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Reviewer: Dunyazad Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/28/2013 3:44 AM Title: Until The Bow Breaks

Powerful, moving and filled with great emotional insight into Kirk and how his mothers' problems affected him. It was a painful story, but one that had to be written, and I am glad you wrote it. Good luck with your screenplays!

Reviewer: BatsNBirds Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/22/2013 4:47 PM Title: Until The Bow Breaks

That was really good. I didn't cry until, "Bye, Mommy." Literally that one sentence and there were tears, and it was funny because he said it, but that wasn't the end. I feel like a lot of times that scene would be the requisite big emotional rigamaroll, especially with the build-up of 'goodbye' via Spock, but you definitely showed a more natural and meaningful grief. The way you included various people's emotional situations, even Aurelan's and Bone's, without making all of it seem gratuitous and dragging, is fantastic. It's a lot of heavy emotion and information, but it doesn't seem like too much. It flows together. It's obvious that this isn't the end of the story, though the writing ends here, so I'm glad you're seeing more of it, even if it doesn't get written for a long time.


Thank you for writing and posting! Good luck with your screenplay-ing!

Also I love the title a lot.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much, BatsnBirds, for your kind and generous review. Unfortunately I had a lot of real life tragedy around me to pull from. I didn't want to make this fic too heavy because in my experience of grief, my own and others, sometimes grief is a pain that's present, but not always active. That's why I decided not to make this about resolution of Jim's grief, but more about Jim learning to see his mother as a human with terrible fallacies, and using this new information to heal some of his own abandoment issues. 

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