Date: 11/09/2012 4:58 AM Title: Chapter 7
I started to say I'd feel foolish trying to critique this work, challenged as I am to describe what I glean of your talents and to express how much I enjoy reading your stories, but given the effort you're putting forth, I'm obliged to make an effort.
I find the maturity of your writing slightly lacking in parts, but you counter with wonderful emotional breadth. Your understanding of people, relationships, nuances, and your ability to precisely pen them, along with a sense of irony, willingness to flip and spin these characters, imagination and vision of them beyond their familiar environments puts you in company of only a few, and perhaps leaves you a stand-alone among active Trek FF writers.
Many choose the OOC route when they want something beyond canon out of characters, offering a something lost-something gained (at best) variation of the characters. You give our cherished characters space to grow within their own fictional skin, making the journeys we take with them seem more authentic.
It takes special circumstances to make the self-aware/assured Kirk introspective: under circumstances you create, he'd have to be. And I applaud you for keeping him Kirk as McCoy knows him--not one to so extensively question himself in the company of others.
More intriguing is how Spock is revealed, and what he reveals to us and to Kirk. Again, circumstances make it all believable, and the unusualness draws us in for the very same journey of question, reflection, and discovery Kirk makes.
Kirk piloting shuttle to standing before Romulan Comander, without a word on transition, provided that idiosynchratic jolt I've come to expect from you;) You don't waste time on scenes apart from emotionally charged interactions, which I prefer over adding time between postings--and which is fine for FF, but you could, and perhaps do, go further.
Thanks so much!
I do think we are swapping places here, and that your reviews are now longer and more intelligent than my chapters. And certainly kinder. Much of what you say is overwhelming. I smiled when I read about the idiosyncratic jolt. In turn, I've come to expect a comment on it from you and find myself thinking about you when I put jumps in the text. I think this is partly how I write, to be honest, but there is an oddity about writing FF for this site - it's something to do with the reviews and wanting to deliver the next chapter to people who are bothering to read and therefore, as you say, only focusing on key elements of the story. It's also a feature of trying to get to the end so that I can stop reneging on other obligations, although I will miss it when it's finished.
Thank you very, very much.
Date: 11/08/2012 10:37 PM Title: Chapter 7
Mmh I begin to feel the idea of a relationship being redefined. One of the aspects of this fic is the total absence of fluff. It continues to have a realism of relationships that few other authors capture. If the new move captures this same sense of self exploration and maturation in Kirk with a very self aware Spock the writing team will have achieved something amazing. We however will remember the writers who got there before its release. There is a beautiful bleakness in what it happening now.
You are amazingly kind. What an extraordinary thing to write. And I'm so pleased if I've managed to be beautifully bleak! Thank you so much.
Date: 11/08/2012 9:44 PM Title: Chapter 1
Wow, it seems impossible but somehow you have managed to raise the tension up a notch even higher! Poor Kirk, what with Spock's seemingly sudden self-acceptance, you're starting to convince even me that his relationship with Spock was one sided...Ouch. I am kind of hoping we get to see Spock's perspective, again, soon? Your writing just gets better and better!
What a lovely thing to say; thank you so much; you are really kind. Trying to keep up with reviewers and I know that it's horrible waiting for chapterrs, but it's worth writing them just for the pleasure of hearing from everyone.
Date: 11/08/2012 9:24 PM Title: Chapter 7
Poor Kirk - I am totally in agreement with him about the fact that I've no idea where Spock's coming from!
This is so great - plot, intrigue, relationships, characters... It's a hell of a ride :)
I hope there's gonna be some Kirk/Spock or some Kirk-Spock, because they are just so wrong apart!
Thank you for reviewing so faithfully and for being so nice about the story. I am sorry about the divisions, but otherwise there's nothing to write about!
Date: 11/08/2012 8:37 PM Title: Chapter 1
please, please have Spock do a mind meld with Kirk and let him see how much kirk suffered. then maybe Spock would realize that maybe both of them had been suffering all along.
Thank you so much for reading, hope it hasn't been too painful!
Date: 11/08/2012 7:49 PM Title: Chapter 7
It amazes me the muddled truths and lies that come out during the scenes with the Romulan Commander and with Tal. Whether Spock was forced and whether or not they are brothers. Is it really Vulcans and Humans fighting each other, or is that Spock and Kirk?
But of course, where one is, the other will follow and Spock will always save Kirk if it is in his power and sometimes when it isn't. Kirk would do the same for him.
Anyways, thank you for the update and all, but please update again soon! I want to read the next chapter.
Thank you so much for staying with the story; next chapter coming up today, I promise.
Date: 11/07/2012 2:32 AM Title: Chapter 6
Wow, this is amazingly and complexly written. I admit to feeling sympathy for kirk... And kinda pissed at spock, lol. Although you have beautifully written him into a tight spot and i do understand his difficulty.... I just like it best when kirk and spock are a team and spock backs up kirk. it would be hard to be a subordinate when he's used to spock being his first officer... Especially with so little time to adjust... And gah, that romulan commander! Poor jim, I think he was jealous ;)
looking forward to the next update. I hope spock can come around and put jim first, rather than his culture that has always rejected him.....
It's interesting that in nutrek, jim is the outcast who has been rejected and devalued by starfleet.
Your last point is a really good one, it's not a parallel I'd picked up on. Another story. I'm afraid you won't like the next chapter much but it's a necessary stepping stone. Thanks so much for reviewing, it's hugely appreciated.
Date: 11/05/2012 6:34 PM Title: Chapter 1
This story is INCREDIBLE. I can't wait for the next chapter. You are a masterful storyteller :)
Not sure if I am, but you are an extremely generous and kind reviewer and (oh, the weight of expectation!) I will try to live up to it...
Date: 11/05/2012 7:16 AM Title: Chapter 6
I love this story! Cant get enough and i wait anxiously for each and every chapter :)
How incredibly nice of you to (a) like the story and (b) leave a review like that. I have a huge smile on my face, thank you so much.
Date: 11/05/2012 7:13 AM Title: Chapter 6
I'm kinda awed by Jim's restraint right now with Saredin. I can see that perhaps he and T'Mala could end up working well together though.
Things are heating up, so exciting..look forward to seeing how Jim deals with this one.
You are very kind and keep reading the chapters and leaving reviews and I do appreciate it very much.
Date: 11/05/2012 6:38 AM Title: Chapter 1
I truly don`t know what to say, many readers have already touched upon how they have felt reading the last few chapters and I don`t have my own words to be that eloquent, I so agree with them.
Such superbe story telling. I also wished to punch out Saredin, Jim`s a stronger man than I.
I wonder if Spock can sense Jim`s presence, if he heard the conversation of Saredin and Jim as they duked it out verbally, in a restrained manner of course.
I wonder if you`ll be having Spock`s point of view next, what is going through his mind as he fights for his life.
Now, something I was expecting, the Romulan Commander. Will wonders never cease?
Excellent chapter and others before that.
Thank you for saying it's superb story telling, that's so kind. As to your plot suggestions - not commenting! Next few chapters are all mapped out and half written, will update when I can.
Date: 11/05/2012 4:04 AM Title: Chapter 6
Oh, so good on so many levels... where to start...? First, I get the feeling from Kirk's final summary on Saredin that we're not supposed to like him, but I do. His devil's advocacy prompts Kirk and readers to examine the relationship with which we're all obsessed, and from angles unique to me. I was glad to see Kirk have to question his response to being under Spock's command.You write brilliant questions for Saredin to ask, and equally brilliant responses for Kirk. I find I can't root against either opponent.
It's hard to imagine that Saredin doesn't respect Spock, and I'm wondering if Kirk and Spock have both misjudged him. Maybe I'm projecting... too eager to believe that you're not writing full-blooded Vulcans as virtually everyone does--as a uniformly miserable lot (how could they stand each other? I hope Kirk learns that Spock hasn't found working with Vulcans entirely distasteful). I like the possibility that the crews may actually learn enough about one another to respect each other, and I love how you turn too easily accepted notions on their heads. I could write a page on this chapter, or any of the earlier ones, but I am out of time.
Thanks so much. Looking forward to the next installment--and re: your response to my last comments, you are too humble.
Oh, I can't begin to tell you how amazing it is to have my writing properly understood. With a reviewer like you, who needs chocolate? You can write my next book and I promise I will give it amazing reviews.
Date: 11/05/2012 1:32 AM Title: Chapter 6
Got a bit behind on reading, sorry about that... but yeah, great chapter. I like that you've shown how T'Mala is actually trying during this chapter - it's important to have character flaws in both the good and bad characters. I'm about ready to punch Saredin, but, well, we already knew he was an idiot.
Also, with that ending I hope you update soon - Spock not making that meeting seems like a very bad thing.
Thank you very much, entirely agree about the character flaws. And I will update soon, I promise, I just have a really bad week at work...