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Reviewer: nhrc Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/02/2016 4:29 PM Title: all story

(a Sigh) haaaa....beautiful

Reviewer: Debauchi Signed [Report This]
Date: 11/07/2013 7:51 PM Title: all story

Lovely fic! I enjoyed it  lot! really well written. thanks ^_^

Reviewer: roswellfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/10/2013 6:21 AM Title: all story

Aw, this was really sweet! And kudos to you for attempting to write in a foreign language. I appreciate the effort!

Reviewer: Mtnhi32 Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/22/2012 7:55 PM Title: all story

I would be happy to over the weekend. email me at and send me a copy.  let me know where you are, I am in Colorado in the US. it will be easier for us to communicate via email I think. if you want an example of my writing style I have a cowritten fic on here called our side of paradise.

Author's Response:

I read the story and I don't think you need me to say It's very good...but....It's very good!!! I'm sending you an e-mail immediately... Thanks again! You're saving me, and the other poor readers that will have otherwise to read my syntax....

Reviewer: Pamdizzle Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/22/2012 3:33 PM Title: all story

It's not uncommon for authors to have more than one beta, but considering that other than syntax and punctuation, you aren't having too much trouble with writing, I honestly don't think you need more than one. If Mtnhi32 is willing to help you as well, then I would suggest going with her since I know, for me, my schedule can be somewhat...unpredictable at times. I still beta for anyone that asks, but when there's another willing soul, it might be more expedient for you to use them. Of course, I'm always happy to back up beta, but I really don't think you need two working silmultaneously. :)

Author's Response:

Thank you, I'll follow your advice... and thanks again for your help... and reading my story!!!!

Reviewer: Mtnhi32 Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/22/2012 1:39 PM Title: all story

I think you did a great job...the story was very sweet. Yes it is noticeable that English is not your first language but that is ok. I like to beta for fun and have worked with non English speaking writers before. I could help you if you like. You have the talent and spirit, you just need some help with the translation stuff. 

Author's Response:

Thank you for your kindness!!!! I was very worried and I know my writing is heavy. The fact is that I love this pair so much and I wanted to participate .... and for your offer, I will gladly accept that, only I have no idea how it works .... but I'm more than willing. Thank you very much!!!!

Reviewer: Pamdizzle Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 08/22/2012 11:44 AM Title: all story

A sequel would be welcome. However, may a I strongly suggest that you find a beta reader fluent in English to comb through this and any future story you post to eridicate some simple mistakes that are common among those whose first language is not English. There is a great plot here, good dialogue...but it's buried under puntuaction and syntax errors.

I'm not flaming you--the story is good, but few people will read it past the first four paragraphs as it sits and even fewer people will be willing to read another story from you if you don't find a beta because the punctuation and syntax errors disrupt the flow and that can be frustrating, especially when the reader knows there's a good story here, but they keep running into little snags that hang them up throughout.

Again, it is a GOOD story. Please find a beta, in fact, I happen to be a beta reader. So, if you don't have anyone currently that you know, fluent in English, who can look it over for you just hit me up on my bio and I'll give you a hand.

A very good first story, just needs a good once over.

Author's Response:

Thank you for your advices, that was exactly what I was fearing. This is absolutely the first thing I write in english and even if I tried with all myself I knew that was difficult to read.... But really, It's good to know I didn't make a total mess of it, at least not with plot and characters. Maybe the mistake was writing a long story .... but I have this tendency.... Thank you so much!!! I don't have a beta, and another offered to help as you can read in the reviews, If it possible to have two.... I would accept you kind offer...I'm not familiar with How this works...

Reviewer: muggy44 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 08/22/2012 6:36 AM Title: all story

Yes, please keep writing more. This was wonderful. I would love to read more of this story and anything you write. Xoxo

Author's Response:

You're too kind! Thank you ... I was very worried about this....It's really the fist thing I write. Thank you again for your appreciation !!!!

Reviewer: cowgirl dressage Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/22/2012 3:42 AM Title: all story

soooo, You did really well considering it is your first fanfiction and english isn't your native language.  It is a good, clever story, well written, good dialogue and totally made sense.  You should continue to write and post!  That said, I have some suggestions, not that I am any expert and god knows, my first forays were just 2 months ago.  First, get a beta to sort out some vocabulary and grammar issues.  They aren't glaring and don't keep the reader from enjoying the story but improve readability.  Second, try to see what you are describing and don't rely on what others have written describing the same thing (we have all done this), make it your own.  This was the advise I have been given and it is terrific.  I have actually written a couple of decent sentences as a result.  Don't stop, keep going!

Author's Response:

You're right, and I know much work is still needed, but I want to do better and your suggestion will help me. Thank you again!!! I'm happy that I didn't made a total mess out of it! Thanks...

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