Date: 08/16/2013 1:57 AM Title: Starfleet
I enjoyed the prologue and this seems really promising. Though I question Spock's age and I do realize that he's developing to express his emotions, but he seemed to be in his teens in the first chapter so it was abrupt when he called Amanda Mummy. I can see Mum if is he's about 10 or 11, Mummy just feels very young to me.
As for Starfleet HQ or Spock in school, I guess the question is whether you want focus more on Spock or Amanda right now. If Amanda, then Starfleet HQ, especially if you want to really develop Amanda/Pike, but school if you want to develop Spock.
Date: 08/03/2013 12:41 AM Title: Starfleet
I just found you story today, and I have read what you wrote so far and l like it. I do not mind that you have Spock learning to be more human, but I do hope that he will keep to learning to be Vulcan as well. I have always like it when he would find that balance between both and just be himself, Spock and not what others want him to be. I think you are writing Amanda just right because even though she is grieving badly she does have a lot going on and she knows that she has to make a new life for Spock and her self. You could probably write a little more about how Spock is seeing San Fransico for the fist time and then jump a few years ahead to see him maybe attending Star Fleet Academy as a cadet. I do see that you have not updated since January, and I do hope that you will be coming back and updating your story and finishing it up because I think you are doing a really good job here. :)
Date: 01/20/2013 4:17 PM Title: Starfleet
I don't think you made Amanda too happy. Even someone grieving the loss of a loved one can't think of them exclusively and Amanda has so much going on right now with the move and putting on a positive face for Spock - you did her just right! I enjoyed the chapter and thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to do it! :)
Phew! I got a bit worried, I did not want to overplay anything. That makes me feel much better actually, thanks :) I will endeavour to write the next chapter by the end of my half-term which starts on the 15th so... I am really bad at updating regularly, I am kind of panicking actually, my beta keeps shouting at me to write and I CAN'T D: Aaah well, sorry for ranting at you after your shining review :)
Date: 01/20/2013 2:50 PM Title: Starfleet
I really love this. Especially a more human Spock. Can't wait till he meets Jim and Bones. Very interesting. Yay.
Oooh yes, Bones... I am trying to work out how to time everything, so we will have to see, especially if I am keeping to Spock's POV... Thank-you for your beautiful review, it really helps :) Yay.