Reviews For Unexpected
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Reviewer: Sera Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 01/03/2016 10:21 AM Title: Epilogue

Thank you for this wonderful story.
I enjoyed every part - the dark and the light moments.
It's an end with hopes and a better future.
You can be sure that I'm with you by the next part of this storyline. ;-)
A happy new year to you and many good ideas. ;-)
LLAP Sera

Author's Response:

But thank you! For being a wonderful and diligent reader! I really wanted to end this arc of the story on a lighter note, I'm glad you liked it! Happy New Year, Doll! And live long and prosper. =3

Reviewer: angelocustode Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 01/03/2016 8:36 AM Title: Departures and Promotions

Sorry that I have embarked on this adventure only now. I hardly ever read WIPs, I'm too scared to be left without an ending. ;)

But I will gladly comment chapter by chapter as I read. 

This first chapter has all that is needed to make me want to read the rest. Good  characterization,  well written interactions and the mystery that makes us readers want to find out along with the others. 

Only one thing: doesn't NuBones have brown eyes?



Author's Response:

Oh, no apologies are necessary! I'm just happy that you have stumbled across my fic! I figured a lot of readers were hanging back until I finished the fic, I know it's common for people to kind of avoid WIPs like the plague, haha.

Aw, you're so sweet! Thank you!
O>O ...god, you're right. He does have brown eyes. Shit!

Reviewer: Nightshade sydneylover150 Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/03/2016 3:28 AM Title: Epilogue

I loved that chapter, although I'm pouting about Jim and David moving to San Fran.  I'm glad (oddly) that Jim isn't going back into space because that seems like where the conversation with Pike was going.  What is Jim going to be doing exactly in So Cal (remember I'm pouting)?  Will Jim keep the house in Iowa?



Author's Response:

It'll be okay! This job is going to be so much better and challenge him so many more ways! He'll get to design and build with his own hands rather than just oversee or direct. Nope, no space Jim, at least not right now.
He will definitely be keeping the house in Iowa, it's already paid off, he just has to pay property tax on it every month. It'll be like their summer home. =]

Reviewer: Nightshade sydneylover150 Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/01/2016 3:02 AM Title: Bonus Chapter: Spock in San Francisco

Cute chapter!  I love how Spock was attempting to dodge having a conversation with Uhura about his relationship with Jim!



Author's Response:

Haha, oh yes! Thank you! =]
Spock deems those things...private, naturally. =P Uhura couldn't resist though.

Reviewer: WriterPam4 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 12/28/2015 4:34 PM Title: Small Goodbyes

I find this a very interesting story to read and I am eager anticipation and excitement with each new chapter. This is my favourite holiday reading so far.



Author's Response:

Aw, thank you! It's almost not a WIP any longer too! Woohoo!

Reviewer: Sera Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/28/2015 6:04 AM Title: Ashayam

So it's happen now.
They are parted.
But they had a great goodbye time. ;-)

Author's Response:

Parting but never parted, never and always touching. =]

Reviewer: Nightshade sydneylover150 Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/28/2015 4:24 AM Title: Departures and Promotions

Ummm.. You know those how-to manuals that help you learn a job or how to interact with people from different regions?  I thought it was one of those and that Spock bought it for Jim to learn how to behave in certain situations as a recruiter... Like an "idiot's Gide to becoming a recruiter" only packaged differently....



Author's Response:

Haha! That's funny, but it probably does have some sentences in languages in it, how to say these five phrases in these native tongues, etc. XD Idk, I just mainly imagined it as a 'big book of manly stuff', which I have actually.

Reviewer: Nightshade sydneylover150 Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/28/2015 4:17 AM Title: Ashayam

I loved this chapter for all its bitter sweet nature!  Great job in conveying the realism.  I love how you put the HR card in there.  i kind of hope Jim figures out something else. I think being a recruiter would interfere with his time with David in a similar manner as being a bartender.  Starfleet is a demanding mistress.  Maybe he could do some computer work?



Author's Response:

Thank you very much! It was a tough one to write, especially when it came time for David to say goodbye to Spock. But I got it done, and it can only get better from here. =]
Oh yes, I have a plan for Jim in returning to Starfleet, at least in a smaller capacity at first. It'll be in the epilogue and then you all will see how I'm twisting things towards the actual end of Part 1. Part 2 will open up onto a whole new front for our three boys. I'm super excited to start putting it together! Now...just to find the muse again to write a bonus chapter and an epilogue and I'll be set. @_@

Reviewer: Nightshade sydneylover150 Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/22/2015 5:55 AM Title: Departures and Promotions

Lol!  Totally not what I thought it was.  :-)



Author's Response:

What were you thinking it was?? =P

Reviewer: Nightshade sydneylover150 Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/22/2015 5:30 AM Title: Departures and Promotions

Here i'm referancing this part:

 

Jim's stocking contains a few of the same items in Spock's and David's, along with a wrapped gift from Spock he pulls out and inspects. "A pocket reference guide?" He asks, flipping through the pages once he has unwrapped it, "wow...conversions and everything. How to build the perfect fire, a map of London...San Francisco, Boston, Chicago." Lifting his eyes off the page, he smiles, "this thing has everything. A man's guide to life." He snorts.

"I was assured by the bookseller that it makes a good gift." Spock replies



Author's Response:

Oooh, not really? I mean, I toyed at one point in time to turn it into a more sentimental thing about Jim not having a father to teach him all that manly bullshit? But I decided that was too heavy for Christmas, so it's literally just a handy book with manly stuff in it. My boyfriend has one, HAH! It's like a guide to all the little things. How to set up a tent the proper way, built a fire, fix a hole in a boat. Survival/practical stuff. =P It's probably more like a testament to an impulse buy on Spock's part. xD Like, 'Jim always gets into these situations...perhaps this guide would be useful to him, as he is extremely accident prone.' Idk, maybe I'll be compelled to say something more about it in Spock's bonus chapter. ;P

Reviewer: Nightshade sydneylover150 Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/21/2015 5:18 AM Title: Christmas Surprises

Awwww!  I liked their Christmas!  Just out of curiosity, because I'm like a dog with a bone, was Spock aiming at something with the pocket reference?



Author's Response:

I'm not sure I remember what you're referring to as 'the pocket reference'? Remind me??

Reviewer: Sera Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 12/20/2015 3:39 PM Title: Christmas Surprises

A sweet chapter... ;-)

Author's Response:

Thank you! =3

Reviewer: Sera Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 12/19/2015 10:55 AM Title: We See With Open Hearts

David is awesome as Ninja-Joseph. ;-)
Spock is cute by making a costume for David.

The solution between Jim and Spock is great. I can imagine that that could bee ok with the separation and the link will help. But it will be hard, when Spock goes back to the Enterprise - for Jim and for David...

Author's Response:

Ninja-Joseph! Child in desguise! >]
Well, one thing about a Vulcan mind-link is that it doesn't reach across vast distances...so they still will be entirely separated from one another. But it'll make the return so much more sweeter for it. ;P

Reviewer: Nightshade sydneylover150 Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/18/2015 10:59 AM Title: We See With Open Hearts

Poor Jim.  I get why he isn't certain about how much responsibility he should put on Spock.   I'm still waiting for Spock to push the issue of Stafleet, but I'm glad he didn't in this chapter!



Author's Response:

Not only is he unwilling to drag Spock into too much parenting, but he's also reluctant to open himself up and take that risk of getting his heart broken. Spock has become increasingly more important to him, and to David, and he'd hate to do something to wreck it. In fact, he's terrified he will. But with Spock's insistance and assurances, he is slowly stating to trust that what they've built is stronger than he had first thought. The issue of Starfleet and Jim's career path will be resolved in this story, though perhaps not until the epilogue at the very end. ;P We'll get an inside peak at Unexpected Part 2.

Reviewer: Nightshade sydneylover150 Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/17/2015 11:16 PM Title: Warm Traditions

I like that two chapters ago Jim told Spock that he isn't sure what his dreams are any more.  I think I see a difference between who Spock wants Jim to be (I.e. A recruiter, in Starfleet) and who Jim feels he needs to be with his son.  

i loved this chapter too because it show that Spock is changing too... Or at least I think he is... i liked the chapter for Thanksgiving, but for some reason I expected Jim to react differently... Maybe more angrily or frustrated that Spock didn't respect his decision?  I don't know...Maybe that's what I thought was more realistic.

 

either way I love your story and I cannot wait to read more!



Author's Response:

Thank you! You're so lovely, I appreciate the review. =]

I did think about having Jim be angry about everyone invading his home and finding out about David, but then again, he missed all his old friends and it's hard to be mad at Spock when you're in the middle of a reunion with old friends. Also, they have fights later about other things, I didn't want to make thier relationship seem too rocky, so i had Jim accept and be grateful for the surprise. Besides, he realizes that David needs more people in his life he can consider family rather than just Spock and himself.

Thank you, you're amazing for taking the time to get back to me, I really appreciate it. =] Happy Holidays!

Reviewer: sherlokianwisdome Anonymous starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 12/15/2015 8:59 PM Title: Ghosts and Groceries

This story is absolutely amazing so far. As of the 4th chapter, how far I've read, you've captured all of the personalities, kept Jim acting like Jim while still domesticated (although I seem to detect a bit of longing for what he left behind), and overall built up a pretty good plot.

 

I hate to be a Debby Downer, but you seemed to change voices in this chapter from past to present tence. (Going from "said" to "says"). Perhaps you meant to, as it was a rather seamless transition, just thought I might point it out in case I was reading it wrong.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you are liking it so far, and you aren't wrong about that hint of longing. Hopefully that will take care of itself throughout the story though, especially once we reach part two. (I'm turning this work into a series).

On the note about the tenses, I'm aware of the flub-ups, I have a beta working with me on the edits but she didn't change the tenses in the first two or three chapters. She hasn't beta'd for anyone before, so we're kind of feeling our way through it. Thanks for the heads up though, it certainly isn't intentional except for when referring to memories past.

Reviewer: Sera Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 12/14/2015 5:00 AM Title: Warm Traditions

very sweet. ;-)
I love it. ;-)

Author's Response:

Thank you, Sera! =]

Reviewer: Sera Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 12/12/2015 12:01 PM Title: With Friends, We Give Thanks

A nice meeting... but will it make it not harder for Jim to stay away from the Enterprise?
To see what he lost.
Oh, he loves David and give all to him, but what is with him?
He isn't truly happy. He is sad. And I'm sure that David can feel this and feel himself guilty about this?
I'm eager to see where you go long with this story...

Author's Response:

It's hard being separated from your closest family and friends, I agree. But they'll be joined again, and they will keep in touch with Jim during the mission. Spock will be sending his lover and David message cubes during the three years they are apart.
David doesn't exactly understand what his Dad gave up to be his father, perhaps when he's older he'll get it and he might ask James why. He is only five years old at the moment. =P
Thanks for the read and review!

Reviewer: nml Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/12/2015 3:45 AM Title: Date Nights and Sleepovers

I finally have some time to review the chapters and properly says thanks! that I wolfed down and re-read over and over :) Again, as usual, the writing is just so great - and there are some touches that are very touching, like Jim not being a disturbance to Spock or how Jim's smile is filled with "Iowa sunshine" - little nuggets that are like "wow."  The date (lead up to and post) was of course adorable and sweet, the post-post was sexy, but he I loved the after part. Where Jim asks Spock not to shut him out and Spock admits to being overwhelmed. Also loved the description of Spock holding and protecting Jim.

Just kudos on the whole chapter!



Author's Response:

Hey! No worries, I'm a patient person (usually). I enjoyed writing this last chapter, even if there was a lot of pressure to get the intimacy right. But deep down, below all the surface stuff, Jim and Spock are essentially good friends. Everything else is secondary, so it became easy when I simply thought about it that way. After all, we all want to marry/be with someone we consider our best friend.

Thank you so much for the read and review, I'm really happy that you liked it. =]

Reviewer: Sera Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/11/2015 6:58 PM Title: Date Nights and Sleepovers

PS: sorry for my english... isn't my native language...

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