Date: 02/21/2012 9:48 AM Title: Chapter 3
I hope you tell us something about Kirk's emotional reaction to Spock bluntly stating that they need to terminate their relationship.
Unless Kirk is just in denial at this point. That would fit.
I probably will not do that. Kirk knows that if Spock is not re turned to normal then they will have to end the relationship, he had began to say just that but cut himself off and Spock finished his thought. He is not saying that they have to right at the moment, he was stating that if he remains a cat then they will have too.
Date: 02/21/2012 9:43 AM Title: Chapter 1
Boy. Darling, you need a beta.
Kirk sat in his chair on the bridge looking out of the view screen at the planet they were orbiting worriedly.
Move "worriedly" to be next to the verb it modifies. It looks as if you mean to modify "to orbit", which makes no sense. "To sit" is a bit off, so I'm guessing worriedly goes with "to look".
Spock was on that planet and had reported that he was in danger and requested a beam up not too long ago.
Nope, not how you join two verb phrases. There are three verbs here so stylistically this is just too confusing. Use "had" again in front of "requested" since you have conjoined it (using "and") with was.
Kirk had wanted to run to the transporter room as soon as the message was finished. But Scotty couldn't even beam him up yet, he had to fix a wire in the transporter first and he would only be in the way.
You've used a comma splice here, tsk tsk. You could use a semicolon; that would pass. I've highlighted he because you've just changed subjects from Scotty to Kirk. You need to say "Kirk" here, lest you be unclear.
This is just the first paragraph. This is why you are getting downfisties low ratings. I hate to see anyone get bombed like this just over clutzy stuff like this. Please, please get a beta, even if it just a friend who is an English major/AP English star, and if this kind of stuff (grammar, style) perplexes you, pick up a copy of Strunk&White. It's not the end-all and be-all, but it is a good start.
I have a beta thank you very much. And I really dont care if I get low ratings, I'm not writing for the ratings, I'm writing for fun and because I like writing. Yes gramer and puncuation confuses me, I have a learning disability and have trouble with writing correctly because of it. But this is my most reviewed story so apparently people like it. I am not atempting to be mean but you are making it sound like you are insulting to me, I am not sure if that is what you are doing or not. But I will ask that you not do this again.
Date: 02/09/2012 5:56 PM Title: Chapter 1
Oh this is so much fun. I'm glad the story reached out from your mind. Those bunnies can be dangerous things when they get a hold of you.
LOL, yes they can be very dangerous indeed. Thank you for reading, I'm so glad you liked it.
Date: 02/08/2012 3:45 AM Title: Chapter 1
This was adorable....It sounds just like Spock, logical as ever. And Bones laughing like an idiot...thinking the whole thing was humorous. Jim at least is the rational one. Can't wait for more...
Aww, thank you. :) Yes Spock being his logical self, and Bones being well Bones and mocking poor Spock. Jim has to be rational with those two around. Thank you for the review, I hope you will read the other chapters as well.
Date: 02/08/2012 3:27 AM Title: Chapter 1
Wahhhhhhhhhh, Spock as a cat! How adorable!!! Continue this a.s.a.p!!!
Yes I think so as well. I have three chapters written, so it should be updated in a few days. Thank you for the review, I hope tou will read the other chapters as well.