Date: 01/31/2013 10:35 PM Title: Chapter 1
Really enjoyed your story.
Love the part where Spock walks in on Jim and Spock Prime. ;)
Glad that you really enjoyed my story and yes the part where Spock walks in on Jim and Spock Prime I just thought that would be enough to make Spock really think about his feelings for Jim and decide to finally talke the plunge and admit them. Who knows maybe someday I will get inspired again to write another story and hopefully have a beta next time.
Date: 11/04/2012 8:08 PM Title: Chapter 1
That must have been a shock walking in on Jim and Prime!
I'm glad that they worked through it, though
Yeah I can almost see Spock with his eyes just about to pop out of his head :) . We know that he is Vulcan and he kept his control despite it all but as you see it did work out for the best for all concerned. Thanks for the review.
Date: 11/03/2012 4:01 AM Title: Chapter 1
This is so sweet and I LOVE THE HAPPY ENDING. XOXO
Thanks so much for reading my story and loving it despite my mistakes. Like I said it is my first and we learn from them so I hope that when I come up with a new story that it will be better than the first in all ways. :)
Date: 11/03/2012 3:46 AM Title: Chapter 1
I think there are some Livejournal groups where you can beg for a beta, including the kirkspock community, but it's really tough to get a beta these days. If you're in school maybe you can get a classmate or friend to beta? Or a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Thanks I will have to go over there when I have some time and see what if I can find someone. I loved you comment about maybe having a classmate or friend to do my beta. Well my friends are not into Star Trek and as for classmates well have not had those for a VERY LONG TIME, just to give you an idea how long I was about 7 when I first watched the original Star Trek show. That is fine because who knows I could have went back to school even at my age. As for a girlfriend/boyfriend well neither of those I am Very Single :(. Thanks for taking time though to read my story if you did.
Date: 11/03/2012 2:17 AM Title: Chapter 1
I was happy to see that you decided to write a Kirk/Spock story. It is never easy to write what is in our hearts when we think of these two. We want to say so much, and sometimes in our excitement, we make errors in spelling and grammar. but that can be corrected with help from others for we don't always see them.
I myself still make them, by accident, or because I didn't know. but we are only human.
I also like the premise of the story, what I would like to see from you in the future is a story from the original series. And it doesn't have to be long. Just take your time.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your kinds words and if I find inspiration again I will try and write it but I can only hope that I will have a beta if or when I find a story idea to write. If you have any ideas on you or where to find a good beta would love to hear about them. Thanks again for you encouragement.
Date: 11/02/2012 3:01 PM Title: Chapter 1
Loved the premiss for the story!!
Things others noted I will not. I was thinking there could have been a few more paragraph breaks. It also needed to be re-read because there were extra words where I could see where you started to say one thing then changed your mind and forgot to delete a word. I do it all the time. That's why I have a good friend read my chapters now before I even send them to my Beta.
In order to publish a chapter here I need to change the format to a text file first, then before I publish it I need to go through it and make sure that I put the things back in that don't come though.
Good luck with your writing!! Keep going.
Yeah I did try using another program to check for my spelling and punction it does not do all I need for it to do. I have alway been really bad at this sort of thing. I would have loved to have someone beta it for me but I do not know anyone that does that. If you or anyone you know can think of someone just have them contact me if they would not mind helping me. Thanks for your kind words and advice.
Date: 11/02/2012 2:47 AM Title: Chapter 1
This has definite potential, but as Hypathia Kosh already said, the lack of commas do detract from the story. Any of her suggestions will give you a quick fix for this though.
I tried another program and I hope that it fixed at least most of it and if not maybe someone can help because I do not have much choice with the programs on my computer. Thanks for you kind review.
Date: 11/02/2012 2:30 AM Title: Chapter 1
Mary, I don't see a single comma on the page. There might be some sort of weird incompatibility between ksarchive.com and the program you created the file in and uploaded your story from. I guess you can either edit online and put the commas back in--also need to fix some of your paragraph breaks, as some of them seem to be messed up--or export your file to rich text format and re-upload.