Date: 01/26/2013 5:40 AM Title: 1.
i loved this story from start to finish, your way with words, patterning sentences lends a quirkiness to this and a lot of emotionalism. really great job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, but just fyi, it's not actually finished! Sorry the authors notes were confusing :) I hope you like what is to come as much as you liked the beginning and false ending.
Date: 06/19/2012 8:25 AM Title: 2.
I love the way this chapter follows the first chapter. You establish this parallel between Kirk's drive and Spock's: they're so similar in structure, but differ in vocabulary and method. This stands out as great writing because there's no Venn diagram of the ways they exist, and no exaggeration of differences for dramatic effect. So many people think that writing dynamic characters is writing "Spock felt striped while Kirk felt polka-dotted." There are similar veins in their different ways, and it takes a good writer to expose them without making it the point of their existence. What I'm trying to get at is that your characters are so well done. Whole people, instead of just fractions of one idea all related to themselves.
Of course, aiding your spectacular character development is your mastery of their voices. I can hear every word. The last line of dialogue is so biting, and sad in this painful way.
Maybe this is reading too far into things (no such thing!) but I love how the last line echoes the oft-repeated theme 'I have been, and always shall be, your friend.' I feel like it's deepened by your Ceremony tattoo.
I should shut up now :D
Author's Response: It's definitely deepened by my tattoo. If not ripped off from it. You know all my secrets! These reviews are more beautiful than the actual fic.
Date: 06/19/2012 8:10 AM Title: 1.
I feel silly reviewing all your stories in one night, because I keep getting drawn to very similar themes. Somehow it feels like the fault of repetition is mine, because the virtue or repetition is yours. Anyhow, these lines and themes are brilliant:
"Loving Spock is full blown agony, and agony requires more strength to withstand."
"If loving Spock is just another Thelysian vinegar spoonful, more dated and barbaric medical techniques. Anything to make his existence a more difficult thing to conquer, and therefore a greater feat of forward motion.
And as he stands upright and strides out of his quarters with the mask of determination upon his face Kirk knows, as he always does, that the real reason he loves Spock is because he simply cannot help it."
The dream is such a well done dream. Those are hard to do well, but you're so good at it. I also love the nod to the Federation's use of lying to pacify itself, as a parallel to Kirk's. The character definition in this chapter alone is just brilliant. I think I used that word already, and it's because I'm repetitive and you're brilliant.
Author's Response: I think you're drawn to similar themes because I blatantly reuse them...? Maybe? Thank you for these, though. I love you.
Date: 06/16/2012 9:37 PM Title: 4.
Spock told a lie? Ooooh...
Excellent, my friend - lots of things going on under the surface... Thanks for posting!
Author's Response: he did! I love that in the show they say that Vulcans can't lie but Spock lies ALL THE TIME.they lied about the vulcan lies!! hahah thank you sooo much for reading and reviewing.
Date: 06/16/2012 1:32 AM Title: 4.
This chapter was GORGEOUS! How like Spock to compare how illogical love is to the flight of bees! And the end with Jim! There's something raw in Spock there. Yummy. Very good job, darling!
Author's Response: EEEEeeeeee thank you thank you! You are so sweet and lovely! Yes, Spock is very raw. He just doesn't want to admit it. :) Thanks!
Date: 06/13/2012 8:54 PM Title: 1.
! Who are you, and what have you done with the philosopher-poet?!
This is beautiful!
Author's Response: Oh my, philosopher-poet?! This is an incredibly lofty compliment. I only hope the rest of this story lives up to your expectations. You are far too kind. Thank you so much for reading :)
Date: 06/12/2012 3:33 AM Title: 3.
You've got a minor typo in chapter 2, there's a random '.r32;' in there somewhere near the middle.
'They are forever trapped in this purgatory, touched but not touching, facing one another, but not together. Waiting, maybe.r32;'
That aside (thought I'd inform you of that) I'm loving the way this is shaping up so far! You're right, the beauty of Spock is in that which he cannot say, he thinks of himself as so imperfect, when in fact... anyway, wonderful. I'll be checking up on this often! (:
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I don't know why my computer does this, but it turns some coding or something into that! do you have any idea what causes that!? thanks for letting me know:) I'm so glad you like this!! Thanks for commenting.
Date: 06/08/2012 3:55 AM Title: 1.
Again, an amazing point of view. As much as I love fan fiction, it is a rare story that makes me think and feel. This is very beautiful.
Author's Response: Thank you thank you! I'm thrilled you're thinking and feeling as a result of this story.
Date: 06/07/2012 8:50 PM Title: 2.
This story reminds me of the feeling under my eyes when I've spents hours just reading a good book. I'm SOO TIRED but at the same time it's SOO WORTH IT
I don't know. It's just that it's true. Without pain, how will we understand pleasure? Deep stuff ;D
Author's Response: Ahhaha sorry so tire you so! And I'm glad you agree that joy isn;t joy unless it's preceded by pain. Thank you so much for reading :)
Date: 06/07/2012 7:08 PM Title: 2.
Very nice indeed. This has a very peaceful, introspective feel which I liked - and I think it is also an insightful peek into Spock's internal landscape. There is also a lingering ache when you read it...
What I mean is that this is a great chapter and I enjoyed it - thanks for posting!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you're enjoying it! I'm glad it seems peaceful and introspective, I'm kind of going for that slow sadness. :) Thank you!
Date: 06/07/2012 5:27 PM Title: 1.
Now it's Spock's point of view..This is so very interesting, love how you speak about Spock's inpurity. How he wishes so much to be Vulcan, how everytime he is in control, and proud of it, it is shattered the moment Jim enters a scene.
It certainly must be frustrating for him...
I love their little conversation between them. I can hear the actors voices so perfectly, how Jim would smile with his eyes, how he tilts his head.
Now, we come to that famous word..love....this line love it very much...and I just can feel Jim smirking when he asked it, hiding seconds later by that tea cup.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I was not aware that we were speaking about love,” Spock says. His voice is hoarse, but he tries very hard to ensure that his eyes are not bright. That is always what gives Jim away, the eyes. That is how Spock knows they are talking about love, even when they are not talking about love. Kirk laughs, a bark of a laugh that fogs up the emptiness in his glass. “No, I suppose we weren’t. We wouldn’t be, would we, Mr. Spock?” Can't wait til you update. Great chapter.
Author's Response: Oh I'm so glad you like this! And that you can hear the dialog in their voices. That's one of my biggest goals. thank you thank you thank you!!
Date: 06/07/2012 5:11 PM Title: 1.
Awesome. I do not know why, but it makes me feel hurt.
Author's Response: I don't want to hurt you, obviously, but it makes me really happy that you're having feeling when you read this story! Thank you so much. I really was attempting to hit a sad, aching nerve with this piece. Thank you again!
Date: 06/05/2012 10:11 AM Title: 1.
Very nice! It's an interesting perspective on Kirk's inner landscape here, and some excellent metaphors.
I enjoyed it, thanks for posting!
(And now I feel like I should go for a run!)
Author's Response: Thank you! And running is always fun, but probably more fun if you're Jim Kirk and made of steel. Thanks for reading!