Date: 01/20/2013 12:06 AM Title: Chapter 8
Jane, Jane, Jane! What am I going to do with you? While I was perfectly happy to have a de-Golized Spock I find that I am heartbroken by a deVulcanized Spock. My poor baby! I feel so badly for him.
I have always found Spock's struggle for self very compelling and something that I really always got about him. I think there are a lot of people, especially young people, who struggle to figure out who they are, and Spock's struggle has always been very real to me. I could shake him over his holding apart from Kirk, but his tendency does seem to be to withdraw. Thanks for another chapter. I shall now go weep into my pillow for my poor Vulcan.
Sorry. If it helps, I'm well into Chapter 9 so, depending on how the week goes, I hope you won't be crying into your pillow too long. Thank you so much for reviewing.
Date: 01/18/2013 2:02 PM Title: Chapter 7
This has become one of my favorite WIP's (along with Spice) at the moment. I'm not worried about the whole medical problem sounding plausible since I, like you know nothing about it either so who cares? All I know is that your plot and characterisations are great, your dialogues ring true and I'm thoroughly enjoying the whole story so what more can a reader ask for? i'm certainly looking looking forward to more. You're a wonderful writer!
How incredibly kind of you. I'm constantly amazed by how nice people are: I shall commit your review to memory and remember it next time I can't figure out how to get Spock from one deck to another. I am so glad you are enjoying the story and fully intend to post the next chapter this weekend, despite massive alternative distractions on offer as two feet of snow settles in my back garden.
Date: 01/17/2013 9:30 PM Title: Chapter 7
Wow, okay - that was unexpected! Poor old Stonn, he wasn't such a bad guy...
You'd have been much crosser if I'd killed off Spock. Thank you so much for reviewing. I am trying to write Chapter 8 but keep getting distracted by the snow...
Date: 01/16/2013 11:30 PM Title: Chapter 7
"This was as good as it got – would have to be, would have to work, for everyone’s sake."
This line broke my heart a little - I can see Jim trying to convince himself. I also love how you write Bones. I wanted to hug him when he asked Jim about Spock's heart.
Also, Jim really should have watched Wrath of Khan so he'd have known what Spock was about to do. It was so blatantly obvious! I also apologize for finding it hard to suspend my disbelief on the medical stuff - which is very silly because I can ignore the disregard for physics from warp drive and transporters. Still, if Kirk's contaminated, should he perhaps be in isolation too? Ah well. Anyways, I find the loss of telepathy fascinating to coin a phrase. And interesting way to redeem Stonn, I have to respect his penance.
Thank you so much, I'm rather enjoying writing McCoy. I'm very conscious of re-writing Trek history here, which I'm slightly uncomfortable with and didn't intend to do before ending up writing a CT sequel - hence slightly cheating by building in overt references to TMP (Airlock Four) and TWOK, as you say. I know it makes it obvious and I hope it doesn't spoil the story too much. It's just my way of accommodating the divergence from canon. If I were less dysfunctional, it wouldn't be a problem.
Date: 01/16/2013 7:27 PM Title: Chapter 7
Aha! What a great idea. Oh, now, this is going to get really interesting. Didn't see that coming (although fully expected Spock to do some darn fool thing like taking deep breaths of an alien gaseous weapon of mass destruction just for kicks, sorry, just for self-experimentation -- at least I assume that's what he was supposed to be doing). A fully human Spock, eh? But perhaps we readers should be careful. After all, having is not the same thing as wanting. Or so I've heard.
One question re this section....
“Why is Spock alive and not Stonn?” he said to McCoy, eyes still on the biobed.
“Only one possibility, Jim. He’s only half human.”
I frowned too. Should McCoy's line read, "He's only half Vulcan." or possibly, "He's half human." ?
Gosh, you mean you're actually reading this stuff? Sorry, now corrected. And thank you for staying with me, regardless.
Date: 01/15/2013 7:09 PM Title: Chapter 7
Love your writing this is imaginative and given the whole area of psycho neuro immunology not too implausible. There is a lot we don't know about how immunity and endocrine system function together and a whole neuro endocrine system as well as the usual systems we consider. The implications for the future the routes now open to your fic are taking this tale where no author has gone bbefore
I love how you have explored the K/S dynamic in a military setting from the commander commanded point of view. Also your very strong characterisations and very male relationship mark your writing as something special.
Ah, thank you for this. it's amazingly kind. (I would say that there is a truly enormous amount I personally don't know about "how immunity and endocrine systems function together", but I was quite proud of myself for having heard of both of them.) And particularly thank you for your last paragraph, because that's very much what I've been trying to do - write the dynamic from the perspective of the military context in which I think they function (yet another context I know absolutely nothing about).
Date: 01/15/2013 2:55 AM Title: Chapter 7
Wow, I love the way you have intergrated TOS history into the weavingof your story, very neatly done.
So, I hang out with Dr's on a daily basis and I have to say, was not at all put out by the medical speak, or so called lack there-off, my belief was well and truely suspended though as it is when reading fantasy anyway.
I'm awonderin what your Spock is going to be like as a human and if this incantation will help resolve some things, or if his confusion and anger will surface and create more difficulties. Can't wait to find out.
See, I told you your job was more worthwhile than mine. Thanks for being so kind, although very much hope they don't treat patients your way like I've treated mine in this story... The great joy of writing FF is that there is a ready-made history there to reference, makes writing so much easier. See you soon.
Date: 01/15/2013 2:53 AM Title: Chapter 7
What a chapter. Realized I was barely breathing by the end, and of course, didn't want it to end. What a unique way in which to make Spock human. At the start of the chapter, I'd wondered if the virus would catch him and undue his Gol, but I hadn't anticipated this. Also had wondered if he'd save Stonn, or vice versa. But by now I should know you don't mix with predictability: I suppose if you do so at some point, though, you'll catch a few of us readers off-guard.
Liked Kirk's public address regarding his First. The question is, in the absence of Spock's humanity, would the intent have fallen on deaf pointed ears? As Spock blocks his receptors to all that is humanity, has his awareness of it languished?
I think you pillowed Spock away in sick bay in another story. I know the Vulcan can be a pain in the arse, but I hope you won't keep him quiet for too long. But seriously, I know you'll deliver something original and thought provoking for the new awakening. Until then, holding my breath and waiting for more.
Thanks so much!
No, please go on breathing... Apologies for sickbay, but you know it's hard to write a story about a military crisis with a doctor in a starring role and not occasionally revert to it. Don't worry, I won't abandon Spock there. Will go away and think up "something original and thought provoking", no pressure there. Thank you so much for this.
Date: 01/15/2013 2:46 AM Title: Chapter 7
I was delighted and surprised to see a new chapter as I had not expected another so soon. Poor Stonn! In the end, he turned out to be an OK guy after all. And Spock? Yikes! I hope that it is in the cards for Kirk to give him a thorough talking to at some future date and will look forward to another chapter when it is forthcoming. Thank you, dear Jane, for the highlight of my evening.
Hi, thank you very much for this. Lovely and unique for me to be anyone's highlight. Take care.
Date: 01/14/2013 8:49 AM Title: Chapter 6
I don't know how I missed this chapter; as usual, thoroughly well written.
As I was reading I was wondering what you do for a living since you have such a way with words and with the intricacies of interpersonal relationships and the internal musings that we all do on a daily basis. I wondered because my job involves working with people and helping them work out how they think and feel and how to create positive change. Anyway just musing on that.
Meanwhile back on the Enterprise, Spock's internal conflict and Kirk's response, at first quasi-accepting then fumingly angry resonated, you capture relational detail so finely.
Hmm, I'm trying to say, using way too many superlatives, that this chapter was as usual wonderfully well written, moved the story forward, for me anyway, and gave me some insight into Spocks thinking; but I'm overtired and not making a lot of sense so.....
Hello, how lovely to hear from you and thank you so much for being so kind about my writing. I remember you talking about your job before; it sounds much more worthwhile than mine. My job to an extent has the same objectives as yours, but at two removes from the people doing the real work. On the other hand, like everyone else, I have my own interpersonal relationships and that's where you learn. You always make sense, by the way. Hope you're getting some sleep.
Date: 01/13/2013 2:29 PM Title: Chapter 6
Well you did warn me... I've run out of chapters. Feeling bereft. This is one of my favourites so far. Spock's conflicted reaction to Stonn and his refusal to acknowledge what a huge mistake he's made trying to subsume his essential nature at Gol is just so well realised. And it's about time our captain got angry -- he's been remarkably sanguine so far and we know how Kirk uses controlled anger as an essential part of his armoury (along with pain on occasion). Perhaps it's time he followed McCoy's lead and stopped trying to be so reasonable. Sigh. Well the only upside to having read everything you've written so far is I have no more excuse to continue my own writing procrastination. I realise you have a big project on in January and a life too but I also know I join the rest of your thousands of readers in wishing you were able to post chapter 7 before too much more time passes.
Well, if you've read any of the review traffic on these stories, you'll have worked out that I am horribly susceptible to flattery and it does have the desired effect - pathetic, I know. I do know it's frustrating following a WIP and I'm grateful and appreciative to everyone who does; I aim to post a chapter a week but this week got derailed by being away for a few days for a family wedding. Have gone back to chapter 7 now. Good luck with your own writing, let's compare notes... Thank you again, very very much.
Date: 01/13/2013 12:05 AM Title: Chapter 5
Highlights of this chapter for me centre around the way you allow Kirk's humour and humanity to surface when faced with the utterly alien Gol eg his thoughts about why he can't simply transport in. And then this:
Kirk had always been surprised by those who professed to find Spock difficult to read. Once you had invested any time whatsoever in listening to him (and Kirk had spent absolutely none during Stage One and rather a lot in Stage Two), it was actually a lot easier to read Spock than anyone else... Spock... tended to reveal exactly what he thought in a more focused and direct way, and finding out what he was feeling was rather like following a trail of breadcrumbs to the gingerbread house. Spock always left breadcrumbs; exactly what they looked like or how many of them there were simply depended on how he felt or how quickly he wanted you to get to the house. It was as simple as that.
There were no breadcrumbs here, in this hallway at the door to Gol.
Yes, this is my JTK. Facing adversity with empathy and humour and determination. Just great writing.
Tiny point, really tiny (would change font size if this wretched and bizarre self correcting text box would allow)... Pressurised? Not pressured? (My old English teacher in my ear and visions of bicycle pumps).
Perhaps we had the same English teacher. You are absolutely right and I apologise and will go and change it now. Thank you so very much for all of this - it's lovely of you to bother to leave such substantive feedback and it's deeply appreciated.
Date: 01/12/2013 11:19 PM Title: Chapter 2
In depth philosophy and great plotting in one chapter -- I like the way you're making my brain do press ups while still keeping my emotions engaged. Anyone tempted to dismiss fanfiction as lightweight fluff should take a look at this.
Very forgiving of you, but you are now getting through these chapters a lot quicker than I am writing them, so beware!
Date: 01/12/2013 10:48 PM Title: Chapter 1
And so your great ST stortytelling continues. I knew you wouldn't let these two have any joy in their lives (I sometimes think all us Trek writers must have a slightly sadistic streak -- and maybe it's not just Trek writers). Two favourite sections (and it's hard to single them out): the dialogue with McCoy...
“Is that all?”
Kirk turned, genuinely mystified.
“What do you mean, is that all? I’ve just gone through the laws of physics and direct orders from HQ – is there anything I’ve missed out?”
“Just you, Jim. Just you. Was a time, someone suggested you take a six-month mission without Spock – your last, too, I figure – and you’d have found a way to wriggle round the laws of physics, let alone HQ. You’re taking this pretty easy, seems to me. Look – I’m not objecting to having a peaceful last mission without having every decent conversation reduced to three decimal places and none of my jokes appreciated. Just curious, is all.”
His blue eyes dwelt on Kirk’s, and Kirk deliberately looked away.
“All things end, Doctor.”
“Now I know something’s wrong. You’re talking Vulcan.”
Just so easy and believable. I love the way nothing jars when I'm reading our characters talk.
And then Kirk's letter to Spock... Same plaudits apply but with the additional kudos of hitting just the right note of 'so near and yet so far' with all Kirk's learned in CT. Oh the humanity...
Hello again. Thank you so much for this, it's really kind of you and hugely appreciated (especially from one Kirk fan to another). However, I would like to point out, in answer to your first paragraph, that I am not at all sadistic, I'm a gentle loving soul who would happily have left both Kirk and Spock to get on with things without me (and, incidentally, stopped tormenting the readers of this archive) after I finished Common Touch, but I was ruthlessly flattered into writing a sequel by the CT reviewers, one in particular, so if anyone is sadistic, it's her and not me.
Date: 01/11/2013 6:47 PM Title: Chapter 6
There is something wrong with the universe when Bones is the only one who gets what Spock needs and Jim's in the room. Or at least there is when this happens multiple times. I seriously want to lock Spock and Kirk in a room with the disease from naked time. Perhaps strapped down so they don't actually kill each other. Idiots! Will you not try to communicate?
Well, here's to hope that something changes for the better.
Thank you for sticking with it when it's clearly frustrating. I am discovering that this sort of frustration is much easier to bear when one is inflicting it instead of suffering it. I'm getting on with chapter 7, I know the pace is slower than the last story but I'm aiming for regular if not rapid fire. Thank you again for bothering to leave feedback; it makes such a difference and it's always lovely to hear from you.
Date: 01/10/2013 4:35 AM Title: Chapter 6
Another wonderful chapter. Thanks millions, Jane D. Liked the irony of it all coming back round to the rebuffed handshake, and the different sort of irony in that very notion itself; all this because of a handshake that wasn't?
You previously gave us a great Kirk-Spock spat, and now a more meaningful than the usual Spock-McCoy spat.
You have your characters ponder really wonderful questions, demonstrating an almost unmatched ability to get inside their heads. Having read the chess invitation/expected refusal 'scene,' I've decided you give Kirk more depth, make him a more complicated man, than Roddenberry or anyone else ever did. Quite honestly, I like your Kirk better than any other.
Thanks for the kind remarks. Always a pleasure...
This was particularly kind because, in a universe of Spock fans, I come to FF from a Kirk perspective, as I think you know, and I think he has to have signficicant dimension to have the hold he does over Spock and because ST is simply less interesting otherwise. So if all I've done is convert you, I can put down my pen (keyboard) now with a sense of accomplishment. I appreciate your reviews so much except for the terror that the spell is about to break with every next chapter...
Date: 01/08/2013 4:38 AM Title: Chapter 5
I loved so much about this chapter. It had me smiling broadly and 'feeling it,' alternately. Highlights: Kirk's ascent; descriptions of him and Spock sometimes blurred, so I wasn't sure which of them were under study at the moment, and then thought perhaps the effect was intended. Loved the lines (and all the imagery and more accompanying them); "The effort eased, suddenly, and he looked up to find that the ground had levelled. He had reached the gates." Moved by the reunion, on Kirk's behalf, and despite Spock's quietude.
In describing why Spock's voice is easy to read, and comparing him to those whose hearts haunt their sleeves, I thought you showed exacting understanding and discription of human--and hybrid!--emotional expression. Also commend you on getting inside Spock's head, and portraying what may be the best descriptions I've read of his inner experience and learning at Gol.
I also loved the humor: "Today it will be 45 degrees and cloudless. Tomorrow, too," and the fact that, as is so often done in Trek, it was paired with intense feelings and situations.
Many thanks, Jane D. I can't think of a story I've enjoyed more.
I can't think of a review I've enjoyed more, so we are, as ever, on the same page. Thank you so much for all your encouragement and understanding; I owe you much more than I can say. Wishing you lots of cloudless skies.
Date: 01/06/2013 4:39 PM Title: Chapter 6
I could just shake Spock...and Kirk...and Stonn. I like that McCoy is doing some advocating for my favorite Vulcan, even if Spock is not at his most lovable right now. I always thought even in the TV series that there was much more affection between them than they would ever admit. I am really hoping to see Spock de-Golized at some point. He iw wonderful without that facade, but I guess everyone has to find their own way to peace. Thanks, Jane, for another wonderful chapter. I am still crazy but I am still reading.
Thank you so much for reviewing and for keeping reading, even if it's inspiring you towards violence. Give me time and I'll get there - not in the next few days, I'm afraid, as I'm going away for a bit, but I'll get to it. Take care.
Date: 01/05/2013 9:55 PM Title: Chapter 6
Aaaaargh!!! I feel like I'm knocking my head against a brick wall with Spock!!! Grrr... Great chapter, I particularly love how you're writing McCoy and I also loved the line about how Kirk's personal logs talked back... brilliant stuff! :)
You always manage to pick out a particular line and make me feel entirely wonderful for having written it; thank you so much - thanks also for the feedback on McCoy; hugely appreciated. Don't knock your head against a brick wall... we like you the way you are.