Reviews For What Remains
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Reviewer: macywinstar Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 07/05/2015 6:51 AM Title: Chapter 22

And there it is--Jim knows he's finally over Gary.  He realizes he's in love with Spock.  I'd probably feel overwhelmed too.  Now what happens next?  You captured his emotions perfectly.



Author's Response:

Hi there :) 

Yeah, it's certainly over-whelming, as only 3 or 4 months ago he was in a deep dark pit of despair.  A lot has happened to him in the last 18 months, especially emotionally, and Jim has probably found much of it very difficult to deal with. Poor Jim, but yes, he's finally getting there.  I'm relieved and elated too, that you think I've captured those emotions well.  

What happens next? Well, you'll just have to tune in again next time ;) *Grins an evil grin*

Huge thanks from me (and a hug) for continuing to read (and for continuing to post reviews - I love receiving them).

~X

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/03/2015 4:51 AM Title: Chapter 21

Please forgive me for the late review. Had a very serious hail storm last Saturday, very strong winds. Our place is a disaster zone. Hail was the size of golf balls, if not bigger. Anyways, before the storm I actually got to see the movie and really enjoyed it. The actress who played the grieving widow had such an emotional scene where she is so angry at her husband for leaving her. She says all this to her psychiatrist. She was very convincing, and later when she finally does see him in the flesh, she is thrilled beyond words.

I love how you picked certain things from the movie and wrote it in your story. We certainly can't forget the rats, the excessive heat in the apartment, the dead friends hanging out watching movies. Also the old man who talks to his wife about all sorts of things, and there's also the Spanish language where you switched to Vulcan instead. It was real cool to see a scene where for example the lady comes home with a stack of books blocking the door, or there's a major furniture relocation going on... I smiled watching those scenes because they were in your story. 

There's probably more, but I'll stop here and talk about this chapter.

It's getting a bit easier for Jim now that Gary is gone. He's actually managed a whole week. The sorrow of losing him, comes in waves. But, it isn't a debiltating as it was in the beginning. Before, all Jim wanted to do was hide from the world and be sad. Now, he needs to get out and do stuff. Hang with friends, eat, drink, have pleasant converations. He needs this. Being alone with your thoughts, and you mentioned it I believe, the walls feel like they are closing in on you. 

So happy that Jim took the initiative and is observing Federation Day with Spock. 

Can't wait for the next chapter. 



Author's Response:

Hi Dahliaxat,

There’s nothing to forgive, dear.  Sorry to hear your news :(  It’s awful when this stuff happens.  I only hope that you and your loved ones are okay, and that there wasn’t too much damage, and you can get your place sorted soon. 

The movies brilliant, isn’t it.  Juliet Stevenson is a great actress and she did a fantastic job.  I’ve probably picked up way too much from the movie (*Blushes*), but I’m glad you like that, and that you had fun spotting the similarities :)

I have to warn you though, that we are at the point in my fic where we diverge from the movie, somewhat.  I hope that this doesn’t detract from your enjoyment, but feel I have to forewarn you, especially as you’ve seen the movie and read so far.  I wouldn’t want you disappointed when we take a left/right turn.  However, the real risk of moving away a little from the movie, is that the story just goes downhill from here :) *Grins*.

Yes, Jim has managed a whole week.  It’s still bittersweet and the grief can still catch him unawares occasionally, but he’s really on the road to healing and picking up his life again.  I wanted this chapter to highlight the more upbeat mood and welcome company he shares with his friends (i.e. the humour) and his loneliness in the house, now that Gary’s gone.  Jim no longer wants to stay in, alone, which is good as, outside of his grief, it’s not really in Jim’s character to sit at home alone. 

We shall soon see how Jim’s Federation Day celebrations go ;) Next chapter will be up as soon as I have a few spare minutes.

Thanks for taking the time to leave a review, my friend, and I hope that things in your world are better soon.

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/20/2015 4:36 PM Title: Chapter 20

A sad and beautiful chapter as well. Very emotional. So Gary had it all planned, even has his dead buddies to help out. The realization that this is finally the end is of course still very painful for Jim. It's painful for Gary as well. But, the quote you put up Langston Hughes makes so much sense. He has to move on. 

You mentioned at first that Jim was saying goodbye to Gary a second time, but then said it was actually the first time, beause Jim never properly said goodbye the first time around.  He kept holding on to Gary, so much so that both of them were pretty much living in limbo. Now, Gary is where he must go, but like Gary said, he will always be with Jim in his mind and heart.

The title fits the story perfectly. What Remains...

It will take time for Jim to heal from the loss of Gary, but he has Spock who is his friend. He will help him and later be much more. Jim just has to be open to the possibilities. 

Excellent chapter. Looking forward to more. 



Author's Response:

Hi there :)

Thank you so much for your kind words about the chapter - ‘Sad, beautiful and very emotional.’  Wow!  It seems I got it right.  I’m over the moon that people like this chapter. I like it too and amazingly it was easy to write, certainly easier than some of the chapters, and went onto the page pretty much as I wanted it to. 

Yep, Gary had it all planned. Remember the challenge “…and to surreptitiously help him move on.” So, yeah he had it all mapped out and even roped in some help.  Jim’s not the only one with plans and schemes ;)  In fact while Jim’s been plotting re: the Maru, Gary’s been plotting Re: Jim.

I’m so glad that you can see that it’s painful for Gary too, to have to leave Jim behind.  It’s a pretty selfless thing he’s done.  Poor Gary :(

I wanted the title to fit the story, so I’m glad you agree that it does.  At the end of the story there’ll be a poem which contains the words ‘What Remains.’ So watch out for that.  The poem is where I got the title from.

As usual there will be more next Saturday, when we can see how Jim is coping without Gary the second time round.

Thanks again for your lovely review.  

Reviewer: macywinstar Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 06/20/2015 9:25 AM Title: Chapter 20

There's nothing you could have done that would make this parting any easier.  It was gut wrenching.  To finally acknowledge that the one you love is gone and move on with your life is incredibly painful.  You just want to hold on for as long as you can.  It will still be painful for Jim but he's found love with Spock--although he's not quite ready to admit it.  This chapter is perfect just the way it is.



Author's Response:

Hi there :)

Sorry for the delay in responding.  Jim’s certainly trying to hold on, even for a few more seconds, even though he knows it’s over.  It was Gary who pulled the plug, so to speak, in the end.  Because as he said to Jim, he’s already moving on, he just hasn’t realised it yet.  Even Jim can’t remain oblivious forever though, and it probably won’t be much longer before he realises just how much Spock means to him. 

I’m so happy you like the chapter.  I like it too.  It turned out pretty much the way I wanted it to, at pretty much the first time of asking.  If it was gut-wrenching then it means I got it right :)

Thanks for your lovely review.

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/14/2015 4:20 AM Title: Chapter 19

Jim sure was happy that Spock called him logical. That made his day. Bones was sure annoyed with Spock today. Again, Jim is just in a happy place when Spock is concerned, but it's a different story entirely when he arrives home. 

Jim has to sleep in the spare bedroom now? Come on Gary, give the guy a break. Gary almost seems to enjoy pushing Jim's buttons.

Why does Jim take two steps forward and two steps back. He knows deep in his gut, his soul that it's over, but he again changes his mind, thinking he can resolve the situation, he still won't let go. 

There's a sentence that I'm seeing often that you include in your chapters when Gary has dialogue. Gary often askes Jim...Well, just tell them to leave... and now he's even used that for himself...just tell me to leave...

Gary is trying to make Jim do this on his own...he wants him to cut the strings for Jim to move on, prefably with Spock.

Gary still ain't done pushing those buttons...

 



Author's Response:

Hi Dahliaxat,

 

Gary certainly hasn’t done pushing those buttons, but I suspect the whole situation is now building quickly to some kind of resolution ;) As you say, Jim knows in his soul, in his gut, that it’s over.  His patience with how things are now has to run out at some point.  Let’s face it, he’s had the patience of a saint so far, considering just how staggeringly inconsiderate Gary’s behaviour’s been.

But there’s a reason for Gary’s selfishness.  As you say, he’s trying to make Jim let go, trying to get him to move on.  Jim’s not the only one able to devise and execute a plan to perfection, and at this point it seems Gary’s plan is working brilliantly. 

Thanks :) for stopping by and reviewing.  Always appreciated.  

Reviewer: macywinstar Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 06/13/2015 4:00 PM Title: Chapter 19

It's painful to watch Jim and Gary come to the realization that what they had is over.  Neither one of them wants to be the one to say it.  I admit this chapter made me teary eyed.



Author's Response:

Hi macywinstar,

Oh Wow! I’m sorry to have made you teary-eyed, but must admit a part of me is happy to have done so (is that wrong of me?), as it means I’m doing my job.

Yeah, it’s very painful, for both of them. Eventually one of them is going to have to step up and say…well…that it’s time to say goodbye :(

Thanks, as always, for reviewing.

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/06/2015 6:28 PM Title: Chapter 18

I'm glad Jim had the opportunity to go out with Spock and have that picnic despite the fog. The time they spent together was rather informative. We got to know how Spock was mistreated by other Vulcan children. Plus, we have Jim recalling an event that was hard to talk about, but felt good to share with his friend Spock.

I am just loving the looks Jim is giving Spock. He's ready to burst out of his skin.  He so wants to touch him, but Spock actually beats him to it. A slight touch giving Jim a delightful tingling sensation.

I was happy to see Jim surrendering to that urge of reaching out to Spock when they are about to parts ways, even though it was to rearrange Spock's hat. 

When Jim finally arrives at his apartment, Gary is there asking him questions about his day. He isn't angry when he finds out that Jim spent time on the beach and had a picnic with someone.

It seems Gary couldn't be bothered. He's more interested hanging with dead friends, playing chess. Jim is livid. He can't even ask Gary anything without having Gary's buddies showing up interrupting the beginnings of a conversation. 

It seems that Gary is slipping away even in his dreams. Sad chapter but very well written.



Author's Response:

Hi Dahliaxat, :)

 

Yeah, Spock totally beat him with the touching :) Ha! Score one for Spock.

I think Gary is bothered; it just seems he’s not from Jim’s point of view, and you can’t blame Jim for thinking that, as Gary’s present behaviour is shockingly inconsiderate.  He’s behaving like a total ass (rather like the Gary Mitchell most other fics paint him as, sadly).  From Gary’s point of view it seems his plan is working better than even he expected.  Poor Gary, *sniff*

There’s a sharp contrast between Jim’s willingness to talk with Spock, even about emotionally painful memories and experiences (and let’s not forget, Jim doesn’t strike me as a man who is comfortable really talking about his feelings), and his sudden lack of communication with Gary. 

Their relationship wasn't always like this, I’ve tried to show how much they were in love and how easily they communicated with each other in Jim’s memories/flashbacks (like the cloud scene in the park, the bike ride to the shipyards and even how they first met). 

However, with hindsight (and agreeing with Dunyazad – see reviews below), I think I could have written a few extra chapters when Gary first came back from the dead, in chapter eight, showing how their relationship used to be.  I think it would have made Gary’s present behaviour easier to understand as you could then see how they used to be and how sharp the contrast is with their relationship, or lack of it, now. This writing lark is a hell of a steep learning curve!   

Anyway, I hope that lack doesn’t spoil or detract from the story too much. 

Yeah, sad chapter :( 

Thanks for your lovely review and for continuing to read and review regularly. 

~X

 

 

Reviewer: macywinstar Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 06/06/2015 9:16 AM Title: Chapter 18

Sadly as Jim starts to see a life without Gary, Gary starts moving further away. The old saying that "life goes on" does apply in this case. I think Gary is realizing this and is preparing to move on. For me, this chapter is a sad one--good, but sad.

Author's Response:

Hi Macywinstar,

Sorry to have made you sad  :(  But Jim letting go of Gary is a very necessary step to enable him to move on and start living again. But yes, sad chapter, and there may be a couple of other’s to come.    

Yeah, I think Gary is realizing he’s been more successful with his plan than even he expected.  Poor Gary, he’s doing the right thing by Jim, but at the same time it’s bound to hurt.  He’s doing a selfless thing by paradoxically acting inconsiderately and selflessly. 

Thanks for your lovely review.

~x

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/31/2015 12:26 PM Title: Chapter 17

Yep, Jim is falling in love. My goodness your description of the beach, what Jim is experiencing as he walks along there is breathtaking. Such attention to detail, I feel like I'm there with them. I love this line:

 The air is so pristine and sharp that Jim pulls in a great lungful, and then lets it out is a long soft exhale. The day is suffused in the scent of sea air, clean and salty.

You are also very descriptive while they were eating the Coffee Garden. You started the story off with other customers, going into great detail what they were wearing and doing. Even down to that bacon cheese burger Jim was eating. Made my mouth water.

 Where did you get all your information about the Voroth Sea? Your Spock voice is perfect. 

Jim can't help thinking of Gary the time he's with Spock. He admits to the attraction, but submerges it into his subconscious. But, how long before it will surface up again? 

Excellent chapter.

 

 



Author's Response:

 

Dahliaxat,

Thank you so much for your lovely words about my writing. Words such as ‘breathtaking’ Wow! I don’t know what to say. Thanks :)

I love reading stories that pay attention to detail, which is probably why I try and include as much of it as I can in this story. 

I’m so glad you think my Spock sounds like Spock.  When I first started writing this fic, I thought that Spock would be the hardest to write, voice wise, being so formal and emotion suppressing.  In fact, I probably rely too much on the eyebrow rising thing to convey what he’s feeling.  However, as the story has progressed, I find he’s not too bad to write. Bones, I love writing.  Strangely out of the trio, it’s probably Jim who’s the hardest of the three.

I looked up the Voroth Sea on the ST Wiki page, but it gave so little info about it there, (other than the Fire Plains stuff etc.), that I just googled a load of Earth seas (Red Sea, Dead Sea, North Sea etc.), and mixed and matched the stats for depth, width and salinity etc.  If I’d just plucked figures off the top of my head, it’d be either a rain puddle or an ocean, and by mixing the stats from more than one sea, it can be made to look unique to Vulcan.

And yeah, Jim can deny and suppress his growing feelings for Spock for only so long before he has no choice but to face them.

Thanks again for your comments.

~x

Reviewer: Dunyazad Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/30/2015 10:26 PM Title: Chapter 17

This was an excellent chapter. I think this is what I have been needing and wanting in this fic for many chapters now, seeing the depths of Jim's conflicted feelings about Gary. "Better than nothing, more than he ever thought possible" -- but obviously, far from what he needs to satisfy his need for love and companionship. The use of the elderly couple as a kind of objective correlative of Kirk's needs was brilliant. And juxtaposing Kirk's thoughts and feelings about Gary with his feelings about Spock was a very effective narrative choice.

Indeed, it would have helped me if the story had dwelt more on Kirk's emotions when Gary returned. I imagine Kirk's joy was tempered by the graduali realization that this is and is not the old Gary, and that Gary is still dead. And I would love to see the gradual withdrawal of intimacy. It's hard to believe you lack experience as a writer -- your writing is so good. Your command of prose style is superb, and in many places, such as the beginning of this chapter, you have an amazing ability to convey emotional depth. I have a hard time imagining the things an author leaves out, thus my incessant demand to be shown, not told. Keep up the great work!



Author's Response:
Dunyazad, 
 
Wow! Thank you for your lovely words about my writing.  I’m kind of overwhelmed right now, *huge grin* I’m so glad you liked the chapter, especially if you’ve found some previous ones lacking. I apologise for that.
 
On reflection I think you’re probably right about the story needing a couple of extra chapters dealing more with the first few weeks of Gary’s return and Jim’s changing emotions as he realizes that things are not the same and his reactions to the withdrawal of intimacy etc.  Thinking about it, I may have rushed the characters (Jim’s especially) emotional journey, so to speak. 
 
I guess this is what I mean by not being experienced enough as a writer.  I tried to show what Gary was like and how their relationship used to be by having Jim’s memories tell us (i.e. the cloud dialogue in the park, the bike ride to the shipyards etc.) so that readers could compare it with how it is now (i.e. now that Gary is working to an agenda of surreptitiously helping Jim to move on).  I don’t think I was wrong in that, as plenty of people seem to be enjoying the story, but I also think I could have made even better choices like maybe spending a little more time showing their relationship in the immediate days/weeks after Gary’s return.
 
I suspect there may be future chapters that could possibly fall a bit flat for you.  I’m sorry for that, but hope that you can continue to read and review.  You make constructive observations and keen insights and I value your reviews.  Your comments make me think, and I thank you for that.
 

Reviewer: macywinstar Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/29/2015 6:17 PM Title: Chapter 17

Jim is falling in love and fighting it every step of the way.



Author's Response:

Hi macywinstar,

He sure is (to both your statements).  Hopefully, at some point, he’ll stop fighting it.

Thanks for your comments, and for continuing to support the story :)

~x

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/25/2015 7:59 PM Title: Chapter 16

It was tough saying goodbye to Bones, but Jim did it. He's going to miss him. Love the humor between these two, not to mention cupcake as well. Jim doesn't know when to stop.

I like the fact that Jim wants to have Spock as another friend, like Bones. 

Seems to me that Jim deep down likes spending time with him. He claims that he can't wait to go home to see Gary, but is it really the same anymore. Gary can't leave the apartment, they can't go anywhere together. What kind of life is that? Don't get me wrong, I think many of us would love to have our loved ones back from the grave, but if you can't go anywhere with them, what's the point.

Gary and his dead friends are having a great time, even though there cold. While Jim is so damn hot. Literally!!! 

I didn't get to see the movie yet, and I really want to see it. I really have to put some time aside to do just that.

It seems to me that Gary is purposely annoying the shit out of Jim so that one day he's going to have enough of him, and finally just say: "I have had enough, you hang with your dead friends, I'll hang with my friends who aren't always complaining that they're cold." He'll say it, in a fit of anger. 

Gary wants Jim to let him go. He wants it to be Jim that finally cuts ties between them. Only then can he move on...

 

 



Author's Response:

Hi there :)

Thank you for your lovely review, *big hug*

No, Jim doesn’t know when to stop, and it often leads him into trouble ;)

He has a real friendship growing with Spock now, doesn’t he? I think you’re right too, about Jim enjoying spending time with Spock.  He’s just not consciously aware of this yet.  I love me a bit of oblivious Jim :) At this point he’s oblivious to so many things; Gary’s agenda, the fact Nyota is Uhura, his own feelings for Spock.  Bless him.

No, it’s not the same with Gary anymore; apart from the obvious fact he’s dead.  This chapter highlights the growing divide, with the first part showing Jim’s close and relaxed relationship with Bones as opposed to later in the chapter Jim’s current relationship with this ‘new’ Gary, who’s slowly becoming a stranger to him. 

It’s so great that you can see why this is – (Gary is purposely annoying the shit out of him). Yes, he wants Jim to let go.  It’s selfless on Gary’s part, an act of love. Though to achieve that end he’ll probably have to become even more annoying, ha!  I wonder how long it will take Jim to snap.  It’s not like he’s a particularly patient man.

I know what you mean about finding time for things; there are never enough hours in the day :)

Thanks again for making my day.

Reviewer: Dunyazad Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/23/2015 6:12 PM Title: Chapter 16

The surrealism escalates in this chapter, emphasized by the contrast between Jim's and McCoy's easy friendship and the strangeness of Jim's interactions with Gary. I can't seem to "get" what Jim expects or even what he wants from Gary at this point. There seems little intimacy in their relationship, for a couple who were so close that Jim was completely devastated by Gary's death, yet Jim doesn't seem to question that absence. I'm surprised they haven't talked about the questions Jim wants to ask -- avoidance, perhaps? 



Author's Response:

Hi Dunyazad,

Thank you for your thoughtful review.  I’m sorry for not responding sooner, but your review caused me pause to stop and think, and mull over your points.  As always, you make some very good points, and it’s likely I’m not experienced enough at writing to be able to show clearly the characters motivations and expectations etc.  That’s a fault on my part as the writer. 

But, this fic is what it is, a first time piece of writing from a totally novice writer, and will have to stand as that in all its flaws. 

However, it’s also probably quite true that Jim himself doesn’t really know what he expects or wants from Gary at this point. It’s certainly a surreal situation he finds himself in.  I think in many respects Jim’s pretty confused at this stage.  And yes avoidance is a key issue here. 

As to no intimacy and the strangeness of their interactions, again this is true, but I meant it to be like this.  Don’t forget Gary is working to his own agenda here (as per the challenge in the front page summary).  As Jim is working to an agenda (and not being totally honest) with Spock re: the Maru, so Gary is with Jim.  

When Gary first arrived back from the dead, Jim was happy and there was intimacy, and Gary was still the man Jim remembered (maybe I should have included a couple of extra chapters to show this. I’ve probably moved too quickly and this could be a point where the fic has suffered).  But as the weeks have gone on, Gary is effectively closing down this intimacy, both physically and emotionally; pushing Jim out of the house, withdrawing emotionally, not wanting to get back in the shower with Jim, and so on.

I want a widening gulf between them.

However, you make a very good point about Jim not questioning the absence of that intimacy.  I probably should have covered that sooner, but rest assured Jim does increasingly start to question it.

Also, like a couple of other reviewers have pointed out, Jim is beginning to move on, he’s just not consciously aware of it yet. This fact could be hindering Jim from taking the necessary steps to close that intimacy gap.  

Dahliaxat makes some of the points I’m trying to make here much better in the review above this one.  But, it could also be that I could be writing this whole thing better :)

I hope my sloppy writing isn’t hindering your enjoyment of the story, and I hope you go on reading and reviewing.  I really value your reviews, as they’re always thoughtful and constructive without flaming. 

 

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/17/2015 11:58 AM Title: Chapter 15

I enjoyed it. I loved Jim and Spock's conversation on the meaning of life after death. Jim keeps thinking he shouldn't have asked Spock, but Spock doesn't mind. He's actually pleased to have Jim in his presence. 

Love the humor from Chekov. He's hilarious, not to mention, the humor coming from Bones.

The ending of this chapter made me smile. It was good to see Jim finally laugh for once, and that hug must have felt good as well. 

Looking forward to more my friend.



Author's Response:

Hello there, friend :) 

Thank you for the kind words, and for your continued support, it’s much appreciated.  I know I keeping saying that but it’s true. 

I’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter. Hopefully, others enjoy it too, though I doubt it’ll change my mind about this one.  

Yes, it's great to see Jim laugh again. He’s been a while now (well, before Gary came back) without any reason to feel happy or optimistic for the future, poor thing. I wanted to show how far he’s moved on from where we met him in the first couple of chapters (which is quite far, really).

Did you get a chance to see TMD?  If so, what did you think?

Chapter 16 will, as usual (barring a catastrophe), be posted next Saturday.  

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/08/2015 5:22 AM Title: Chapter 14

What a nice time Jim had with Peter and Spock.  Jim seems to be getting along much better with Spock.  I'm glad that Jim is no longer resentful towards Gary, and is taking responsibility for his own hangover. Now, we have Jim wanting to ask Gary a question that he has been dreading for awhile. But, out of the blue George shows up. That was a very interesting ending. So George knows... Love the story, and you've picked up a few new readers. Looking forward to your next update.

Author's Response:

Hi Dahliaxat,

So…you were right about Jim bumping into a certain someone in the park ;)  Wasn’t really difficult to guess, was it? Ha.  Looks a bit like matchmaking on Gary’s part too, what with all the strange coincidences of Jim bumping into Spock?

Yes, there’s a real genuine friendship now beginning to build between Spock and Jim, (outside Jim’s plotting re: the Maru). 

I think Jim has loads of questions for Gary. I mean, who wouldn’t if their dead lover arrived back in their lives? George turning up rather ruined the moment though, so the question is, will Jim pluck up courage to ask another time? 

Thank you very much for reading so far, and continuing to review :)

Reviewer: jat_sapphire Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/08/2015 3:56 AM Title: Prologue

It's nice to see a Gary story!  Especially one that treats him as a human being, not a monster. I feel you've found a Jim in between his TOS and Reboot character, which I also enjoy.

Also, I'm glad to see someone pick up this challenge, as I am another fan of Truly, Madly, Deeply



Author's Response:

Hi jat_sapphire,

Thank you.  Yeah, portrayals of Gary in fanfic, other than scum bag, are as rare as hen’s teeth, ha!  Which is a shame really, as it’s clear in TOS that he was changing and he hadn’t always been what he ended up as.  I’m not knocking other writers, not at all, but I’d like to read more stories with Gary Mitchell as more of a fully rounded human being.

You know, I didn’t think of writing a Jim between TOS and Reboot.  I never thought of it like that. But now that you mention it, I’d be really pleased if that’s how it’s interpreted.  So, thanks for making me :)

I was trying to write reboot Jim a little more mature, with the cocky edges dulled a little, as I think loving so intensely and losing that loved one so young in life had a profound effect on him.  It means he's a little more grown up than the reboot version.  That was my thinking anyway, so I’m very happy if he’s between the two versions of ST Jim.

Thanks again for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful review.

Reviewer: macywinstar Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 05/07/2015 9:47 PM Title: Chapter 14

Jim is starting to move on whether he realizes it or not. I think he's starting to feel a friendship with Spock. I like the exchange with George. Those who have loved deeply seem to just know that the ones they love are always with them and can sense the same in others as well. Great chapter.

Author's Response:

Hi macywinstar, welcome back.  It’s great to hear your thoughts again.  Yeah, Jim is starting to move on, but he isn’t really aware of that yet.  He’s certainly warming to Spock, though.

I love your words/interpretation regarding George.  Yes, people often do know their loved ones are always with them, even if only in memory.

Thanks for the lovely review  :)

Reviewer: Dunyazad Signed [Report This]
Date: 04/26/2015 5:13 AM Title: Chapter 13

I really appreciated the bonus chapter. The mystery of how Gary could "return" from the dead continues to deepen. In the last chapter, Kirk and Spock seemed quite drawn to each other, and Kirk was not in quite the hurry to get home to Gary that one would have thought, given how devastated Kirk was by Gary's death. And then in this chapter, Kirk seems dependent on Gary's presence again. You balance the real-yet-surreal quality of Gary's "return" very well.



Author's Response:

Hi there,

Thank you :)  Sorry for the delay in responding. 

I love your description regarding the situation with Gary, 'real-yet-surreal quality.' That’s more or less what I’m aiming for, so it’s great that it’s coming across to readers.

You say Jim and Spock seem drawn to each other, especially as only a short time ago he was grief stricken and in despair, but then in the next chapter he is dependent on Gary again.  You’re right; it is a bit like that.  And I’m glad readers are bringing their own interpretation to the story. Any story is what we take from it.  There is no right or wrong way to ‘see’ it. 

My reasoning was that when Jim agreed to go the café with Spock, he did so partly out of irritation with Gary for pushing him out the door and telling him not to hurry.  It stung a little as he’s so wrapped up in Gary, and so it hurts when Gary doesn’t appear to feel the same.  There’s also a bit of confusion as to the subtle changes he can detect in Gary’s character.  So he took the opportunity offered him to spend time with Spock (thinking about the Maru). If he has any attraction or developing feelings for Spock, then it’s subconscious on Jim’s part.  He’s oblivious Jim, which is one of the best Jim’s anyway.

In the following chapter he is back with Gary, and maybe he is a little dependent, but it’s more that what he wanted most in the world has been granted him, Gary back. 

But mainly, the reason why these chapters seem ‘disjointed,’ is actually what you said.  When he’s out of the house, i.e. at the Academy, with Spock or Bones, then his time in the house seems more surreal, almost dreamlike, (I mean boyfriend back from the dead, WTF!).  So it’s almost like a very small subconscious part of him is beginning to let go, kind of (which is healthy).

When he’s with Gary it feels real.  He’s living two separate lives now, a private one with Gary (which he can’t talk to anyone about) and one outside his home, with everyone else. 

These were my thoughts as I wrote the chapters.  It could be, being inexperienced, I’m just not very good at paining the picture I want to paint, but it doesn’t matter anyway as I’m happy for people to bring their own interpretation to the story.

Thanks again for taking the time to review; it’s appreciated, as always. I hope I don’t let you all down :)

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 04/24/2015 7:18 PM Title: Chapter 13

So very glad for the update. I just love, love, love how you write their conversations. It's so natural. Lots of humor as well, not to mention that knack of yours of describing things. Having a hangover like you described it, sounded horrible. I could actually feel the sunlight coming in through the window burning my retinas...lol.

I love your Gary, he isn't at all like the Gary we knew from the original series, then again, many writers write him as a bad guy, when they have to remember if you watch Where No Man Gary was changing. There were brief moments where he was his old self again. 

When Aurelan mentioned Deneva, and that Sam was going there it made me cringe. 

Now, we have Jim going through the house looking for Gary and Gary popping up almost giving Jim a heart attack.  Why do I get the feeling that by bringing Peter to the park, Jim will bump into someone he knows. Hmmm Coincidence? Gary is playing matchmaker again.

Awesome chapter as usual. Looking forward to more when time permits.



Author's Response:

Hi Dahliaxat,

You love the dialogue.  Wow.  You’ve made me so happy. Thank you, really. I thought dialogue was one of my weakest points, along with telling not showing (there’s other stuff).  I mean, I’m sure it’s still one of my weaker points but you’ve really made my day :)

I keep thinking I should be careful with how humorous it is; as there’s supposed to be plenty of angst (and I don’t really think I’ve managed that). But then again, at this stage Jim is happy, as Gary’s back.  From his POV, life’s at this moment is pretty damn good, though not without some worries (as we will see). 

I’m glad you love Gary; he needs more love in the fandom.  Nobody ever seems to cheer his corner :)  As there’s no guide in fandom for his character (other than sleaze ball), and as he was only in one episode, I’ve had to pull inspiration from  a) a tiny bit from Alan Rickman’s portrayal of Jamie in TMD and b) from my own head, how I think he would be if he was a pretty decent guy instead of slime.  Ha!

I don’t think I’m revealing anything you haven’t already worked out, by saying the next chapter will be with Jim, his hangover and Peter in the park.  Will he bump into someone he knows? Is Gary playing matchmaker?  You’ll just have to read the next chpt to find out, ha! :)

Thanks for your lovely review and for continuing to read.  At least I know someone’s still following the story.  I had other regular reviewers but I’m not sure if I’ve lost them :( or they just don’t review too often.

So, thanks again for taking the time to leave a review and reassure me someone’s still following.

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 04/21/2015 6:44 PM Title: Chapter 10

This is so intriguing. Such a mysterious as to how is Gary alive and can't leave the house. Plomeek never did look quite appetizing. How strange that Jim happened to encounter Spock at the same place. It's almost like Gary is physic. Knowing the precise time Jim had to leave to get the dried plomeek in order to meet Spock. What are the odds of them bumping into each other? Spock really did sound apologetic. It's almost like Gary is playing matchmaker without Jim's knowledge and Spock's knowledge as well. So, we have Gary who likes the temperature in the apartment to be higher than for a human but more appropriate for a Vulcan. Gary is cooking Vulcan cuisine, he is learning the language...etc... I wish I knew what this is pointing to. Jim is so happy now because of Gary's return. I keep wondering how long this is going to last. Now, Jim feels bad about how he has been treating Bones. I'm sure they'll have a good chat between them. Awesome story, off to read the next chapter.

Author's Response:

Hi there, Dahliaxat,

Hmm, mysterious, yes :)  Strange ‘coincidences’ do indeed seem to be happening, and it certainly seems like Gary could by trying his hand at matchmaking.  We shall have to wait and see ;)

Yes, Jim’s ecstatic at the moment. Why wouldn’t he be? The person he loved and lost, so painfully, is back.  It’s why at this point Jim can only see Spock as a potential friend and source of Intel on the Maru.  But you’re right, for how long has Jim got him back. 

I’m so happy you think it’s intriguing and ‘awesome’ *blushes* I’m just afraid I might end up letting you all down.  *Thinks to herself – what if it doesn’t go the way they want?* 

I hope you didn’t find chapter 11 disappointing.  I’m wondering (and fretting - in my nervous fan fiction writing inexperience way), if it was too humorous (for a story that supposed to be angsty) and over long.  I’m finding my chapters getting longer the more I progress with the story. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not. 

Thanks for reviewing. I really do appreciate your lovely thoughtful reviews, and the fact you're sticking with the story.  Next chapter up on Saturday as usual.  

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