Reviews For Breathe, Beloved
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Reviewer: VCVZ Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/30/2012 9:21 PM Title: Chapter 1

"A Sleeping Beauty" as you humans would say
Will a kiss truly save the day?
If you do not wake, there is nothing for me here
Your death is the only thing I fear

Reviewer: trekkergirl Signed [Report This]
Date: 07/18/2011 7:25 AM Title: Chapter 1

Interesting.  Not sure if this was Spock.  But you did describe Kirk well.  Good write.

Reviewer: Aevylonya Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/22/2011 8:19 PM Title: Chapter 1

There is a lot of feeling in this. I like the images - particularly the third verse - "your touch is cold like the sea". The ending is very potent.

Two small things (since I like nitpicking): In the fourth verse, the use of the word "gay", though interesting because of its obvious double meaning, also gives off a hint of hilarity, which, I think, breaks with the mood of the poem. Also, in the seventh verse, "it's" should be "its", without the apostrophe. Just a teeny grammatical mistake.

But I like this. Especially since I'm fond of tragedy. You really bring across Spock's emotions in a realistic and passionate way.



Author's Response: Thanks for letting me know..I have trouble with my grammar and spelling..I will correct it..and I understand completely what you say about the gay part I may go and change it to something else...thanks again for pointing my mistakes...

Reviewer: Tydomin Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/20/2011 9:33 AM Title: Chapter 1

*sniff sniff*  It's so sad...  And we know that Spock won't stop trying until he takes his last breath himself...

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