Date: 05/23/2014 5:03 PM Title: Chapter 1: Meeting
I can tell this is going to be an interesting series. It is well-written and engaging. One thing interests me: It seems that this story is being told from Kirk's point of view, and you take the reader "inside Kirk's head" from the very beginning. But there are a few places where the point of view switches abrupty from Kirk to Spock, and one place where Spock does something that Kirk doesn't see, although we are told about it: "As he left the assembly hall, Jim snatched his room key, not noticing the Vulcan taking the same key from behind him."
One view about narrating a story is that there should be some kind of clear break before the perspective changes from one character's point of view to another character's point of view. Don't know if this makes sense, but thought I would mention it and ask what you think.
Date: 05/20/2014 9:07 AM Title: Epilogue: Stranger
That's one man under a potent illusion: Khan doesn't seem the one you can ask not to kill anybody.
That is why it's a plot point, because Aaron wants revenge, but he's not a killer. And you said it-Khan can never be trusted. Obviously he just wants to gain confidence; he just doesn't have enough resources to try and kill everyone yet. He has to start slowly until the campus is in chaos, and then he can try and take over. But he sees how vulnerable aaron is, so Aaron is the tool, not khan. :)
Great point :)