Date: 04/15/2016 1:57 AM Title: They Will Light My Way Tonight
That's great as a final chapter, getting everything right again. Somehow I feel that the post fal tor pan bit stands almost a bit on its own, as if it was a seperate story. And actually I think you could enhance it to a full length fic, one that follows the whole of the rehabilitation progress. What about that?
I'm glad you liked it! I was a little curious as to what people would think of the final chapter. More curious about how my mirror verse history would be received. But now that you mention it it is kind of a departure from the rest of the fic. It's not a bad idea and I'll definitely consider it once I get my next project moving. Thanks for the feedback! Live long and prosper!
Date: 06/14/2015 7:13 AM Title: Twilight Sings A Song
Reads like a reacted scene.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!! Hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter is going to have a huge deus ex machina which I hope won't alienate too many people. Anyway, hope you enjoy the following chapters! ;-) live long and prosper!
Date: 06/14/2015 3:24 AM Title: Twilight Sings A Song
This promises to be a very powerful story. I am not sure that, in the third from the last paragraph, "grumbled" is quite the right word. Since Kirk is about to weep uncontrollably, perhaps a word like "sob" or "moan" would be more apt than a word that suggests "complaining." Or something like "whispered," adding that his voice stuck in his throat, or other words to suggest the pain he is feeling and how difficult it is to say anything at all in his overshelming grief.
Looking forward to more.
Thank you for reading and reviewing!!! I took your advice into consideration and I may fix that. The way it had played in my head I figured he hadn't quite lost control when he declared he should have died with Spock. Like he was speaking like a beaten dog but he hasn't lost it quite yet.
There's going to be a HUGE deus ex machina in the next chapter so I hope this story doesn't disappoint. I'm hoping my next fic will be mostly emotional.
hope all is well. Live long and prosper!!! ;-)