Date: 11/10/2012 10:03 AM Title: Chapter 8
On your note, thanks for explaining why you think Kirk doesn't know about that aspect of the trance. Of course I could recall that Spock could remember what had been said around him while in the trance and I figured Kirk knew and didn't mind. He seemed to be seeking some sort of internal honesty.
Spock is going to feel really dumb when he realizes that Kirk was just trying to finish the job while he was down and not taking advantage because he thought Spock was shit at diplomacy. Might take a while, though.
Thank you so much - like I said to someone else, I am going to give up writing chapter notes as it's evident to me everyone else knows much more about canon than I do! I think I suffer from complacency from having all my life known 5,000 times as much about Star Trek than anyone else of my acquaintance; I realise this is a different ball game.
Date: 11/10/2012 9:09 AM Title: Chapter 8
So eloquent, so much pain and Spock's anger was palpable to me.
The mis-cummunication between these two is so well written, they just keep missing each other, mis-queing behaviour, misunderstanding silence, it's like a train-wreck in slow motion. This is so beautifully painful - don't rush, it's good to wait for well-written pieces.
Thank you for enjoying it and for reviewing, what you say is really kind and much appreciated. And thank you for being prepared to wait!
Date: 11/10/2012 2:03 AM Title: Chapter 8
Spock has grown so much yet without ANY communication with Kirk about this growth has only lead to a widening chasm where they are moving farther and farther from each other because Kirk has not been privy to most of these realizations and they don't trust each other anymore and...it's painful...
Have now updated, not sure if it's less painful but thank you for hanging on!
Date: 11/10/2012 1:26 AM Title: Chapter 8
I wouldn't want to miss a word you wrote, yet all together, the POV's a bit over the top for Spock (might work better presented as meditation, where canon allows Vulcans to mull things over). You and I could dwell in such a way, but he'd be more disciplined, concise, expedient; would rein himself in with "Kaiidth" (sp?). POV's are the one place where I think you stray unconvincingly from canon, as almost all ff writers do--the crux of that maturity bit I mentioned earlier.
Women FF writers portray this friendship as a love affair, whether doing slash or not, and write the characters as more feminine than would be true to form or function even in slash affairs. Canon gave us a profoundly unusual friendship, one exceeding bounds of known male friendships: S & K regard themselves as better together than apart, as completing each other, but not as inseparable or co-dependent. They are self-directed, ambitious, mature, independent men (whether hetero., homo., or bi., I'd argue).
None of us without prospect of marriage would tie our futures to a best friend, or even to a brother or sister who wasn't dependent on us by way of disability. Yet this relationship is so often written as if to separate the two would be more tragic than burying a beloved sibling prematurely; as if these guys lack the strength to endure what the most ordinary among us is expected to endure--the absence of the most important person in our lives, at destiny's doing. It's tempting..., and I've been emotionally compromised by many such tales, but even more unforgettable are the very few that convince us that there's more to these guys than canon left us with, but never less.
There's far more good stuff to say about this piece (and I loved it!), but criticism can be as constructive as praise, and I don't want my critique to be longer than your chapter.
Sorry to hear that you feel rushed to produce, and to finish. We're all so grateful!
Date: 11/09/2012 10:44 PM Title: Chapter 8
This was great - a fascinating delve into things from Spock's point of view! The sense of hurt and betrayal is really potent here, and although we can see that Spock has got it wrong, you have imbued it with an emotional reality which we believe in spite of the facts.
Oh Spock, why do you always do what Daddy tells you? Grr, Sarek...
Thank you for enjoying it and staying with me. And for your later comment. It's not exactly a feeling of pressure from you guys, everyone is incredibly nice, it's much more of an internal thing, and I probably need to see someone about it!
Date: 11/09/2012 8:13 PM Title: Chapter 8
Yeah, everything I've read about Vulcan healing trances suggests that the Vulcan is completely aware of his/her surroundings. Thus, I assumed Spock was listening in on Kirk and Saredin's conversation - not that it seems to have done him much good... idiots.
Anyways, we got a whole new chapter and they still haven't talked! Evil I say. =P... okay, okay, it's been good to hear Spock's perspective on everything, but really! I want them to start trying to understand what's going on! Really!
More soon? Pretty please?
Well, that'll teach me to make assumptions about knowledge of canon; quite prepared to admit that everyone else is way ahead of me. Thank you very much for the review; planning to update tomorrow.