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Reviewer: Greywolf the Wanderer Signed starstarstar [Report This]
Date: 10/01/2011 8:21 AM Title: Chapter 1

ahoy, lass, dinna worry aboot the dis review, they happen.  got hollered at once for supposedly leaving the ending off a story, which was in fact complete and already had a posted sequel!  whatcha gonna do.

and yeah, a good beta reader is a pearl of great price indeed -- but the emotions come through here quite clearly even with some booboos.  only wee glitch I saw was where Jim asked had he ever lied to Spock before, when he had just been doing exactly that.  easy ta fix, and otherwise I quite liked this.  keep writing, it's the best way to get better!

I give this a seven rating for heart and clear intent, and a five for less polish than some folks prefer.  for me it was fine!  so, yeah. :)



Author's Response:

Ooo wow good catch thank you very much! Ill go edit right now! Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: FantasyGem Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: 09/30/2011 8:40 PM Title: Chapter 1

Lillyj...it's my opinions haven't changed or my opinion hasn't changed...talk about calling the kettle black. I liked this well done.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your comment, and for your kind words. I currently have a beta now and I will be updating this story soon!

Reviewer: lilyj Signed half-star [Report This]
Date: 09/30/2011 8:22 PM Title: Chapter 1

FYI, I didn't delete my comment. It was deleted by someone else. And my opinion haven't changed since.

Author's Response:

Well I didn’t get the chance to read your comment, and I’m sorry you have negative feelings about my work which is still in the 'green' stages. I have taken advice and found myself a Beta in helping me with all of this. Hopefully you will find my future work more appealing.

Reviewer: Dahliaxat Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 09/30/2011 11:02 AM Title: Chapter 1

I enjoyed this story immensely and I myself make errors, but the only one's I picked up were spelling one's but I didn't think about that because the story flowed so well and it felt like TOS. It was wonderful. The spell checker thingy saves me a lot. A read bumpy line appears under any word that is misspelled to let you know that you made a mistake..I love that feature. So keep writing girl..I adore you work so far.

Author's Response:

*Tear* Thank you so much, but the funny thing is I do use spell check. Hmmm...

I love TOS, thats why all my stories are based off of them, I'm just glad that I have confidence in my writing to actually start again. I know im not the best but I'm certantly not the worst. Loved the comment!

Reviewer: spockiankirk Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/30/2011 1:39 AM Title: Chapter 1

Apparently the person who left the not-so-nice review has deleted it.  I just want to make clear that I certainly don't want to discourage you from writing.  As the others said, you've got the story part down, and that's the difficult part.  Grammar and other errors are the easy things to fix.  I think someone else mentioned a few ways to get a beta reader, so I'd follow that advice.  Good luck and keep writing!



Author's Response:

Thank you for the support in the future when I come up with a new idea and decide to write it out I will double check my ways and if I have found a betta send it threw them. Love the feed back!

Reviewer: Jaina Solo Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 09/29/2011 8:51 PM Title: Chapter 1

Although I thought her review was unnecessarily snarky, I do agree with lilyj about the importance of double-checking for mistakes.  Grammar and spelling aren't the end-all-be-all of writing, but in many cases they can make all the difference between a good story and a great stoy.  If you are concerned about not having a beta reader, you could always look on the bio pages of different readers on this site, and find out who is a beta reader.  It could never hurt to contact someone and ask if they would be interested in going over your story.  Fanfiction.Net also has an extensive list of beta readers, and the beta profiles will tell you whether or not someone is currently accepting beta requests.

But all that aside, this was a lovely story, and yes, it was full of heart.  Thank you for sharing.



Author's Response:

I will now go on the Epic search for a Betta reader, thank you kindly for the suggestion!

Reviewer: CMM Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/29/2011 8:44 PM Title: Chapter 1

I'm sort of between the two extremes. I do think your writing needs some help, and I do urge you to carefully read and review before you post. And do use spellcheck--it won't catch everything, but it will help. But I think the one reviewer who ripped you probably came off sounding harsher than he/she meant to. You may just need some practice. There is no question that the more mistakes there are, the harder it is for the reader to follow your meaning. Keep trying and good luck.



Author's Response:

I didnt read the comment that some one had wrote but I will keep your words in mind, and try to catch the mistakes that I see. Thank you for the comment, it means alot.

Reviewer: Fugitive Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/29/2011 8:06 PM Title: Chapter 1

This was lovely to read, and don't take any notice of lilij's rant... obviously some people care more about grammar than kindness.  Your story did indeed have heart, and was a cheering read for me during a week filled with nasty people, you have improved my day.  Thanks.



Author's Response:

This comment ment alot to me, I love to write even when to some I am not so good, I try to write out my thoughts to the best of my ability and to make just one person happy makes my confidince level soar and gives me the motivation to better my craft. Thank you so much.

Reviewer: magpie1600 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 09/29/2011 7:28 PM Title: Chapter 1

I do love a jealous Spock.  It is a powerful destructive emotion.  Nicely done with the ending.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the comment, its fun playing around with a emotional Vulcan ;)

Reviewer: spockiankirk Signed [Report This]
Date: 09/29/2011 5:46 PM Title: Chapter 1

I love the idea of this story, but I found it difficult to read because of all the errors.  I think having a beta reader would really help.



Author's Response:

If you have any one in mind I would be greatful for thier help!

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