Date: 09/26/2014 3:05 PM Title: Chapter 1
Hiya - balance was meant literally, as in, it took me a while (perhaps, I shouldn't admit!)to figure out that Spock must be kneeling tall or kneeling back on the bed, when he's topping Jim, because how else would he hold himself up/balance - and, the bath must be a deep one, like a hot tub, at the beginning... Oh, the conversations we have on this archive! We shouldn't, more than likely! Just a throw away couple of lines would sort that, and help idiots like me. cos I had to stop reading, figure it out, and continue on.... Also, as far as words that translate for anatomy - 'member' is one... Oh, again, the conversations with total strangers!! The story is, overall, very amazingly written though!!!!
Date: 09/25/2014 9:01 PM Title: Chapter 1
VERY HOT, very well written for the most part - though I think balance would be an issue in some places (!) - it's all about angles! - And, the shape of the bath (!) at the beginning! I'm far from naive, but I did think 'balance?' a few times! The emotional stuff - and the confiding moments are more than enough to make this worth reading NOT just for the sex (just, maybe, think up a few more words for their anatomies, now and then)....
First off, thanks for taking the time to review!
Next, I think you're right in many points, I will, for example, add some descriptions (eventually). Not too many, however, because I want people to form their own pictures in their minds. But there is something that needs more emphasis.
Anatomical descriptions are something I have a problem with. You see, I have an aversion to the more vulgar words as well as the Latin ones because I both diminish the romantic aspect. That's all me, of course, but I can't feel the one is crude and the other too clinical. The more colourful metaphors often border on the ridiculous. I'll have to jump over my shadow in one way or another, however. Here, too, you are right, of course.
I haven't got the least inkling what you mean by balance, though. But I think there we're back to precise descriptions that I abandoned for the sake of brevity.