I really hope you add more to this amazing story soon, it has so much potential! Please add more soon!!!
I thought Kirk's mother was Winona, not Amanda. Isn't that Spock's mother?
Otherwise this is a good starting point. I hope you continue. =)
Interesting start -- I hope you'll continue this soon. Also, I think you've got your mothers wrong -- Amanda was Spock's mother, not Kirk's.