Date: 07/09/2012 1:03 AM Title: Chapter 4
“I was under the impression that Solran was representing the two of us equally. But he might have been hired by my father just simply because my father wanted to keep me out of trouble.”
0.0 wow. I was thinking the same thing.
And people wonder why she might feel defensive at times? Why she might act so bitchy towards somebody who only saw her as that “hot, exotic black woman”? Why she always felt so disappointed every time she heard of some woman who was up for a promotion to captain, only to have that position given to some man instead? It was mainly because she wanted to be seen as more than just some attractive woman. She wanted to be seen as somebody who was strong, capable and good as anybody else.
I am loving this. Do go on :DDD
Date: 07/03/2012 10:04 AM Title: Chapter 1
Gah, those Abrams uniforms don't even have rank stripes on them! Imagine that!
Like - who cares what rank you are, you counldn't possibly be somebody important, you are there just to be a girl eye-candy.
I know the Uhura actress of TOS tried to pass it off as a mini skirt movement/women libberation thing, but Gene ranting about Paramount forcing him to dumb down the show had the treatment of females included in it. His words show it was forced onto him and had nothing to do with what Uhura actress says.
In the original pilot the female uniforms were just as professional as male ones. But then we lose the female first officer and get her transformed into a clingy blonde nurse with a crush on Spock, and everybody loses their trousers. Though if you look carefully, some of the women in the background scenes of TOS still wear them (and a lot of them are in command gold <3) and the later ST canon explaines it as - some women chose to keep thair trousers, some like Uhura chose to go without them and both uniforms are accepted.
PS: as Nuhura's superior, Spock pulls more weight for his actions than Nuhura does, the consequences can only be either worse for Spock or equal for both of them.
Date: 07/01/2012 1:12 AM Title: Chapter 3
I just finished reading all the chapters. Interesting storyline! You wrote earlier that Nyota said she was 18 at the time of Nero (unless I misunderstood). She would have been at least 20 or 21, right?
It would be interesting if Spock would get pregnant in your storyline (since you wrote that he has both reproductive organs (a backup, I think you said).
Looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Actually, she was around 18 when she joined up and became an cadet. remember, years passed by in the movie even though they didn't do a good job of showing the passages of time. So yes, when Nero attacked she was around 20 years old. :)
Date: 06/30/2012 8:12 AM Title: Chapter 3
Wow! This is great! I really liked how you handled a lot of expostion. It is hard to make interesting and yet you did while keeping with 'canon'. You have a few awkward sentences but your careful editing shows. Can't wait for more.
Date: 06/29/2012 6:36 AM Title: Chapter 1
I must say, it is very strange the way they handle this issue in the movie - completly ignore the imposibillity of two of them being professional + still having a job + fraternising at the same time.
J.J. himself admited he never watched or liked ST but the other two who say they are fans .... don't seem to know very much about anything either.
Date: 06/29/2012 6:28 AM Title: Chapter 1
Aw, this is going to be a complicated one, you sure up to 5 chapters is going to be enough? :D
The whole matter is more complicated than just - they did/didn't have sex, Nuhura has to prove she is qualified to be on the Enterprise too because it was Spock who gave her the grades she mentions as a proof in the movie. If the academy instructor behind her promotion is under her influence that puts her whole academy career under question.
Not to mention the misconduct on the Enterprise later on. It is a serious breech of protocol to leave your post during your working hours for a make out session with anybody let alone Spock who is her superior - especially during a situation like the one in the movie, both when she failed to send the evacuation order to Vulcan which means people may have diead because of her, as well as the simply not being there at her post when needed/fraternising instead.
That alone can get them both thrown out of Starfleet for good, nevermind if they make it throught proving she earned her grades and the Enterprise posting (I imagine the log of Spock changing her posting still exists in the database).
And if they manage to prove she did earn her grades and her post on the Enterprise, there is still the issue of her and Spock fraternising while on the Enterprise - she/he will have to either swich to a different department/step down from being first officer or be transferred to a different ship.
Date: 06/28/2012 11:20 PM Title: Chapter 1
Good start, but may I suggest a beta? You're making some tense errors (using were instead of was and so on) that make it hard to read and there are a few instances of using the same phrase a little too frequently. For instance, "back then" was used I think three times in one paragraph and in the same quotation. lol. Just minor things that would make the story read a little better.
I don't think there is anything wrong with you answering your own challenge. Good premiss, good start--needs a little fine tuning. ;) Keep going!