Date: 09/11/2014 10:33 AM Title: He Who Forgets
[Long exhale] last two were some very heavy intense chapters, my brain needs a massage b/c it aches from all that's going on. From the side thank for being, for me, overly gory or prolonging the agony. The writing was so good and "controlled" at portraying the hell they're going through more would've taken away from it. When I used to watch horror movies it was never the saw/ax types that got me but the truly creepy ones.
As for content, YAY Jim! Yes, spock is always my hero but what jim overcomes given that he is a mere mortal is SO INSPIRING and his devotion to Spock AMAZING which is what makes this relationship one that lasted 50 years :)
Date: 09/11/2014 12:38 AM Title: He Who Forgets
What was it that made it in the end impossible for Jim's mind to be conditioned anymore, I wonder? Was it that the request of physical intimacy triggered in him the longing for the deep unity in the bond and therefore opened a breach in the walls constructed by the Guardian?
I love you for making the f'ylao'tri arachnids, I've always been much fascinated by spiders and can't understand the irrational fear and abhorrence they generate in many. It's nice to see a arachnid species with telepathic capacities and a caring and protective attitude.
Excellent question! It was, as you say, partially a trigger associated with the bond (which is still there, but unknown by Jim at this time), and also of pathways Spock utilized when he first defended Jim's mind on the transport ship. Jim's feeling for his bondmate goes incredibly deep, and we've seen with Eloida's responses that strong emotions can burst through the conditioning, especially when they are sudden or unexpected. In Jim, his deep feeling leads the way, and his mind knows the pathways (as Spock said right before they were transported to the village). The rays simply no longer are effective at that point.
Oh, I'm glad you liked the arachnids! My oldest son has a close-up picture of a spider on his wall and I found myself looking at it a while ago and thinking how it could be used in a story. And much like the Horta, these are intelligent creatures, and initially misunderstood. And, at this point in the story, I found it necessary to have Spock find a kindred spirit, and an affectionate one. And A'lazb will be a faithful friend in what's to come.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! -Cate
Date: 09/10/2014 8:59 AM Title: Asunder
I knew by the chapter title what I was in for. Great chapter...the pain of reading Spock be taken up to that wall and knowing Jim had to watch. so painful!! I love it! I'm sitting on the edge of my seat here waiting for the rest!
Yeah, that title pretty much said it all; I wanted readers to go into it with a sense of foreboding. So glad you're enjoying it, and the next chapter is coming quickly! Thanks for reading and reviewing! -Cate
Date: 09/10/2014 2:54 AM Title: Asunder
*remembers finally to breath again* - This chapter is of an incredible intensity and I marvel again and again at your narrative skills. The way you depict Spock's being dragged to the scaffold by auditive impressions is truely amazing and very effective.
I find Spock's reaction to the whole situation very Vulcan, the way he lets unproductive thoughts and considerations slip away to concentrate on what he has to do, the way he is able to accept things as they are and take what he has to change an outcome that seems inevitable, even the way he acts upon the surge of panic, his eidetic memory prompting instantly Jim's phrase about it.
I'm looking foreward to see what is going to happen with the f'ylao'tri...
Hey there! So glad you caught the change in voice for Spock's POV-I tried to make it noticeably different than for Jim, and am glad that came across! I always thought Spock had an advantage over other Vulcans in that he would not fall apart if confronted by emotion. He is more familiar with it, himself, and through his friendship with a very emotive human (or humans, when you count Nyota and even Bones) as well as his relationship with his mother. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! -Cate
Date: 09/10/2014 1:00 AM Title: Asunder
Oh no, Jim and Spock were caught and now I'm so worried for both of them (especially Spock - his fate doesn't sound promising!). Such an intense chapter.
They're in for a rough couple chapters-but Spock's plan was inspired by his bondmate's penchant for desperate last-minute successful solutions, so don't count him out! Thanks for reading and reviewing! -Cate
Date: 09/09/2014 11:13 PM Title: Asunder
soooo intense. My favorite chapter thus far (but you know I have the biggest dark side out there) Loved everything about this chapter. the emotions were amazing. Knowing that Jim had to watch Spock go over that wall (and probably as himself since spock heard him call out through the bond) was just heartwrenching!!
Yeah, Jim was able to snap out of it just in time to see his bondmate get pushed over. :( Thanks for reading and reviewing, as always! -C
Date: 09/08/2014 12:04 AM Title: Push
It's amazing how their different way of being and acting has this strong unifying denominator: to keep others - and above all the other - safe at any cost. Spock's controlled logic demands to keep them from bonding for the same reason Jim insists on going ahead following intuition. And for all the looming terrors I can't help but feel warm for that moment of perfect union they are granted.
You put it so well, as always! I so look forward to your comments, and thank you so much for all your support and encouragement! -Cate
Date: 09/07/2014 9:19 PM Title: Push
This was so beautiful and powerful. This is a connection that they both can't deny and I wonder if this bond will be discovered and what will happen to them. This is incredibly addicting to read. :)
So glad you're enjoying it! Their connection will be tested, sorely, but it is strong and true and meant to be and will outlast the darkness. Thanks for reading and reviewing! -Cate
Date: 09/07/2014 6:13 PM Title: Push
I've been reading these last two chapters very, very carefully. I keep going b/c you're one of my favorite and best authors on this site. And, as usual, your writing is amazing, and I've said it before, it sings when you write about Jim and Spock and their feelings for each other. Any trepidation is my own, over the past decade+ as the real world has become Orwellian in many ways, and torture, cruelty and tyranny have become not fringe elements but almost scarily mundane, I've avoided things that truly upset me not just angst. Do the ends justify the means is a classic argument starting w/high school, but ages ago I came in firmly on the "no" side - obviously an unpopular one for the current climate.
If creating a sense of dread, doom and foreboding were what you were going for - spot on! There are certain things that once I read, I can't "unread" so holding my breath. It's like watching a movie through the fingers covering my eyes.
Hi nml! I'm so glad you're still reading and, just a warning, the next chapter might be hard. One of the things I love about Star Trek is that the characters and the ideals always seem to bring light into dark places and offer solutions to impossible problems. There is bravery and loyalty and (with Jim and Spock) love that will save the day. It might not be real-life, but it lends its own sense of hope, however faint, that there is no such thing as a no-win scenario and that the Orwellian aspects of the world we live in can be fought and overcome. I hadn't intended this story to become so dark when I began it, but it seemed to go that way naturally. I did want to create a very real sense of horror with regard to the wall, and the casual indifference of the people in this place, which can be likened to real-life situations where we find ourselves trapped in a desperate place with a seemingly inevitable end and feeling like no one will help. But love will find a way, and luck helps sometimes, and we find unlikely allies in dark places. Thanks for reading and reviewing! -Cate
Date: 09/07/2014 4:03 PM Title: Push
Fuck Enterprise!!! Get your ass there before Spock get's thrown over the damn wall!!!
heheehhee, great chapter!!
The worst part is that there's a good chance no one even knows they're missing at this point-Jim and Spock are on thier own, and trouble's a-brewin'! I love your enthusiasm! :) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! -Cate
Date: 09/07/2014 12:38 PM Title: Push
awwwww they bonded!!! I loved that moment between them, and I can only imagine how much Jim is going to be able to feel now when Spock goes down below and gets the shit beat out of him again. Excellent chapter, and I'm eagerly awaiting more!!!
They did! Knowing this place, though, they may not get to enjoy their new connection for very long. (uh...more scary music?) :) I think the boys might run away if I try to involve them in my next story. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, as always! -Cate
Date: 09/07/2014 9:27 AM Title: Because Of Me
this society that spock and kirk are trapped in is greatly disturbing and chilling. Poor Spock and his role as an esne. To just stand there and let people beat the hell out of you. Of course Spock isn't going to be okay with that! I feel for both of them and I love how the mystery and the role of the people in this role is slowly inveiled. It shocks me every chapter. LOVING this story Cate!! It's one of my favorites so far because I enjoy dark things.
Yay! So glad you're enjoying it! When I started to write this story, I didn't intend to have it get as dark as it did, but I suppose when mind-control and evil computers mix there's really nowhere positive to go. :) Hopefully Spock and Jim can somehow figure out a weakness in the system before they run out of time! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! -Cate
Date: 09/06/2014 11:15 PM Title: Because Of Me
Thanks for showing us Kirk's determination, stubborness and yes, his ability to charm his opponents, in this otherwise deeply disturbing chapter. Looking forward eagerly to more.
In addition to "Jim vs. the evil computer", I wanted to throw in "Jim smiles and girls swoon". :) Thanks for reading and reviewing! -Cate
Date: 09/06/2014 11:06 PM Title: The Chosen Ones
The portrayal of the esne as scapgoats is chilling. This society reminds me of the computer-controlled society in "Return of the Archons" in which the computer's subjects let loose in periodic "festivals." But this is much darker and more disturbing.
Yes, exactly! This story got some of its inspiration from that episode, and my wanting to try a classic "Kirk vs. the computer" story! Thanks for reading and reviewing! -C
Date: 09/06/2014 10:18 PM Title: Because Of Me
omgomgomg!!! Poor Spock!! This is not going to end well for him! bless him! I love Jim's anger over what's been done to him. Loving this story!
Both of them are facing terrifying fates-and things are going to get worse before they get better! Thanks for reading and reviewing! -Cate
Date: 09/06/2014 12:01 AM Title: Because Of Me
I love the worriness and the protectiveness these two have for one another. Such an addicting story and I can't wait for the next one. :)
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! They do want to protect each other, and it's hard to accept that they might not be able to do so. -C
Date: 09/05/2014 11:58 PM Title: Because Of Me
Ahh, we are in the dark! The only points of light being a touch of hands that brings comfort and a faint link that ancors them to oneanother.
Their touch is so meaningful and intense, and a defining aspect of this story-so well said! Thanks for reading and reviewing! -Cate
Date: 09/05/2014 4:38 PM Title: Because Of Me
poor spock, and I love how he just hurts that entire time, but is only concerned for Jim. I felt for the klingon, and can only fear when it's spock's turn to go walking to that wall. I'm so hooked on this!!! Jim's supposed mate? ugggh...she gives me the creeps.
Spock does have Jim's well-being on his mind, no matter what, and this will be tested in a future chapter. I wanted a real horror feel associated with that wall, and the creatures on the other side, and Spock will, unfortunately, have to face it himself. *cue scary music* :) Eloida is creepy, and a bit of a stalker. She does *not* like Spock. Thanks for reading and reviewing! -C
Date: 09/05/2014 4:10 PM Title: The Chosen Ones
sorry for not reviewing in so long! this week has just been...well it's just been a week I want to be over. Of course, reading these lovely updates is always a brightener for me! Finally I know what the esne are, and damn, I feel for Spock. For them to just expect spock to stand there and take it? assholes. I cringe for jim's reaction, and how long spock can keep enduring this "expelling of demons" Great chapter, now i'm onto the next!!
I'm glad this story could take your mind off of real-world stresses for a little while, and I'm sending you positive energy for a brighter week coming up! I got a kick out of finding the word "esne" in the dictionary-wanted to have something that lent a feel for how long the Guardian had been about its business. Thanks for reading and reviewing! -Cate