Date: 04/09/2022 10:03 AM Title: Prologue
I love this story and return to it again and again. The first time I read it, I thought...What?....Spock...really? Condoms?? But still loved it. And of course on repeat reading I realised I'd missed the point. That it wasn't about the practicalities of sex but of Spock's difficult relationship with his mother, alluded to in TOS and AOS,....and sex. Which reminds me of a favourite quote:
Kirk: Didn't it ever occur to you to ask your mother?
Spock: No Jim, I have never asked my mother about her experiences during sexual congress with my father.
What I particularly enjoy about Eimeo's writing is her wonderful use of language, the angst...oh Lord, the angst!...and the way Kirk's relationship with Lori Ciani serves to encapsulate his despair at losing the two most important things in his life. And yet Lori is not belittled, she just cannot lay Kirk's ghosts. The way Kirk subsumes himself so as not to put Spock to flight is painful to read and the sexual tension is combustible.
The story, of course, is almost canon for Spock's flight to Gol and we are privy to Kirk's efforts to contact him and his parents' reaction. There is also a wonderfully oblique conversation about Spock between Kirk and McCoy which I can just hear Shatner and De Forest Kelly delivering. It contains another of my favourite quotes:
'What is this obsession' says Kirk 'That everyone seems to have with my happiness?'
'Bones,' he says 'Let it alone. There's nothing more to say. It's over'
'Ah Jim' says his friend quietly.....'Don't look like it's over to me.'
And then, after V'Ger - bearing in mind Spock has run from Jim one too many times...
'Tell me I'm wrong' says Kirk quietly.
There is an escape route for (Spock) if he wants to run. Kirk knows this and yet he offers. All Spock has to do is claim ignorance of this meaning and a door will close behind Kirk's eyes.....and they will find....something. Some way to coexist.
That's the Kirk I know...
From then on it's just dealing with chillis. And I will leave you with another favourite section which follows Kirk bathing his hand in milk in the kitchen (you'll have to read it...):
Despite himself and despite his hypoglycaemic irritation, Kirk has to bite down on a sudden urge to laugh. There is something inherently ridiculous about the fact he's sitting naked in his kitchen, nursing a lubricant burned hand, while Spock first-officers at him from beneath a floral, semen stained throw rug on the perils of mutual orgasms...
I can't recommend this work highly enough.
Date: 01/09/2017 11:36 PM Title: Prologue
I read this a couple of months ago. Now that I've got around to creating an account, 'extremely impressed' seems woefully inadequate to describe my week with Spice. Kirk's anguish, and some of the scenes with Lori in particular, have really stuck in my head. To employ a bit of synecdoche, there was one chapter I read on my phone, while walking along the street - not something I've ever done before - because it seemed impossible not to. I must say I expected Spock's almost-life-destroying reservations to be more firmly (logically?) grounded, but that took nothing way from the journey. Thank you.
Date: 09/13/2016 10:32 PM Title: Prologue
So much love for this fic. Also so much frustration because I had no idea how angsty it was gonna be and that you were gonna drag us through FORTY-SIX chapters of pain before the real resolution. Urrrgh! But I have no regrets. Totally worth the temporary sadness.
It may amuse you to know that, sometime during the third or fourth "he set aside the cold mug and considered brewing a fresh pot..." moment, I unintentionally grumbled out loud at my computer something along the lines of "oh my GOD, Kirk, just drink your damn coffee."
Date: 06/26/2015 6:33 PM Title: Prologue
Ok. Ok wow. So I've left a couple previous comments (largely inane - my apologies) but this will be my final one to wrap it all up.
So I just go into K/S a couple weeks ago and have, in the intervening period, gobbled up several fics, most between 100k and 150k words, and they were great. This seems like a fandom with great skill (and 50 years to have cultivated it) that I look forward to better exploring. Most of the fic I've found has been reboot based, and that's great, but I was growing a bit tired of the particular tone the reboot fandom writes with and the angst-rich dramatic backstory and wanted something that better captured the tone of the show itself. I also wanted nonau, and explored relationship dynamics, and length, and it all seemed to amount up to a pretty tall order. Spice, when I found it seemed promising, but I had no idea it would be so exactly what I wanted.
Your writing so beautifully captured the tone of the show, and the mannerisms of the characters, and the way you managed to follow canon while also moulding it seemlessly to your will was an absolute delight to read (although by the end I was lost - I've seen TOS and TNG and one or two movies; not enough to really give me the background to totally contextualize the story). I know there were other things I wanted to say but I find myself unable to recall them at the moment.
TLDR, thank you for this beautiful fic. Reading it has made for a lovely several days, and my friends are really starting to question my detachment.
Date: 06/26/2015 11:50 AM Title: Chapter 47
Okay, so last night I really thought this story ended after they kissed for the first time and I felt thoroughly unfulfilled, but now in the light of day I realize that what actually happened was I fell asleep while reading, concocted an ending to the fic immediately following the kiss, and dreamed that it ended.
I must say that it has been a great relief in the morning to find not only more of this chapter, but also several more following.
Date: 06/25/2015 3:23 PM Title: Chapter 44
I'm sorry this isn't really related to the contents of the story (fantastic, by the way) but God, there's so many absolutely gorgeous ten dollar words in here. I've been looking them up as I go and I desperately want to remember them but I just can't and it's such a shame... I don't know. Thank you for your vocabulary, I suppose.
Date: 06/22/2015 4:07 PM Title: Chapter 15
Well goddamn, I'm crying.
I had never considered, before, that someday the mission would have to come to an end. I suppose I had briefly, perhaps, in the context of I-don't-remember-which-movie, but not in any seriousness. The more I think about it, the more it strikes me exactly how sad it would be to leave forever the tiny, contained space you've inhabited for the last five years, especially a place likely so laden with personal significance and memories as the enterprise.
Date: 04/10/2015 9:49 AM Title: Chapter 54
Oh Great E! I've read a lot of your Monster twice and even thrice..some just skimming to get me back to where I was (reading)--but so many times just for the joy of the prose. This goes for story description, but above all for Spock in Professor Mode describing all manner of absurd things (the eroticher the better).
I was tempted to jokingly say *finally* finished..but as soon as I *did* finish..I wasnted to wail and moan, "What!!!" Already done?? No more???"
Ahem. Glad to here re "more stories"....
Thank you immensely.
Date: 03/22/2015 10:53 AM Title: Prologue
So, I am back to reading your Epic!
I had so little time when I was working..must read the First Part 3 times. Then I skip-read it again and *nearly* read all the Second--last summer.
Now I have finally been dragged kicking and screaming nonononono into the Third Part (still in the first chapter but I think I know what comes next :( :(
You say there will be resolution. Just hafta trust you, right? As it is, the story is gripping--and, best of all, the words are just so awesomely well-chosen they become a synesthetic art form. And the personal story so beautiful in spite of its gut-clenchingness (or because of?) that you Have to know...
Dunno how long it will take me to finish, as I'm a quick reader but very very good stories sometimes necessitate a breather.
Just wanted to say again how great this is.
I will shut up now.
Date: 12/12/2014 6:00 PM Title: Prologue
I don't know whether to whine, cry, throw a tantrum, wet my pants, or throw up.
Firstly, THANK YOU SO MUCH for completing this awesome story! I am forever in your debt. I'd offer you my firstborn, but she gets really cranky sometimes, and I wouldn't inflict her on my worst enemy then. Besides, her husband and two little girls might complain if she's not around.
I can't get the Compatibility whatever to work on my browser (Chrome). I don't even know where to look for it. I CAN look up words in the VLD, but I'd also love to be able to use the nifty-roony tools that are tucked away in the computer world.
Finally, my last tears are for the fact the story is too damn long for me to copy it to my Kindle using the neato-keeno "Print to Kindle" feature available at Amazon. That tool is limited to 50 MB a whack, and Spice is 999 MB. Or something like that. So, I'm gonna SUCK IT UP and do an extensive copy-and-paste effort to chop your glorious work of art into segments that will work with Kindle. And I shall do with this a smile on my face and a song in my heart, because dammit, this is one of the best, if not THE VERY BEST K/S fanfic I've ever read! You have run the race against Jenna Sinclair (glory to her name, that lady is magnificent and long shall we glorify her!) and you ran her into the ground!
Someday, some how, I hope my pitiful little drabbles will grow up big and strong and maybe inhabit the same ethereal realm where the stories of the REAL writers of K/S dwell!
Until then, I worship at your feet.
Date: 12/12/2014 3:21 PM Title: Prologue
So it's finally come to an end. I've been following this story for as long as you've been putting it up and it has long been my favorite WIP on the archive. I loved that you didn't end the story soon after they reunited in Iowa but gave us two or three more very satisfying chapters. After all, we suffered with them for so long that it was lovely to enjoy that long reconnection.
And now I'm looking forward to this (as well as rereading the whole epic from start to finish):
so, if anyone’s still interested, I guarantee there will be more stories in this universe.
oh yes, please! I think there is no doubt there are many, many of your faithful readers who are definitely very interested. Thank you for all your hard work on this wonderful story and I don't think I need to tell you again what a superb writer you are.
Date: 11/17/2014 1:54 AM Title: Chapter 54
What a perfect ending to a stunning, epic work and a virtuoso performance as a writer. The unforgettable prose will haunt me for a long time. I suspect that for me, this will remain the definitive account of what happened between the end of the year mission and V'Ger, perhaps the definitive account of the Kirk/Spock relationship, period.
I found the penultimate paragraph especially perfect: "Spock's eyes on his, ready to meet him as he recalibrates, re-orients, finds himself again in the center of his brave new world." In a way, this long and complex story has been the story of Kirk's and Spock's finding their way back to that center, to the truth of their relationship that was always there, however unfulfilled or frustrated. It has become a truism to say that women's writing tends to be non-linear -- Ursula LeGuin wrote an essay about that, using the metaphor of hunters vs. gatherers -- and for me, part of the wonder and beauty of Spice is its shape, which is like a circle or a spiral, not a spear. It's a story in which the two men move ever more deeply into connection, into the fullness and depth of their relationship. That's what it's been about for me, at least.
This last chapter reminded me of first-season TOS in its attention to the subtle exchanges between the two men: the lingering glances, the lifting of an eyebrow, the tiny smiles, the humor, the way they read each other. And as one who has parsed and explicated the famous Footnote within an inch of its life, I was tickled to death to see the first part of it dramatized just as I always imagined.
I'll be looking for more of your writing, whether in this universe or any other that the K/S relationship inhabits.
YES!!! Nobody else has commented on the Footnote reference; I was afraid I'd made it too obscure! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ENJOYING THAT. I amused myself no end when I was writing it ( though I probably shouldn't admit these things...). I'm exactly the same: once I got over the delicious ambiguity of it; the decision to include "lover" in the definition in the first place; and Kirk's complete and utter failure to deny the fact that he was sleeping with his first officer; I could NOT get past the fact that, yes, they have apparently DISCUSSED the rumor that they're shagging like bunnies, and, yes, someone made the mistake of bringing the fact of the rumor's existence to Spock's attention. AND THEN KIRK ASKED HIM ABOUT IT. Under what circumstances does any of this make sense if they're not sleeping together? (And under what circumstances, if they're not sleeping together, does Kirk not go, "Hahahaha... no. No. Not with Spock," when he's asked about it, for that matter, but I'm pretty sure we can all agree on that one.) But, truly, thank you so much. Thank you for reading and thank you for your wonderfully kind and encouraging comments throughout (I LOVE that idea of hunters vs gatherers; it had never occurred to me before, but, of course, LeGuin was the master. She would express it so perfectly.) I never wanted it to be a spear - I never wanted to tell the story in a purely linear manner - and I always wanted it to circle around, come back on itself, echo its earlier passages, because Kirk's musings in the final passages are pretty much how I feel about their stories - all their stories - in that they are forever returning to themselves, in some form or another. It's why I find their later years so moving and so poignant; they're not as they were, but they also are. The echoes of those younger men are always present. Anyway, this is nowhere near as coherent a response as I wanted it to be, so I'll quit while I'm not-really-ahead, and sign off with a huge, heartfelt THANK YOU. I hope you know what a thrill it is to read such astute and in-depth responses to each chapter; thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Date: 11/16/2014 4:48 AM Title: Chapter 54
Delightful ending to an epic saga that has held us captured in its meanderings for so long. While you are not sure how to live without writing it, for us not waiting for its updates anymore is strange too. I like the note on which you chose to finish it, with the two of them getting back onto the Enterprise and back into deep space. I particularly loved the paragraph about Kirk feeling "the pull of homecoming tugging at the cords of his chest" and his wearing "his impatience like a sparking cloak of white noise and restlessness". You're a magician with your words - I'm eagerly waiting to see what you are going to share with us next.
Thank you so much! Fun fact: this chapter ended before I thought it was going to, but it got to where it got to, and I knew that was the moment. I'd have kept going forever, given half a chance, but that was it: it was done there, and I was... not happy, because I'm really missing my baby now that it's done, but satisfied. Thank you so much for reading and for all your kind comments throughout.
Date: 11/14/2014 2:56 AM Title: Chapter 53
Before I read and comment on the last chapter, I just wanted to mention that I am glad, in a way, that bonding and mind melds during sex do not appear to be on the horizon in this story. The deep love and closeness you have conveyed so far are transcendent enough as it is, and I tend to feel that telepathic sex and bonding can too easily become a shortcut, a substitute for the path you have staked out with such care and honesty, toward a relationship of deep love. In your way, their intimacy is fully earned.
In any case, it seems that Starfleet "officially" would frown on an open relationship, much less a bonding or even a marriage, between the first and second in command, while respecting the sound judgment of the officers in question. That strikes me as a reasonable compromise.
Oh, I'm glad. I have a "never say never" policy on this fic, ever since I was unexpectedly t'hy'la-bombed by it in Chapter 30 (I wasn't planning to use the t-word until it just went ahead and showed up all by itself, because I my authority over this fic is often no more than nominal), but I was fairly sure from the beginning that bonding and meld-sex weren't going to appear. I've nothing against any of the above - and I love a bit of t'hy'la, bonding and meld-sex as much as the next woman - but I feel like there's almost an expectation that they'll make an appearance in fic, and I guess I'm just contrary like that :-) And also for the reasons that you mention: if they're going to turn up, I want there to be a really good reason for them to be there. Also, I agree with you - I feel like Starfleet would have to frown on any open relationship between an officer and his CO, because that creates a clear conflict of interest and compromises the chain of command. And Nogura will, of course, know that he can rely on Kirk and Spock not to allow personal feelings to affect their professional actions, but that's not how it looks to the outside world. So, while I think they definitely do end up bonded in canon (by my count, pon farr is coming next year, anyway, so they'll have to make it official at that point), they'll do it on the quiet (though I'm certain their crew will be well aware of the nature of their relationship, but they're the sort of men who attract unwavering and uncompromising loyalty from the folks under their command, so I'm also certain that the crew will be fiercely protective of their COs' privacy) and continue to maintain the illusion that they're single men, for the sake of the holos. And this reading has the added advantage of being, as far as I can tell, completely available in canon :-)