Date: 09/03/2011 9:58 AM Title: Chapter 8
Awh, (deep sigh) :). Now I'm happy, Spock got off, they are in a relationship. Nicely all tied up. Good job all round. My that T'Sarai would give Perry Mason a run for his money. I love how she railroaded the prosecutor. Brilliant.
Date: 09/03/2011 8:34 AM Title: Chapter 7
Jim, you must think of me,” Spock told him.
“I’m always thinking about you,” Jim objected.
lolwut? Jim, your id is showing.
“It doesn’t matter,” Spock said, voice quiet, “Even if I were dying and my body broken, I would still be beside him. I—” he shuddered. “My control is poor. My apologies, Doctor.“
Awwwww. So sweet.
The minute Spock heard that there were to be no visitors, he walked away. Neither McCoy, embroiled in a battle to reassert his hospital dominance, nor the orderly, nor their security guard, noticed.
Yup, that's Spock all right.
Spock is clearly a sneaky ninja. No one ever notices when he goes and does things he's not suposed to. Thanks for reading!
Date: 09/03/2011 1:36 AM Title: Chapter 8
Oh, bravo!! This was an excellent story. I was thrilled to find it and enjoyed every moment. Thank you so very much. Everything was tied up nicely at the end and the love was apparent as well. You know I'm a sucker for romance. You did a fantastic job with this.
Thanks so much!
Date: 09/02/2011 9:15 PM Title: Chapter 8
Great ending. I especially loved how throughout this whole story you managed to keep the play-by-play between the Enterprise characters fresh and their voices just right. You would throw little things in there that just made me laugh even when the action was getting tense. Loved your McCoy. He was just awesome. I really enjoyed this piece. :~)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed!
Date: 09/02/2011 2:21 AM Title: Chapter 7
OH! This isn't the end is it? Oh, this was a great chapter. I was amazed at the news I learned about McCoy. Cloning? Really? Dead people? Wow. That's ... creepy. Even for Bones. The "unnatural" comments suddenly make perfect sense. I guess I could see people feeling that way. I was thrilled when Spock forcibly ejected the evil doctor out of his head. Way to go, Spock! Admiral Pike bailing them out was pretty freaking awesome too. I was amazed at so much of this story. The ending is a little vague. Are Jim and Spock romantically involved now? Or at least on their way to being so? Just curious. This was an awesome chapter. Thank you so much!
This is not the end - still one more chapter to go. Thank you so much for the thoughtful review!
Date: 09/01/2011 5:25 PM Title: Chapter 7
Brilliant chapter! You really manage to get their voices right! And there is a great TOS feel to the entire story and its characters although it is set in Abramsverse. (Somehow I can't help seeing the TOS actors in that story - and this is meant as a compliment!) Love the fact that they have to deal with the legal aftermath of their rescue mission. So much more realistic than just letting the boys save the day in their typically unconventional manner and be greeted by standing ovation from all sides. Your Bones simply rocks!
Eagerly awaiting your next chapter. I am not much online recently, got not much time for reading slashy goodness, but I will follow your updates for sure!
Date: 08/31/2011 10:34 PM Title: Chapter 6
Oh! Oh oh oh! Your writing has all the delicious elements of a grade-A mystery novel and I'm begging for more. I was particularly impressed with Spock's hotwiring skills (as a teen, huh?) and McCoy being willing to blast anything that moved in order to get Jim back. I really thought they were in the clear there at the end. Daggone it! Now I'm going to be all on edge until your next post. Way to go!
Thanks! More to come soon!
Date: 08/31/2011 9:13 AM Title: Chapter 1
I think what you see a lot in the older printed novels are references to plastic sheets being used in place of paper, or, of course, electronic screens. But paper would still be paper. (Recall all the references to Kirk's love of real printed books. Or Samuel Cogley's rants about the superiority of his very physical law library.) I kind of deleted a bunch of boring crap I wrote about how we get/make paper today but my point was, paper isn't going away any time soon--exactly for some of the reasons you mention.
re: their journey
I deleted my comment because it sounded petulant but I'm confused about their trip. If you drive north up the Atlantic coast from Leesburg, VA, you should make it all the way to Boston in a day assuming you don't hit traffic. But.... if that's where you were going you could go to a much bigger airport. You wouldn't even have to layover in Atlanta (ugh). So I'm confused, unless Spock is just stabbing in the dark here and went to a smaller market so the 100's of millions in the greater NYC area wouldn't mess with his telepathy or something.
Actually, wouldn't this usually be the point in the story where Spock commandeers a transporter? Could you at least explain why he can't? Civilian/military thing? Doesn't the Vulcan Embassy in SF have a transporter pad? I thought it did in one of the pronovels (one with Shatner's name on it, actually). Is Starfleet tracking transporter use carefully but paying no attention to air passenger traffic? Treated like a bus in space?
I mean, not that it wouldn't be cool not to be homelandsecuritied at the airport. Dude.
Not that I don't enjoy your writing. I guess it is engaging my brain that I'm asking so many questions. And you have a great sense of humor. (You should write more stories with Spock and McCoy squabbling.)
No worries, I'm glad to see my fic impacts you enough to really think about the nitty gritty details - it definitely helps me imrove as a writer. My thoughts on the "synth-paper" are this: it is a common substance used for things people don't want to read on PADDS and it's different than actual paper in that it's worth a lot less, and it's made from different materials. I completely made it up for the purpose of this story (because I thought in the fuure it would be weird to have a throwaway paper magazine just randomly under the seat when people find paper unusual enough to comment on) and it reflects my personal take on the trek reboot universe - namely that in mystical star trek future land, people would be a lot less wasteful. However, I can also see your take on it, and I shall think about it some more.
The "Transport" thing you hit the nail on the head with the idea of a bus in space. Spock and McCoy want to travel annonymously - if they go anywhere near a transporter, Starfleet will find them. They also are traveling on the spur of the moment, with no reservations, so they're taking what they can get-- thus why they have so many layovers in random places, and end up in Virginia instead of further north. By the time they find Kirk however, they are intended to be well into the more rural bits of New England.
Thank you so much for all your thoughtful reviews, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.
Date: 08/31/2011 8:58 AM Title: Chapter 6
The man pulled out a knife and delivered an overhand slash aimed at Spock’s temple. Spock followed the man’s arm movement, stepping to the side and in front of him, then lifted the man’s arm out of the way, slid behind him, and delivered a nerve pinch. He dropped without a struggle.
Kickass! Or maybe pinchneck! But yeah.
“How big is this damn house?” McCoy cursed, slamming closed the entrance of yet another cupboard filled with towels. “And why so many towels?”
Someone who lives there has OCD and always needs to use a fresh towel? They were on sale at Penney's? All of our uncles are cheap bastards and refused to buy anything we'd registered at Macy's? Seriously, though, search me. :)
“And that I have the Doctor,” said the mysterious man from Spock’s broken memory, and dreams that were not dreams.
Ooo, nice delivery.
Still dying to know what they want with McCoy!
If you're interested, this is what Spock is doing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2by2J6lzpr8 except without the throwing bit at the end. I guess a neck pinch is easier than a throw? Wish it worked for me . . .
Date: 08/31/2011 8:51 AM Title: Chapter 6
“What in the hell,” a second man appeared, rubbing his eyes at the light. He halted at the sight of the two Starfleet officers, eyes widening in alarm. “Jesus Christ, Walker,” he swore, backing off. “How much you want to bet they brought the goddamn feds with them?”
Ha ha, they are the feds.
“Don’t be stupid,” Walker said. He lowered his phaser slightly, turning to the other. “You think feds would be dumb enough to just walk up to the front door and knock on it?”
Date: 08/31/2011 8:46 AM Title: Chapter 6
More silence. Outside the ‘car, overgrown trees began to scrape at the sides, making an eerie scratching noise.
That was the last straw. “Damn it man, if I’m going to help your sorry ass, the least you could do is explain why in tarnation we look like we’re driving into the set of a horror holo!”
Willoughby! Next stop, Willoughby!
I know where Spock took the exit--White Plains, NY!
Ha ha, those pictures of it on Wikipedia are a filthy lie.
“Spock, where are we going?”
We're going to that advertised 24 hour gas station. See, it says 24 hours right on the locked glass doors. Hmm, the pumps seem to be shut off. Well, it is 2am. Are we short a few hours? What planet is this, again? #whiteplainsstories
Finally, finally Spock stopped the ‘car. He turned to regard McCoy, the dim light of the old road lamps reflecting the dark determination in his eyes.
"Yes, Doctor, we're there yet," he said.
McCoy’s eyes bulged. “What— how do you know that?”
“I told you,” Spock said, unbuckling his seat belt and opening the door. "My Garmin 7Trillion1 which is implanted behind my right ear. By the way, if you keep staring like that your eyes will get stuck that way."
“That is correct,” Spock said. He stripped off his lumpy sweater and stylish polo shirt and carefully folded them into the back before pulling on a long sleeved black shirt. He then strapped a knife to his calf, and wrapped the deadliest looking utility belt McCoy had ever seen around his waist, buckling it firmly in front.
This is fun.
“Damn Vulcan Voodoo,” McCoy said sourly,
Now on sale at CVS, 3.5oz box Vulcan Voodoo Sours candy, 2/$3.89.
When we get back, I’m going to run you two through every scan possible and see how your brains match up.
Spock keeps a spare brain in a case at home.
Oh, you said "you two". I am officially falling asleep here. But you could say brains about one person. Which is what I assumed. And I thought it sounded funny. Because I am both tired and silly.
I hope you aren't offended by my having some fun with your story. I promise to put it back in one piece.
Date: 08/31/2011 8:22 AM Title: Chapter 6
McCoy gaped at him. “You spoiled brat, does your father know you plan to use taxpayer money to stage an illegal rescue mission?” he exclaimed.
Ha ha! Well said!
Having weapons mailed to him? We are definitely reading the same comic books.
Date: 08/31/2011 8:17 AM Title: Chapter 6
Spock nodded gravely. “I will never be able to get close enough to the Captain to stage a rescue unless they have a reason to let me. You, Dr. McCoy, would be that reason. If you accompany me then they will believe that their scheme has worked, and that they control some aspect of my mind. By the time they discover their mistake it will be too late.”
I feel like we are reading the same comic books...