Date: 04/20/2012 8:42 AM Title: Chapter 3
NEXT WEEK.........*wailing* which you can probably hear from where-ever you are right now.
Hope that Art History exam goes really well for you and I will wait as patiently as possible in the mean-time.
Studying art between Baroque and Impressionist. 32 pages of study guide fun to memorize!
Date: 04/20/2012 5:10 AM Title: Chapter 3
Two things i see wrong here on alot of levels. Jim not that big of a whore. Spock would not let him out of his site and if the other valcun could sence the baby so could spock and he would be able to Tell that Jim and the baby are in danger. Still loven the story. XOXO
Hehehehe... Half of that is right... won't tell you which half (because it will ruin the surprise).
Date: 04/09/2012 12:53 AM Title: Chapter 2
I like this story. I am enjoying the angst of the premise that Kirk is carrying Spock's baby, but Spock is in love with Uhura.
I'll be honest though. For me, the writing could be better in some key areas. I almost found the break-neck speed, the lack of realistic details in chapter one to ALMOST be a reason for me to move on from the story. I didn't because overall, the story telling is straight forward and shows a lot of potential for you as a writer.
All writers start somewhere and having folks around, especially older writers and great betas do help along the way and are useful for avoiding writing things like this:
“You know you can press charges… attacking a superior officer is almost grounds for mutiny.”
I have no idea what you are trying to say because the word "mutiny", in context with your sentence makes no sense.
The readers are already willing to accept the fact of male pregnancy, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea for a writer to NOT pay attention to other details. While having Uhura slap Kirk might be good for drama, sometimes a writer needs to value realism over what feels fun to write. Remember, Starfleet is a military organization. Uhura is a professional. She would NEVER strike her CO and if she did, her ass would be in the brig.
Keep writing - I DO so want to find out how all of this turns out!
I suppose a better word would be "treason." Really it was "she's commiting mutiny by attacking a superior officer."
I was following someone's challenge in the Uhura's behavior department. She's protective over Spock... but we don't get to know about that yet because this is all Kirk's POV and it would spoil the angst to have Spock's thoughts invade before we're ready to hear them. Also I'm going with the reboot!verse which is a lot more hands on than the original series. You could argue that Spock strangling Kirk outside of Pon Far is OOC too... but that's the universe I'm working with (and Chris Pine spent the entire movie gasping for air, grunting and getting beat up). Reboot universe Uhura met Kirk at a bar where he tried to pick up on her. She doesn't have the same respect for her captain as the Nichelle Nichols version had. They have a different past together and the alternate universe sparks changes in personality so she's a bit more assertive than her Uhura!Prime counterpart.
Date: 04/07/2012 4:07 AM Title: Chapter 2
HE SHOULD OF SLAPED HER BACK. HOW DARE THAT BITCH. SHE HAD NO RIGHT TOUCHING HIM WHAT SO EVER. SORRY I JUST DON'T LIKE HER NOT EVEN IN THE MOVIE. BUT STORY IS SO WONDERFUL. CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE. BUT I CAN BE PATIENT. XOXOXOXO