Reviews For If I Die
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Reviewer: Bree Thompson Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 10/01/2013 11:45 AM Title: Chapter 1

Waaaaah. I'm sobbing. This was beautifully heartbreaking. Well done.

Author's Response:

I was hoping for that very effect!  Thank you!

Reviewer: cgf_kat Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/08/2012 5:22 AM Title: Chapter 1

I always wondered if maybe McCoy was right in "Bread and Circuses" with his bold statements to Spock - saying that Spock was more afraid of living than dying because of the conflict between his Vulcan self and his emotions. This captures that idea perfectly, in a worse-case scenario where Spock DID, eventually, just give up. It's incredibly sad, but wonderfully written, and I think this needed to be shown. After I watched that episode, where McCoy said those things, I started to see it all over. he wasn't wrong, and it probably really is only thanks to Jim and McCoy that in the real timeline he DIDN'T give up. He went on to reconcile his two sides and accept who he was because he had friends who cared enough about him to not give up on him until he'd achieved it. Here, he didn't hold on long enough to realize that it could happen someday, and even though I kind of just want to cry it's beautiful. If that really is Spock there with him in the end, well, he got his chance another way. If least Jim is happy, and I can only hope Spock knows it wherever he really is. 

Author's Response:

see, I totally agree and that's why I wrote this (that and some angst issues of my own).  I think during TOS, Spock was pretty damaged goods, kept afloat by Jim and McCoy.  Something clearly happened at the end of the mission to send him to Gol and the subsequent movies detailed his emerging emotional health.  I always liked his character the best because of his fractured nature.  I like to think, with this story at least, in the end, they were together and all was healed.  Even if it was just Jim's imagination, at least in  his mind his unresolved issues were.  sigh.

Reviewer: missfae Signed [Report This]
Date: 10/08/2012 7:58 PM Title: Chapter 1

I liked this.  I liked it alot.  Thank you for posting. hugs

Author's Response:

I am so glad! It was grim and I questioned whether I should post it. Glad you liked it and thank you for your review!

Reviewer: Greywolf the Wanderer Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 09/28/2012 5:36 AM Title: Chapter 1

I rather like it, actually.  of course, I've a bad habit of killing one of both of our boys, so, ah, mebbe I'm just a *smeedge* biased, lol...  nicely done. 

Author's Response:

I am delighted you like it!  You have been one of my favorite authors on this site and others, so your kind words mean a great deal.  Personally, I felt like killing a lot of people the day I wrote it.  Good thing I kept it to fiction, eh?

Reviewer: oyboh Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 09/26/2012 6:58 AM Title: Chapter 1

Grim yes, but an absolute gem. You have crystallized the waiting, and the aftermath, perfectly. I don't think that can be done so well just from the imagination.

Sometimes, you know, they do come back. But remembering the waiting is quite strongly forever.

I've always hated the Nexus--but yours is fine.

Author's Response:

Thank you!  I've been through the grieving process a couple of times, so I am glad I could instill some truth into Jim's responses.

Reviewer: Arcadii Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 09/25/2012 10:17 AM Title: Chapter 1

I don't think it's any different than when someone comes back from a near-death experience and says they were surrounded by family and friends that have already passed on.  Whether it's the brain beginning the process of shutting down or they are passing on to the 'after life' they are comforted.  So I don't think it matters whether Spock was really there or not, Jim obviously thought he was and was comforted by it and finally able to express his love.  If it was an illusion, would that have been so bad, wouldn't that just be typical Kirk changing a no-win scenario into one where he does win?  And isn't living an illusion when your life is unlivable what The Keeper from The Menagerie offered Pike? 


Author's Response:

I agree completely!  Great analogy to the Menagerie.  As to Jim's life being unlivable, obvious it was tolerable up to a point but at the end of our lives, I guess we want what we always had or believed we should have had.  That he would populate his existance with his lost chance with Spock is tragic but somehow right.  I just have to say I love your reviews, they always make me think and give me more ideas.  Thank you once again.

Reviewer: Arcadii Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 09/25/2012 12:00 AM Title: Chapter 1

This reminds me of the end of The Titanic.  It's so sad when the two lovers are parted by death until the very end when they are reunited, just like in your story.  I see it more as an affirmation that love does indeed go on.  Thank you for sharing it!

Author's Response:

I am not entirely sure Spock was in the nexus.   I do think the Nexus applies to how they feel about eacy other,

Reviewer: SORAL179 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 09/24/2012 2:36 PM Title: Chapter 1

What can I say half of me wants a Dallas style dream the other says no, that would destroy the quality of this piece.

Author's Response:

That's the nice thing about fiction, eh?  It goes one way today and takes off at a dead run the other direction tomorrow.  Thank you for your review.

Reviewer: ironland Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 09/24/2012 1:40 PM Title: Chapter 1

Kinda grim.  What do you think?


Damn, all I can do is cry. Nexus never be truth. 

Author's Response:

The Nexus was such a plot cheat but I used it because try as I might, I can't separate them forever.  That's JJ land.  Thank you for your review.

Reviewer: Tydomin Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/24/2012 10:40 AM Title: Chapter 1

Hmm.  This is interesting.  It's strange, because sometimes Spock seems to fight so hard to stay alive, yet it seems that it could be all to easy for him just to give up and surrender to the abyss.  Could Jim have saved him?  Perhaps - some people truly are living in another realm even while they still walk the Earth, and when they die they go somewhere that the rest of us can never really comprehend.  I see this in his character all the time, but maybe when there's a Jim there to pull him back from the brink it makes it better just for long enough...  Not this time though :(

Author's Response:

I think we all walk close to the abyss and no one should count on another to pull them out.  Jim's responsibility was not to save Spock but to help Spock save himself.    Also, I have to point out we don't really know if Spock is actually in the Nexus, it could be Jim's mind.  Brrr, it just got cold in here!  Thank you for your review, as always!

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 09/24/2012 7:43 AM Title: Chapter 1

Sometimes, we write what reflects our mood, and wish for what could have been. The song that Spock composed really touched Jim's heart, like a piece of him was left behind. In the end, he had a second chance to show him how much he cared. Very sad piece, but life in general isn't perfect, and you can't always win. You try to remember the good times, and let time heal the wounds...

Great job my friend..

Author's Response:

You put it so well,"you can't always win".  Even when you think you have, at the end of the day, its just smoke and mirrors. I really don't know where or why this story came about.  I kind of need to get this out of my system.  I suppose I owe everyone on the archives $ as my therapists!  Thank you for you review and kind comments.

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