input on that. I appreciate it.

Reviewer: conundrum1 Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/30/2016 8:54 PM Title: Guides

Hi Kara, brilliant chapter, thank you! I just cant follow one sentence, maybe there is a not missing?

Lhundup replied, "Not exactly. They store the souls of the dead in a holy place. Some souls are considered to have more presence than others. By some. But NOT (?) incarnation in the way you mean."

Looking forward how it goes on - am so happy Zienn is shaping up to be Spocks teacher - was hoping for this. It indeed would have been catastrophic if he would have been taken out of the academy - and you portrayed perfectly the kind of mindset such a problem causes. Superb. (although painful to read)



Author's Response:

Correct. There is a missing not there.

You caught on early what I had in mind for Zienn but there is a twist.

 

Reviewer: Sceleta13 Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/01/2016 3:05 AM Title: Path

OMG!!!!  Just when you have us thinking Sarak is a decent person, he reverts to form.   I am all bent out of shape about this.  Great writing!!!!  Keep telling myself, it's just a story, they aren't real.  But you've made them so real.  I wonder if Zienn has a clue what he's done.  Can't wait to see how you resolve this.  Kirk kicks Sarek's butt?  Spock tells Sarek to buzz off?  I'm sure you'll surprise me.  Please, please, please update soon, so I can get some sleep :)



Author's Response:

Your comment made me smile. We all remember being forced as a teen into an unwanted situations, so this plot thread works pretty well.

 

 

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