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Reviewer: Geriatricfool Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/09/2014 12:39 PM Title: Chapter 8

No immediate back up, his First Officer incapacitated, the VSA Sub-Commissioner dead and the Seleya unreachable.  HQ, the task force and the rest of the galaxy out of communication range and a deadly plague reaching out to Vulcan.  The Enterprise isolated.  No real gains for the mission so far, then, he reflected, but on the plus side it did look aesthetically pleasing.


So powerful. What writing. 

Author's Response:

Thank you again.  It's very nice to come back from work to messages like this!  A definitive improvement to the working day.  You are very kind.

Reviewer: Aname Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 01/22/2013 4:58 AM Title: Chapter 8

Enjoyed this chapter immensely. Of course, I enjoy them all... So drawn into Spock's drama, I nearly suffered an identity crisis, and felt slightly woosey when the imaginary railing gave way. You take us into the minds of these characters as no one else does. Spock's reaction to Kirk's 'self-discovery through mental devastation' suggestion could hardly be otherwise. And yet, how can Kirk possibly help him, but to offer his friendship (albeit, awkwardly, given their history and current uncertain standing). So interesting, too, that Kirk so soon comes to question whether indeed Spock is still Spock and still someone he'd find as compelling without his Vulcan attributes. 

Excellent story telling. You never make it easy or simple. 

On the medical stuff, I've no issue. It'd seem sensible to assume that the bio-engineered virus is in part neurotoxin. Perhaps the Vulcan brain can repair itself (as humans can, to a degree); perhaps he'll need Bones, or a cure offered from the injuring party.

Many, many thanks, Jane. You are a real crowd pleaser and a wonderful writer.

Author's Response:

I think, as I've said before, you are better at reviews than I am at chapters.  When I grow up, I'm going to make casual use of terms like "neurotoxin" and then people will think I know what I'm talking about.  Thank you more than I can say for your encouragement and support and for all the effort you go to in leaving this feedback.

Reviewer: sierra scarlet Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/21/2013 1:22 AM Title: Chapter 8

So, we killed the Vulcan half, let's see if we can take out the human - yikes!


Anyways, in response to your reply to my comment last chapter, I would like to point out, that I  think it's great you're taking inspiration from the movies. It might help me predict some things, but I'm still on the edge of my seat over whether the boys will ever get their act together. In other words, I can't say you're predictable at all.


Also, I continue to get surprised with Saredin, but I think it's great that your characters are learning not to judge each other. Great job, looking forward to more.

Author's Response:

Hello again, and thank you so much, this is really kind.  I should say, in turn, in response to your second paragraph, that I hope I didn't sound defensive, because I really appreciated your review.  I understand that unpredictability is of value from the reader's perspective and that it's therefore a compliment and I appreciate it very much, but what I was trying to say, I guess, is that my primary aim is authenticity rather than unpredictability and that the latter is a bonus.  

I remember having to win you over to Saredin in CT, so I'm glad you're still being surprised!  See you soon.

Reviewer: Tydomin Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/20/2013 5:03 PM Title: Chapter 8

Hmm, so Kirk misses Spock and wants to be pals with Saredin?  Can't say I blame him - Spock's not exactly very approachable right now.  And speaking of Spock, I really enjoyed his internal monologue - it was very thoughtful and revealing.  Obviously you've some psychological insight into our favourite human/vulcan hybrid!

Look, I know you said you didn't want to hear anything about the medical side of things... but I just have a bit of a query.  Surely if Spock was injected with a chemical which disrupts the cortex/endocrine connection, wouldn't normal functioning resume once the chemical was eliminated from his body?  Or does this hydroxwhateverthehellitwas cause some sort of permanent damage to his synapses or something?  Or is the virus lying dormant in his body so he needs the drug to be continually administered to keep him alive?  I don't think you really explained this (or if you did I didn't notice - could be my fault, sorry!).  Anyway, it's not a criticism as such - just a little confusion which I'm sure you can work the answer of into the next chapter if necessary...

Still enjoying this story :D

Author's Response:

Hi, thank you so much for the comments on Spock's internal monologue.  Re the medical side of things - the sensible thing to do would be to suggest you don't take me too seriously and refer you to my disclaimer and say that I am not now, nor have ever been within a million miles of medical training and that I don't even pretend to know what I'm talking about and am only prepared to do the necessary research if it were my day job!  However, what I envisaged is that the damage to Spock's mental powers was caused by the virus, not by McCoy's treatment.  McCoy's injection of hydroxymethimazole (and I really cannot believe I am writing this as though trying to persuade anyone it's an even half-baked medical theory) was supposed to intervene to suspend the connection to the cortex sufficiently long to stop the virus killing Spock.  It killed Stonn, because the connection was wholly essential for his survival in a way it wasn't for Spock's.   There is another point to be made here, but it would be a spoiler, so if you're really interested, come back and ask me in a couple of chapters' time.

Reviewer: PaintedBird Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/20/2013 12:06 AM Title: Chapter 8

Jane, Jane, Jane!  What am I going to do with you?  While I was perfectly happy to have a de-Golized Spock I find that I am heartbroken by a deVulcanized Spock.  My poor baby!  I feel so badly for him.

I have always found Spock's struggle for self very compelling and something that I really always got about him.  I think there are a lot of people, especially young people, who struggle to figure out who they are, and Spock's struggle has always been very real to me.  I could shake him over his holding apart from Kirk, but his tendency does seem to be to withdraw.  Thanks for another chapter.  I shall now go weep into my pillow for my poor Vulcan.

Author's Response:

Sorry.  If it helps, I'm well into Chapter 9 so, depending on how the week goes, I hope you won't be crying into your pillow too long.  Thank you so much for reviewing.

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